First Encounters
by The Outlasted
Summary: This is a start to my favorite fictional couple. Granted this is my interpretation of these two. Being my first fan fiction, this is the beginning of my journey to writing Joker and Harley stories. I'm looking forward to making this a constant thing. But to introduce the tale, Harleen meets the Joker and you'll see were I go with it. As I repeat, my first time so be gentle with me.
1. Chapter 1

Origins: J x HQ

This is the first fanfiction I've ever written, let's see how this turns out shall we. ;)

Chapter: 1, Introduction

Harleen Quinzel was a fully trained psychiatrist, earned her PhD from Gotham University where she received a full scholarship from winning gymnast competitions. She always had a natural curiosity for the criminally insane. She never really thought that these people were crazy, it's just that she believed that she could save them if they were treated respect and kindness, that mind set was half true. Once she received the position of general psychiatrist, she transferred to her new workplace, Arkham Asylum. She was excited of this because she was gonna interview with the most high profiled cases, these patients were the most dangerous criminals in Gotham City, these were the same people that were dragged of back Arkham when their original plans were disrupted by the sole person who swore to protect this city: Batman.

Harleen was particularly interested in one patient, The Joker. She always wanted to interview him especially due to him being the most "unique" patient ever to be admitted to Arkham. When she was in college she submitted a thesis on him from files of previous doctors who interviewed the infamous Joker. Many of these past reports included different results, each doctor diagnosed him with different mental disorders, from general psychosis to reactive schizophrenia. Harleen found the doctors diagnoses to be wrong, she knew that there was something else to him, something that he was hiding. Mostly in general, the residents at the institution found Joker and the other inmates to be incurable but Harleen was gonna define that thought.

Chapter: 2, Arrival

"Today is the big day." said Harleen excitedly.

This was the pinnacle of her journey of becoming a renowned psychiatrist. She woke up at 6:45 a.m. with a groggy start, a shower was in order. After the shower to wake her up, there was the manor of breakfast. She had an egg with a single piece of toast. When breakfast was finished she put on her makeup to add the finishing touches to her outfit, the outfit consisted of a light crimson dress shirt, a black silk tie with lacing, a black mini skirt with a red slit on the left side. She didn't want to look like a hussy and give the wrong impression but she didn't want to be a 23 year old single lady looking like a 46 year old with 4 cats and have no social life even though the last remark was unfortunately true, young Harleen at the prime of her young life didn't really have the experience of living life to the fullest. Harleen had to work hard to get to where she is now and is proud of it, she just wished she would have some fun (But her wish will be fulfilled in due time). After she applied the black lipstick infused with a red shade, topping off with gray eyeshadow and mascara to compliment the look, she finished with twirling her blonde hair into a bun and then she put on her glasses. When she was finished, she left her apartment heading for her sedan to get to work and drove off to Arkham.

Entering the gates of Arkham Asylum she was disturbed by the gothic architecture reminding her of Dracula and Grimm fairy tales she read when she was a little girl. When she parked the car and started walking to the main entrance she couldn't help but have a large smile, she was truly happy with herself. Harleen though had controlled herself and kept the smile to minimum to not creep out her new coworkers. Entering the building Harleen saw the stereotypical environment of any medical facility, white walls with diagnosis charts, nurses on every corner of each hallway, clear transparent fluorescent lights that would strain anyone's eyes if stared at long enough, and that sterile smell of lysol that a person would have to acquire a tolerance for.

"Hello." said an unfamiliar voice, walking down the hallway. Harleen turned her head to see a cheerful woman looking to be in her mid-40's.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Joan Leland.", she said extending her hand.

"Hi Joan, I'm Dr. Harleen Quinzel, but you can call me Harley, everyone does.", said Harleen shaking Leland's hand and keeping a formal smile. The two started walking down the exclusion hallway where held the most sinister of Gotham's criminals. While they converse with each other, Harleen notices the men and women in the cells. She saw a man that suffered burns flipping a coin, a woman with green skin tending to her fern, a scarecrow reciting the works of Dante, a riddle being painted by a scrawny man on the walls of the his cell, and a dwarf in a top hat attending his own tea party, having the look like he is waiting for someone.

"I'm surprised that you wanted to work at Arkham, given your excellent transcript.", said Leland, curious about Harleen true intention to join the Arkham staff.

"Well I've always been intrigued by extreme personalities, there more challenging, more exciting...", said Harleen. She stop suddenly when she heard a person whistling and it captured her curiosity to find out who was whistling that capturing tune. Harleen left Leland as she was talking to follow the noise. When she found the epicenter of the tune she was dumbstruck to discover that it was the Joker that caught her eye. His skin was pale white from his accident from Ace Chemicals after his confrontation with Batman. The chemicals also changed his hair to have a dark green hue to it and his lips to have an enhanced crimson red hue making them look full with desire. His eyes were light vibrant green and menacing which looked straight through Harleen. Harleen was blushing a little when she noticed The Joker giving her his trademark smile and winked at her. She never seen him except from news reports on GNN (Gotham News Network) where it would entail what convoluted Joker had installed for the people of Gotham. She never noticed how slim but muscular his figure was and kept staring at him. Her heart was pounding faster than normal, despite him looking like a clown she had a physical attraction and a possibly an emotional one as well just have to wait and see.

"Enjoying the view Doc," chuckled Joker, he noticed her staring at him and he was actually checking her out when he heard there was a new psychiatrist joining the Arkham staff. He liked what he saw, a young little petite blonde fresh out of college he could play with, his new little toy he could break easily. He thought she didn't need glasses, he thought it made her look older than she was but he kept the idea in his erratic conscious where he'll bring it up later when he gets to know his little Harley Quinn more.

"Oh sorry," said Harleen blushing having even redder checks than before. Her response to his comment made his smile even wider if that was even possible. This made her have a sly grin appear on her face.

"I like what I heard about you…" Joker said with enthusiasm.

"You do, um thank you Mr. Joker" Harleen said surprised, she didn't know that The Joker knew her.

"Um what have you heard?"

"Well you graduated from Gotham University being class Valedictorian with highest honors from Dean Strange. You earned the scholarship from winning a gymnast championship your senior year of high school. You earned your Doctorate in Psychology with the intention to help those with mental disorders trying to cure them. Well I must say you have your work cut out for you now toots." Joker said winking at Harleen.

"I'm impressed Mr. Joker, may I ask how you know this much about me?" said Harleen now intrigued in The Joker and how he knew this much. She was actually surprised, no one really cared to know her background. She was becoming more and more interested in The Joker but she didn't know what she was about to be involved in.

"Oh my dear, no information goes through this asylum that I don't hear about. When I heard through the "grapevine" that old Doc Arkham gave employment to a spry young girl, I had to see this for myself. And let me just say that I'm very pleased with what I've seen." Joker said with wide unnatural grin. He felt different about this one, he couldn't help but have this sort of connectivity to this woman, he never cared for anyone but himself and bats of course but no, he could use her to his advantage as well as enjoy the fun that came with it.

Harleen couldn't respond to what he said. She just heard him flirting with her and she was feeling a little excited. Harleen had never felt like this before, a new exhilarating emotion starting to fill her system, it wasn't love, it was something different, adortion. Her cheeks were crimson red, slightly embarrassed by her physical reaction. Joker was truly enjoying making her feel this way, "It's ok sweets no need to feel embarrassed, if anything it shows that I can still make a lady blush."

"Yes you can Mr. Joker, yes you can." said Harleen biting her lip trying to suppress a giggle but she couldn't stop herself.

"Love the laff toots, you should always laugh, you'll live longer. I always laugh and look where I am now, and I couldn't be happier." He chuckled and so did Harleen a little.

"Dr. Quinzel," shouted Dr. Leland, she was looking for Harleen for some time. Arkham was such a big institution that anyone could get lost in it.

"Oh sorry, I have to go back." Harleen said with disappointment, she wanted to stay and talk to this character of man, a joker if it wasn't already obvious. She knew this wasn't the end of talking to The Joker. She was gonna make some requests to Leland.

"It's fine sweets, I understand, I'm looking forward to talking to you soon again." Joker said with his slightly devious smirk. It was as if he had already knew had her in his grasp and now he could experiment with his new toy, he was right.

"Bye Mr. Joker," Harley said a bit loosely, her moment of unprofessionalism made The Joker go into his iconic laughs which made Harleen smile wide.

When she left he said quietly to himself, "goodbye my little Harlequin."

…

Harleen returned to Leland apologizing for her absentness. She used the usual type of excuse, "I got lost." This was a decent cover to use for a lie. After they resumed the tour of the institution, Leland showed Harleen her new office. It was medium sized office, you could probably fit 10 possibly more people in there if there wasn't the stereotypical wooden desk for professionals and a bookcase where you could fill it with endless amounts of psych literature.

Leland left after Harleen entered her office to get adjusted to her new position in the Arkham staff. Harleen was excited about her new job but was more, looking forward to having sessions with the Joker. There was something about that laugh, that sense of humor, that build. He was 6 ft. where she 5 ft., 4 in. so he could easily pick her up and and throw her like a football. His size was intimidating to her slightly but he seemed to bring her no harm but we'll have to wait and see. It was about 5 o'clock and she knew she had to go her apartment but she kept having the urge to stay and work.

Three hours later Harleen finally said "enough I'm done", and then she went down the main hallway into the exit.

"Well hello sweets, have you come to see me again.", Joker said with a wicked smile.

"I was planning on leaving but I just wanted to see you again.", Harleen had a mischievous twinkle in her azure eyes.

"Oh really, well I'm flattered toots, so what do you want to know my dear.", his smile didn't phase from this conversation at all.

"Why do you show so much of an interest in me?"

"I can say the same thing about you."

"What do you mean?"

"O come on sweets, you can't tell I'm flittering with you?"

"Sorry I haven't really been the flirting type.", Harleen wasn't really the dating type, she always been a book worm. Fully realizing that only made her feel embarrassed and made her cheeks blush.

"Wow I must be less discreet from now on.", Joker said reassuringly.

"Mr. Joker…", Harleen said but Joker cut him off.

"No mister Joker, it's a little to formal for a guy like me toots."

"Well how about Mr. J?"

"Oh that's so much more pleasant.", his smile wide as a mile. Harleen couldn't suppress her own smile either, she enjoyed seeing his trademark smile.

"It's settled then I'll call you Mr. J from now on."

"Fine by me sweets."

"Do you have a name for me Mr. J?", Harleen was couldn't believe it but she had a crush on the Joker, The Joker of all male mates but she would rather be a man that was actually interesting and funny instead of dull and boring.

"Yes, I do my dear."

"What is it, tell me.", Harleen said with plead.

"Harley Quinn."

"What?"

"You heard me, Harleen Quinzel, reword it a bit and you get Harley Quinn.", Joker said with a straight face. Harleen has rarely seen Joker with a straight face.

"Harley Quinn, I like that."

"I figure you would.", Joker said with a devious smile.

"So."

"Yes Harley?"

"Next week, I'm planning to schedule my sessions with you and learn more about you."

"Well believe me Harley, I'm an open book.", Joker gave Harley a nodding wink which made Harley blush a little.

"I should get home, I have a lot of reports to look over before our first session."

"I'm looking forward to it.", said Joker with a genuine smile.

"Me too.", Harley said with sincerity.

"Goodbye Harley."

"Goodbye Mr. J.", After those words, Harley left the hallway to the exit and couldn't lose her smile. She was going to start her sessions with the Joker. Her heart beat heavier when she talked to him, she felt enlightened speaking with him that brief period of time showing that even a man that is claimed to be clinically insane, he was actually quite sweet and friendly and her smile...oh that smile, It just made her quiver in want. In Harley's apartment, when she took a shower, she let the hot water spray on her clitoris giving her pleasurable moans. She was thinking of the Joker. Soaking wet in both manners, using her fingers to reach new euphoric sensations. She was on the verge of completion when Harley reached immense orgasm. This was a feeling unknown to her and she wanted more. Becoming addicted to the thought of him was becoming like a drug where she couldn't get enough. After her climax she left the shower to go to bed and read more of her future patient until she passed out.

Chapter: 3, Pathos

Harley woke up at 7:45 a.m. and had until 9:00 a.m. to get to Arkham to start her first patient session with the Joker. She wanted to look nice for their first session so after the shower and drying off she put on a red cotton blouse with a black tie with lacing underneath her white doctor coat. She put on a black pencil skirt with a slit down her right thigh. For shoes she put on black stiletto pumps with red backing (it was a special occasion for her). For makeup, she applied some black eyeliner and silver masqara to which the final touches were her favorite, reddish-black lipstick for the finishing touch. And to top it all off, for the hair, she made into a bun to keep the professionalism at hand. She was ready to go and meet her favorite clown.

…

After arriving at Arkham she went into her office to get ready for her first session with the Joker. She was actually kinda nervous, this wasn't like the practice case study at G.U.. This was the real deal. Entering the asylum, Harley was greeted by Dr. Leeland.

"Hello Dr. Quinzel, I hope your ready for this session today. This is definitely a big step towards your professional career."

"You have no idea Dr. Leland.", Harley said in a sort of snarky way. She didn't become a psychiatrist to become a national sensation in the headlines. This was a side conquest when she was younger but during her college experience she learned to focus on the patients and how to cure them, not on how to profit from their suffering.

"Let me let you go to your office to make some last minute preparations before the interview. After you will need to make a file with a detailed summarization of the interview, character analysis, etc., you now the process.", Leland said casually.

"Yes, I'm aware of the tedious paperwork.", said Harley with a smile which Leland also smiled. After the quick chat, Harley went into her office pulling out her notepad and pen, patient file, and analysis paperwork. Three minutes passed and a knock came to the door.

"Who is it?", said Harley nonchalantly, despondent, not paying much attention to the noise.

"Your most favorite patient, doc!", yelled the Joker, he couldn't help but chuckle madly at his own comment. Harley smile widened from his words, she agreed with him in her head without a doubt. She knew she must a certain level of professionalism, these interviews weren't recorded but wanted to take the job seriously, "Kinda hard with treating a patient called The Joker."

"Yes bring in the patient and sit him down please and thank you.", said Harleen. The guard brought in the Joker and chained him up to the patient couch. The guard left the two of them to converse.

"I'll be back in an hour to pick up the patient, if you need to contact us the button is under the desk for emergencies.", the guard implied heavily due to the patient she supposed to "cure".

"Yes, thank you Mr…."

"Cash, Aron Cash.", Cash finished her sentence, replying with a gentle smile. He left the two to converse and now see how their first session goes out, (I have high hopes as the narrator).

"So Mr. J how is your day going so far?"

"Much better toots now that I can talk to someone who will actually listen.", he said with a small grin. Harley responded with a similar grin.

"What do mean?"

"Well you are new here so I'm gonna tell you something, the doctors here don't care much for the patients because of our backgrounds.", he said with such a seriousness that send shivers down her spine.

"I wasn't aware of this mistreatment but I will look into it.", she said with reassurance that calmed Joker down.

"But not to strive away from our discussion, I want to talk about you."

"Ah I feel so special, I do like to think so.", chuckled Joker which made Harleen smile.

"You have a unique smile Mr. J."

"Well it is my prime trademark as well as my fantastic personality." his smile couldn't wider but it did surprisingly.

"So toots do dress this stunning for all your patients or am I just lucky.", said with a sly grin. Harleen blushed but not really embarrassed.

"Well you are my first patient so I wanted to make a good impression.", in truth she dressed for him and is glad he noticed her attire.

"Oh you definitely made an impression on me sweets. I really like the color choices, red and black. It really suits someone like you.", he said with devious smile which made Harley cheeks turn red not helping her.

"What do you mean Mr. J.", she was more interested in what he had to say now. She wanted to know what he thought of her.

"From what I've seen in the past with people I hired, they're clothes were one of the first things I would look at, it shows you what kind of person they are.", said with mild seriousness. He actually changed to a slightly more soothing tone, this made Harley glad he was becoming more comfortable in talking with her.

"Yes but I'm curious about what do you think of me.", Harley wanted to know right now. Her face was getting a little red from the remark.

"Impatient much sweets, I like it. As I were saying, color can have so many meanings. I can tell from the red dress/work shirt you're wearing, I can tell that deep inside of you, you are very passionate, being caring is in your nature.", as he was saying this he was unlocking his restraints. Harley didn't notice his cunning movements but she was entranced in his words.

"But you hide away inside yourself due to never experiencing it back in vice versa.", saying with a sincere smile. He unlocked the restraints but did not reveal it yet, he wanted to finish his words.

"You never felt it back despite it being very emotional internally. There's something deep inside of you that is gnawing at your subconscience. This could be the other reason why you wear black, it's a symbol of submission.", said with slight change of tone, it was devious. Joker sat up from the couch moving closer to Harley. Harleen wasn't fully processing the situation but she quickly acknowledged that the Joker was actually walking to her desk. Her mind was racing at a million miles per hour, she panicked and reached for the red panic button under her desk. Joker knew that this was a possibility. He seized her reaching arm and pulled her to his chest. Harleen was expecting him to kill her, maybe seize her by the neck and snap it. But what had happened was less than expected. The Joker cupped her fearful face and gave her a passionate kiss. Harley was speechless, but she didn't withdraw from it. Harley returned it with such celerity. She was paused in the heat of the moment, time stopped the moment, this was first time Harley felt truly excited. Eventually Joker pulled with a trail of saliva escaping their lips.

"Not bad sweets, I needed that, I'm sure you did too.", Joker said smiling cheerfully.

"You have no idea Mistah J.", Harley blushed realizing what she said.

"What did you say?", he said surprisingly.

"Mistah J.", saying it in a playful tone.

"Yeah, I did not realize you had a accent."

"Yeah, I grew up in Brooklyn but as I got older, I dropped the accent so people would take me more seriously.", said slightly embarrassed making her cheeks blush.

"Well believe me sweets, I find it absolutely adorable.", smirking wickedly as he holded Harley in his arms. They moved over to the couch not letting go of each other. Both starring in each other's eyes and not breaking eye contact.

"Pumpkin?"

"Yes Mistah J?"

"How was your first time with the Ace of Knaves?

"A wonderful start to something beautiful.", said with pure joy.

…


	2. Chapter 2

…

Waking up suddenly on the couch, Harley realized that their session lasted longer than usual. The session was only supposed to last an hour but actually went on for four hours where the interview started at 8 a.m. so being noon already she quickly attempted to sprung out of the Jokers embrace but she couldn't.

"I've never seen you in such a calm state.", said with astonishment as Harley stared at the Clown Prince of Crime. To be a mass murderer with no disregard for human life, he was so handsome while holding her.

"Well this won't be the last time I'll be sleeping with you.", Joker said smoothly, shocking her. Harley was blushing as red as a Balaton cherry from his remark. Joker noticing this making him start a low chuckle.

"I thought you were asleep, Mistah J."

"I don't sleep much sweets, I've been told I have too much energy.", said nonchalantly.

"This was a first for me definitely."

"Me too, I never thought this couch is sooo comfy. Hahahahaha.", Joker's laugh was consumable to Harley to where she giggled with her 'Puddin'.

"Ahh Mistah J you're so wonderful."

"Trust me pumpkin, you have know idea. I'll be sure to make your first time with a clown memorable.", as saying it he began to nibble her ear, teasing her, making her squirm with desire.

"Ouuu Puddin don't tease me.", said Harley trying to fight the urge to rip the Jokers Arkham jumpsuit and ride him cowgirl style on her desk. But she was nervous to continue.

"Puddin?"

"Yeah, it's a nickname I came up with for ya.", saying with uncertainty wondering how he would respond.

"I like it pooh.", Joker saying while tickling his Harley. As Harley chuckled Joker started gentle rubbing her inner thighs. Harley's moans gives him stamina to continue.

"Mistah J our session ended three hours ago. I need to get you back in your cell and prep a thorough synopsis of our first interview before the end of today.", Harley said without confidence. She didn't want this moment to end. This was one of the best days of her life.

"Then might moi suggest you don't include cuddling with a clown on the zi couch."

"Oh believe me Puddin I wouldn't mind going further but….", she said with anxiety.

"But…?", Joker questioned.

"It would be my first time."

"With a supervillain pooh?"

(embarrassed blush)

"Ohhhhh well then.", he said feeling slightly dumbfounded. He didn't realize that his little Harlequin was a virgin and it made him grin a mile wide.

"Yeah I'm a virgin. I've never felt the touch of another man.", saying it lazily while blushing, feeling somewhat ashamed, being 24 and still haven't lost her virginity.

"Don't be embarrassed toots if anything it's even better that you're a virgin.", he said reassuringly.

"Why do you say?"

"Because I would be honored to be your first, Harleen.", his seriousness and understanding was comforting to her making her hold him tighter.

"Awww Puddin thank you for being understanding."

"No problem toots, and you what?

"What?", Harley said curiously.

"Once you go purple, you'll never go back.", he said while rubbing her breasts.

"Mmmmmm, can't wait Mistah J.", said with a lustful tone. She grabbed the Joker's face and pressed her tongue in with his wanting more but she had work to do before she could go further with her favorite clown.

"I'll be sure to make it memorable for you sweets.", Joker picked up his Harley off the couch not breaking their kiss and put her on her feet. He eventually broke the kiss leaving a trail of saliva from their lips.

"I'm looking forward to our next session puddin.", said with a smile and followed by a peck on the lips.

"Me too pooh, next time I'll bring a blanket.", with a low chuckle. Harley joined him.

"Next time, I'll wear something loose.", in a teasing tone.

"Ouuu you little minx."

"Okay Mistah J I'll see you next week for our continuation session of the previous one."

"I'll see you around toots."

"Wait what about the guards?", she questioned while opening the door.

"Their gone, and they wonder how we escape so easily." Just before leaving her office the Joker pulls Harley in one last kiss for the day, the kiss was one of true passion. Leaving her yearning for more.

"Goodbye my dear Harlequin.", heading for the door, but not breaking eye contact.

"Goodbye Puddin.", smiling wide almost as wise as him. Once the door closed and his presence was gone, "I miss him already."

…


	3. Chapter 3

This is still on chapter 3. I'm making this chapter quite long. Thanks for the reviews I really appreciate the feedback and compliments. I hope to bring more chapters soon. Please review and give me insight on how you like the story. Enough rambling back to the story. Hahahahaha.

…

Harleen started typing her report that she had to submit to Dr. Leland. She obviously couldn't share every detail of the interview but when she thought of Joker holding her and sleeping with her literally for hours made her feel this new sensation that she never felt before, it was starting to arise from a simple attraction to something special and exciting. The image of him filled her mind infecting her like a virus. This never happened to her and she wanted more of her puddin. But the thought of not seeing him until next week sounded truly dreadful to her. Not seeing his perfect smile and those defined cheekbones was torture. She wanted to see what was behind his Arkham jumpsuit. From hindsight, Harleen could tell he was well built being 6ft tall. The jumpsuit was a little baggy which made most inmates look lazy. This made Harley wonder if he worked out. Maybe he used the asylum's fitness area. She figured when he picked her up on the couch like she was a feather weighing only 110 lbs. The certainty that he worked out made her quiver a little. Seeing him all sweaty and wet taking her up against the wall made her lick her lips, mouth starting to water craving something hard and salty. It made her questioned if his penis was as white as his perfect face. Harley imagined it being huge due to him being a rather tall individual. Big and throbbing waiting to be sucked. Thinking about it made her wet, noticing that her panties were soaked.

"Dammit not again.", said with disappointment. Now she took them off and put them in her cherry blossomed colored purse. After putting them away, the temptation to start playing with her clit got the best of her. Rubbing her pussy furiously attempting to stifle her moans so she doesn't get caught. Thinking of Joker face fucking her and ravaging her with his cock was enough for her to climax heavily. Squirting with force wishing that she was cumming on his cock while fucking her hard. Immediately after cumming continuously she thought:

"Fuck I need to start bringing paper towels.", she didn't realize the range of her cumshot. Licking her fingers seductively to herself, "Mmmmm cherries." After cleanup she got right back to finishing the report. Once finished she went to Dr. Leland's office to submit it. Handing it to Joan, she asks Harleen how it went.

"Dr. Quinzel how did your first session with the Joker go?"

"It was unexpected but I enjoyed it very much.", said nonchalantly.

"That's good I was afraid that he would try his usual tactic of intimidation to the new doctor."

"Actually he was calm and cooperate. He didn't try to scare me."

"Really?", Joan said with a dumbfounded tone.

"Yeah why?"

"Well it's just his last doctor killed himself after their first session. Apparently that's how much of persuasive person the Joker is. He was handcuffed as well but was still effective in taking a life.

"That was unfortunate for the doctor.", Harley said with no empathy. She thought the last doctor was weak. He couldn't handle the Joker but she could. Her puddin was nothing but compassionate and sweet towards her. Maybe the doctor couldn't handle a joke, but Harley loved his jokes. Snapping out of a trance when Joan purposely coughed.

"Sorry just something on the mind."

"I'm just saying be careful Harleen, you don't what he's capable of, none of us do." After that last remark Harley nodded and walked but lowly muttered to herself, "I have a good idea of what my puddin's intentions are." With that she went back to her office to leave, being 5:00 p.m. Her first day was done and she was tired, sweaty, and happy. Today was the turning point to a new chapter in her life. To be interviewing the most dangerous criminal. Smiling all the way to the parking lot. She got into her scarlet colored Mazda Miata. Being a convertible as well she pulled the top down and drove through Gotham's Black Forest on the way to crossing Gotham River over Wayne Bridge. Finally reaching her apartment, parking the Miata and entering her home, something felt off like someone was in her apartment. Looking around she noticed nothing until after putting away her purse entering her bedroom that there was a rose on her dresser. It had a message folded string around the purple vase. " _Today was fun sweets. I'm looking forward to next week's session. Wear something you don't mind getting ripped up. Your favorite clown-J."_

This made Harley squeal with excitement, "Awww my puddin misses me too. Ugh now I miss him more.", pouting a little. She was later a little shocked how he knew where she lived. "He wasn't lying about knowing everyone in the asylum. Probably knows more than some of the doctors treating them. Anyway at least he knows where I live so he can come here to ride his Harley.", she began to giggle. She needed to decide what to wear for next weeks session. "Hmmmm wear something that I don't mind ruining. I know just the thing that will make Mistah J go insane (like that didn't already happen). I'll also need to buy some toys to make the experience even more wonderful."

Deep down Harley was a girl with kinky tastes and she was gonna show her puddin. Leaving the bedroom and entering the kitchen to make some dinner, opening the fridge she was surprised to see a bottle of wine and box of chocolate. "Ouuuu fancy.", the box had a message as well, " _A box of sweets for my sweet-J."_ Within the box was a set of belgian, german, and swiss chocolates, from white to dark, caramel to fudge, etc.. The wine was a 1947 French Bordeaux, very vintage and very expensive. The wine's hue is like blood if not in a darker shade. There was a note as well, " _I noticed you wear red a lot and you look astonishing in it so this will suit for someone as special as you-J."_

 **...**


	4. Chapter 31

Chapter 3.1: Late Night Snack

Harley's heart swelled immensely, even a small tear appeared, no one has was given her gifts as special as these. "(Sniffle). Ohhhhh Puddin." She definitely wanted to do nothing but just have J with her and hug him with great angst. Obviously she has more in store for Mistah J but she has to wait until next Tuesday, "Fuck I want him, no I need him." Opening the box of chocolates, she starts eating the Belgian ones sensually. Licking and sucking them like she was practicing but for something much longer and with girth. "Hehe.", Harley giggled to herself at the thought of blowing a clown. Granted he was no ordinary clown, he was her's and she's not planning on letting him go. "What time is it?", staring at the cable box, it was 9:45 p.m.. "Wow I can really daydream but time stops when your enjoying the moment.", agreeing with herself she put the box away and grabbed the Bordeaux out of the fridge. In search of a wine glass, she found one the back of the cabinet. Taking it to the sink to rinse it out. Apparently cobb webs formed inside, "What social life?", Harley said redundantly while looking at the cobb webs. "I wish I could enjoy this with my puddin.", said with a dower tone. Leaving the kitchen and heading to the living room.

Throwing off her lab coat, she designated herself onto the couch and turned on the tv. Not knowing what was on she picked her usual alternative, Netflix. An old show she enjoyed watching in college when she had time was Californication on Showtime. Harley uncorked the bottle when the first episode started and poured herself a the first glass. Swirling it like a typical wine connoisseur. First sip is swallowed, "Oh my god that's chewy.", it was the best wine she ever had. The ratio between fruity and earthiness is exquisite. Taking another sip she noticed a hint of oak in the wine. The wine was truly exceptional. She was getting a little ahead of herself, not noticing that she was getting a little intoxicated. "Mmmmmmmmmm that's good wine, I should save the rest for Mistah J and I." Corking the bottle and putting it back in the fridge she realized that it was 11:15 p.m., "I need to get some sleep for work tomorrow at the asylum." Tripping a little while walking to her bedroom, "man that bordeaux went right thru me." Going into the private bathroom in her bedroom while tipsy, almost slipping on the wood paneling, "shit." Undressing and getting in the standing shower. She washes herself but wishes her puddin was there to assist, "I miss you so much Mistah J," talking to herself. "(Unexplained noise)." Hearing it made Harley wonder what it was but she ignored it. Coming out of the shower, she put on a red and black silk revealing nightgown then put her hair in pigtails. Entering the bed through the crimson satin sheets and laying her head on the charcoal colored pillow, say her final final words of that day, "Goodnight Mistah J."

...

1:17 a.m. in the apartment, the living room door opens and a silhouette appears. The silhouette is wearing a fedora and a trenchcoat using walking stick for show. The silhouette goes to the coat rack to place his coat and hat, leans the stick on the wall and heads to the kitchen. Opens the fridge and smirks, "looks like my sweet had her sweets hahaha." Noticing the bordeaux had been opened, his smirk widened. "Ahhh Harley you saved most of it, saving it for later well this will be perfect, my little harlequin." Grabbed the bottle and headed to Harley's bedroom. For ten minutes he just stood in the doorway mesmerized by Harley's sleeping state. "So peaceful and calm with such a perfect smile. I can tell she misses me and to be honest it's in vice versa. Time to show her how much, she does look delicious in that gown. Like a little lamb about to be slaughtered by the big bad wolf hahahahaha." Walking to where he was right next to her, places the rest of the wine on the counter with two of his own glasses. They were victorian like glasses, obviously he stole them but he had reason, the original owners wouldn't be needing them anymore and he wanted some fancy glasses to use for the bordeaux, Harley and him can use them. He leans down, hovering her astonishing face, places a full kiss on her luscious lips, not breaking the connection, Harley's eyes open slowly then suddenly realizing she's awake. She's completely dumbstruck, all the while Joker is still kissing his Harley. He pulls away licking his lips and uttered, "Mmmm tastes like cherries."

"Puuuuuddin", Harley screamed while sitting up to hold her favorite clown. Joker smiling widely seeing his Harley so happy. That's what he yearns to do, to make everyone especially his Harley happy. His surprise was her strength during their hug, slightly crushing but not to overwhelming. But he doesn't care, he just wanted to see her.

"Miss me sweets?", said jokingly hahahahahahaha.

"You have no idea Mistah J.", Harley then kissed the Joker back. "What are you doing here at this hour?", surprised on how he escaped.

"I wanted to see my favorite doctor. I missed you pooh.", Joker said while nibbling on Harley's bottom lip.

"Really Puddin?", Harley staring at him with a insatiable look of yearning affection.

"I would never lie to you and I never will lie to you, you're too special to me.", all the while Harley eyes became glassy. To know that her dear clown missed her so much that he escaped the asylum to see her, it was the most romantic thing that anyone has ever done for her.

"Awww Mistah J you are the most wonderful man I've ever met."

"Well I try, it's hard not too when I'm with you."

"Sooo puddin I saw that you brought me gifts earlier in the day.", Harley remarked while looking at the bottle of bordeaux.

"Well I didn't want to come empty handed, that's just not polite.", said Joker all the while kissing his Harley from the end of her bed. Continuing the kiss, Harley starts to undress him.

"What I want you to do to me won't be polite Mistah J." Taking off his suit coat and untying his tie he can't stop but admire her beauty.

"You are astonishingly easy on the eyes sweets." Joker picks up Harley by her ass and pushes by wall, devouring her mouth with such ferocity. Harley is so wet and wants nothing more than to be fucked by her puddin.

"You're quite the looker yourself." Throwing off his shirt and noticing his tone muscular exterior.

"What can I say, I'm a charmer hahaha." Joker started rubbing her breasts making Harley moan. He thought if it would be more satisfying connecting through skin on skin contact. Pulling off her nightgown seeing her luscious breasts made him immediately suck her nipples like they were hershey kisses. This made Harley's gasp in surprise. She was soaking and Joker knew it.

"Hmmm I thought my pants were wet."

"You should take them off puddin, I want to see your throbbing cock." Joker throwing her to the bed, Harley is now confused. He twiddles his index finger mockingly.

"Ah Ah Ah pumpkin, I can't do all work by myself, show me how much you want it." With those words Harley began seductively undoing his belt and pulls down his pants leaving J's boxers left. The boxer's were loose but she could tell that Mistah J was excited. Not knowing how big he actually was she wanted to find out. Starting to pull Joker's purple and green checkered print boxers down to his knees, J tilted Harley's head up to face him.

"What's the magic word pooh?"

"Please Daddy.", said Harley seductively kissing him. Nodding in approval, Harley replied, "Thanks Daddy." Pulling down quickly Harley was smacked in the face by the Joker's penis. Gasping at shock but also at the size of his cock, had not only length but girth as well.

"It's so big and throbbing. Fuck this is gonna hurt feeling your massive cock in my tight wet pussy."

"Ohh you have know idea Harley.", said Joker with a low chuckle, eagerly awaiting to taste his Harley.

 **...**


	5. Chapter 3,2

Chapter 3.2: Climax

Harley starts tugging Jokers massive cock, she couldn't believe how white it was. The veins that ran down his pole were a light purple hue, ironic huh. Needing to lubricate it, Harley spits on J's cock and rubs his tip clockwise.

"Ohh fuck Harley this feels incredible." Joker never felt a euphoric sensation such as this, granted he doesn't remember a lot since his accident. So in a way this was his first time since his rebirth and he didn't want it to end. Feeling so good and she didn't even blow the can of snakes. But he brought more than just wine and chocolates but his Harley will find out later in their love making.

"Does that feel good puddin?", said Harley mockingly with a wide smirk on her face. She knew that he was enjoying it. Rubbing his shaft made her quiver in her hips. She wanted it in her pussy but she knew that patience is a virtue. She knew the next step to satisfaction in this situation.

Stopping suddenly, Joker confused at her abrupt stop. She remarks,"Want to fuck my tits Mistah J." After that was said, the Joker ripped Harley's top of her nightgown. Revealing her exposed breasts, Harley blushed by his actions but also by him seeing her breasts fully for the first time.

"You are perfect my sweet. How can a women be so breathtaking?"

"They have someone that they care for on an emotional and physical level.", said while the Joker suck her nipples, left then right and right to left . Groping her breasts made Harley bit her lower lip. Trying to handle herself but her beloved clown is making her want to cum multiple times.

"You couldn't be more right pumpkin." Joker puts his cock between her magnificent breasts. She started moaning as he fucked her tits with such ferocity. Her boobs weren't the biggest but 36 double d's were able to somewhat contain his monster. Getting a little dry, she spit on his cock but some oil was needed.

"Pooh where do you keep the body oil?", said Joker but not quitting his thrusting movements.

"Ugh in the dresser puddin." Joker stopped to get the oil. Harley made a little pouting sound. She wanted to continue getting tity fucked by her clown.

"No pouting sweets."

"Come back daddy."

"Ohh I will and you will too." Both laughed at his remark. Arriving back to his Harley, he opened the top and squirted an obscene amount of oil on her breasts. Rubbing them made her wail with lust. Her noises were music to his ears and couldn't get enough of it. He inserts his cock between her divine tits. Harley enjoying her puddin fucking her boobs she grabs her breasts and starts rubbing them against his penis making him moan with delight.

"Fuck Harley, for being a virgin you are quite talented with my shaft."

"What can I say, I've fantasized about sucking your massive cock daddy." With those words said, Harley wrapped her mouth around the Jokers meatpole. She was sucking it as he continued to fuck her breasts.

"Mistah J your cocks tastes delicious. I'm looking forward to the cream filling."

"Don't worry pooh you'll receive a filling." Joker pulls her to him, kissing her with full tongue devouring her. She's loving the affection, to feel so connected to him. Harley on her knees continuing to blow her joker. Joker thrusts hard and gains speed as he hears her gagging on his flagpole. Keeping it in her throat for ten long seconds before she almost suffocated on his manmeat. She coughed heavily while Joker was laughing.

"What's the matter baby, can't handle my shaft." Harley gave the Joker a tongue and was determined to deepthroat the clown. Jerking his cock, easy with the oil, she immediately swallowed J's cock. This made Joker relish in pleasure, feeling her warm mouth around his shaft. She lasted 20 long seconds, she did it for him, she would do anything for Mistah J.

"How's that puddin?", said smiling deviously.

"Perfect Harleen." Harley was touched by his approval. He flipped Harley on her back to the bed.

"I'll show you how much I appreciate your effort pooh." He was shown her panties, they were harlequin patterned red and black (of course). Pulling them down seductively, was shown her pussy. He licked his lips with want and Harley notice making her dripping a little.

"What's this you're soaking wet. I'll just have to clean up the mess." He starts licking Harley's clit making her ecstatic.

"Yes Mistah J keep licking my pussy."

"I'll do more than that." He starts pressing his tongue deeper into her vagina making Harley scream with immense satisfaction.

"Oh god puddin fuck, keep eating out your Harley." Feeling his tongue inside her was indescribable, just imagine his cock inside her. She's shoving his head deeper in her pussy in the heat of the moment. To reaction he starts blowing inside her walls. She's biting her lip to the point blood was appearing. Her pussy can't wait anymore.

"Mistah J I'm about to cum.", on the brink of climaxing he remarks "Be a good girl and cum Harley, cum for daddy." She immediately squirts like a fire hydrant, spraying all over the place. The Joker gets caught in the spray a little.

"PUDDIN", screaming in orgasm but their not finished with their romp.

"Stay on your back," said darkly. "I want to feel you." Grabbing his cock he rubs it against her pussy making her beg.

"Please shove your huge cock in my soaking wet pussy daddy."

"Well you asked so nicely." He rammed his shaft in her cunt making her about to come all over again.

"Your so big daddy."

"Ah fuck Harley you're so tight.", feeling his dick being squeezed in a vice. Thrusting with much effort he feels the sense of a climax.

"Dam"

"What daddy?", said Harley worried that he's done with their romp.

"I'm about to cum but I'm not finished yet."

"Don't worry Mistah J this won't be the last time you get to ride your little Harley."

"You'll receive the cream filling sweets."

"Yay." Joker continuing to fuck Harley, the can of snakes is about to burst. He's enjoying the blissfulness of his new doctor very much.

"I'm cummming.", said Joker as he filled his Harley with a massive load of jizz in her pussy. Just as was said Harley also cummed again making them cum in unison.

"Ugh god puddin your hot load in my tight cunt is so hot." She grabbed his pole and sucked any residual cum off of it. A devious little grin appears on her face as she sucks the night deed off of his taint.

"Did I do good daddy?"

"You did it fabulously, pooh." He shoved his fingers in her one last time for tonight. Pulling them out they were covered in his baby batter. He moved his fingers to Harley to where she sucked each finger individually and seductively slurping down his spunk.

"Mmmm taste so good Mistah J. Tastes salty and a little oily. I want more." She goes for a quick tug on his flaccid flagpole in an attempt to get another load of clown cum but this time on her face.

"Careful what you wish for." J's cock has gained momentum again as Harley didn't expect him to get fully erect so soon.

"My poor poor pussy." said Harley as Joker shoved his massive cock in Harley's bruised pussy.

...


	6. Chapter 3,3

Chapter 3.3: Cuddle Time

After the second time they fucked, both were entangled in each other's arms. They couldn't stop staring at each other. They felt complete with each other. Neither one of them breaking face while smiling at one another.

"That was nice.", said Joker with sincerity in his voice making Harley tear with happiness.

"Yes it was Mistah J.", kissing J on the lips. He returns it with swiftness. Neither one could seem to pull away. It was like both were emotionally locked with each other. Like they needed the other to enjoy life as it were just now, being together in her bed entangled and naked.

Harley wanted to say something to him but wasn't sure how he would respond. Never saying those words to anyone but her family members this would be a new experience for her. But being here together and what they done with the connections they had in the past she knew he would return those words with no hesitance.

"Puddin.", Harley said with a little hesitation but he didn't notice.

"Yes pumpkin.", still not breaking eye contact. His smile and vibrant green eyes made her feel calm and full inside.

"I love you.", within less than a second he replied.

"I love you too Harleen.", later followed by the most passionate kiss she ever received from but this time it was from the love of her life. Her heart ached for him and for him to return that ach, her heart expanded with his love.

"Awwwww puddin you are the most wonderful man in the world."

"Well I try sweets. What can moi say, you make me see the world a little differently. Granted the world hasn't been the same since the incident but I thought I didn't need anyone to make laughs with for a long time. Even with me sprawling around this atrocious city full of people who don't see the humor in anything, especially Batman. Now I realized that there's finally someone who enjoys my humor and accepts me for who I am. Someone that I can share my knowledge of quips and puns, someone I can actually relate to, someone I can love. And I wouldn't trade anything in the world for feeling that special to me. I love you with all my heart my dear little Harley Quinn."

Harley was completely destroyed by his words but in a happy manner. Her heart swelled even more by what he said. To have her Joker spill out that little speech of love and need for her, she immediately started to break down and cry.

"Oh Mistah J. (sniffle) that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.", said trying to stifle her weeps.

Holding his Harley tighter to calm her down. "Shhh there there daddy's here. It's fine baby just let it all out I'm here for you in thick and thin."

"(Small cries of happiness)."

Petting her pigtails in an attempt to calm her down, he started to kiss her neck and lick her left earlobe which made her silent and aroused a little. Lifting her face to meet him. "I see some blush but no smile, don't worry I know how to fix that. He quickly gets on top of her and faces down to her stomach. He then blows air into her belly button making her giggle playfully.

"Ahh there's that smile I would kill for.", continuing to blow air into her belly button, Harley was getting hysterical. She attacked her puddin playfully to make his smile widen to the point his face might break. She tickles him making him chuckle loudly. He tries to stop her but he's enjoying this moment to much to stop.

"Ahh and there's my favorite smile that makes me quiver with want.", she kissed him passionately with desire. She could never get enough of his affection.

"My Harley."

"My Puddin."

Holding each other in a locking position until the sun rises fully not breaking eye contact still. It was a moment that millions yearn for but never get, to have someone they can truly connect, someone to understand, someone to love with all their heart. It's a feeling that can't be trumped, it overwhelms its victims like an infection making them helpless to passion. Whether you're known as a psychopathic clown with no regard for human life, she never saw it in his eye's. She only saw a man who makes her laugh, who makes her feel whole, who makes believe she found her one and only.

In his mind he couldn't feel any different. Looking at her beautiful baby blues he sees someone who's been awakened, his Harley. Of course she's attractive with a seemingly stunning structure but he notices the compassion she shows him, to not be scared of his obvious features and not running for the hills. To actually listen to him with curiosity and not fear. Not preventing his gift of spreading laughter and joy to the citizens of Gotham but actually support his intentions. This is not some dame to him, this is someone he can respect, someone he can admire, someone he can love.

"I love you my dear Harley Quinn."

"I love you my precious puddin."

"Wanna have breakfast with the clown prince of crime?"

"That would lovely Mistah J."

They shared a long eskimo kiss then an actual kiss. Joker got out of bed but quickly picked up Harley which surprised her.

"Mistah J?"

"Your knight in purple armor to escort you to the kitchen ma lady.", Harley giggled to his gesture but didn't fight his proposal, she would never refuse him. Joker taking her to the kitchen they made breakfast together naked. Granted the oil had a little delay in the process due to Joker "accidentally" squirting some on Harley's breasts. She seductively grabbed the sausage and started nibbling. Rubbing her breasts to have the oil explore her voluptuous boobs. She grabbed the oil as use for extra lubricant for the sausage. She started deepthroating it which J squirm in delight.

"Sweets you really know what gets me going."

"You got that right puddin.", said while using her thumb to his massive tip.

"Fuck."

"We already did that.", Harley said winking.

"Not in the kitchen." He picked up Harley and propped her on the kitchen sink to give her the morning sausage. Entering her she moans instantaneously.

"Fuck puddin give me that oily dick."

"Anything for you sweets." Ramming his cock in her soaking and now oily pussy, she's so calling in sick today. She is going to be even more sore but it was worth it.

"Oh god Harley you're so tight." Feeling his cock being squeezed into a vice from her tight pussy. He felt his climax coming so he speed with more thrust to make his Harley cum as well.

"I'm gonna cum sweets."

"Ugh me to daddy, cum in my tight pussy." That being said both climaxed. Joker giving her his seed which she accepted like a good girl. Feeling his hot batch of spunk inside her was turning her on again but they needed to make breakfast first. When Joker pulled out a heavy amount of sperm came out as well. Harley was quick to catch most of it in the palm of her hands.

"Wanna finish that pooh?" He said smirkingly.

"Yes daddy." She poured the handful of his jizz into her mouth and swallowed. She loved the taste of his pudding. He stared at her and laughed loudly.

"What?"

"You're turned on again aren't you?" She nodded in response and he kissed her deeply.

"Don't worry pumpkin, after breakfast the day is ours."

"Really puddin?" Her eyes lit up in hope.

"Of course beautiful, We have the day to run a muck if you desire but I already know the answer."

"Yes you do Mistah J, yes you do." Smiling deeply at each other then they actually dance a little in the kitchen just because when you're in love, you never need a reason.

...


	7. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Daytime with beloved

"How's the omelette my love?" Both were eating the breakfast the Joker had made with Harley's help. Harley wasn't much of a cook so having her sweetie make them breakfast was very sweet and lovely of him.

"It's delicious puddin, I didn't know you were such the chef."

"Well that's what happens when your on your own for years sweets. You learn a lot but experience is gained from it. Don't worry pumpkin, I'll help you learn a thing or two."

"Thank you Mistah J." She kissed him on the cheek, he returned it gladly.

"So J?"

"Yes Harley?"

"Did you remember who you were before….I mean before the incident?" She asked with hesitance knowing this was a grey area for him. He froze for a few minutes which made her nervous. "Puddin?" She reaches to touch him.

"I'm not sure Harley." His sudden movement shocked her. "Sorry pooh I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine puddin it's just you were unresponsive for a little bit."

"I know, that happens when I get flashbacks."

"Flashbacks?"

"Yes, there hazy but I see them at random. I sometimes see people I don't recognize but I remember a place that smelled like acetone and steel."

"That must be difficult."

"Well it used to be but I learned to live with it."

"Ohh." She said lowly.

"But I also have you now my dear doctor and I'm loving it." He said proudly, kissing her.

"Aww puddin, I'm loving it too." She kissed him back.

"So pumpkin how's about we hit the town after breakfast?"

"Where would you suggest we go Mistah J?"

"I don't know, how's the Iceberg Lounge sound."

"Really? I always wanted to go but it's so exclusive and private."

"Well believe me sweets, I'm an executive customer." Joker kissed her chin, "But if we're going to a club like that, we need to look exquisite."

"But Mistah J, I don't exactly have an outfit to wear at a place that fancy."

"Don't worry pumpkin, I know where to find a dress that will make every man in Gotham cry with jealousy."

"Aww puddin, I'm so lucky to have a guy as generous as you."

"And don't you forget it toots, hahaha."

They finished their breakfast and got dressed. Harley couldn't stop staring at her puddin. He looked so stunning in his signature purple suit. This was actually the first time she saw him like this, the only other time was on the television during his heists. His attire made her a little wet actually. Joker noticed her staring, "What can I say I'm irresistible.", said chuckled.

Harley kisses him, "Yes you are Mistah J."

"Well pooh let's get going, the Royce is ready."

"Wait you have a Rolls Royce?"

"Yes, it's one of the many vehicles I own but it's less noticeable than the Maserati." Harley looked out the window to see a pitch black Rolls Royce parked outside of her building door.

"Damn Mistah J you are quite wealthy."

"Oh you haven't seen nothing yet sweets." Grabbing her and kissing her mouth. She moaned in delight. Pulling away, "Let's go pumpkin."

"Yes puddin."

They headed out towards the door. Joker grabbed his trenchcoat, cain, and fedora to cover his face. Walking out the building they were greeted by the driver of the Rolls.

"Good morning boss, congrats on escaping from Arkham again. The gang is waiting for your arrival back to the fun house." Joker frowned a little by his blatant disregard for his guest.

"Vince, it's not polite to ignore the presence of a young lady."

"My apologies boss, I didn't realize you had a friend accompanying you today."

"Well Vince life is unpredictable but it's not always a bad thing." He said while tickling Harley a little.

"Vincy this is my dear Harley Quinn, Harley Quinn this is Vince. He's been my driver since the beginning. One of the originals who are still alive, hahaha."

"Nice to meet you Vince." Shaking hands with Vince, he replies: "It's a pleasure Ms. Quinn."

"Now Vincy, did you get the message I've sent yesterday."

"Yes sir, and it looks like Winston is available today for your arrival. He also told me that he can also do a custom fitting for her but it will cost extra."

"Honestly when is money ever an issue?"

"Well there was…."

"I was speaking rhetorically."

"Sorry sir, so shall I take you two to Winston's?"

"Yes, that would be great." Vince opened the door for them both. He then entered the driver seat and speed down the street.

"Vince not to fast, I don't need the GCPD on my ass already."

"Yes sir." Joker pushed the divider button so he could talk to his Harley.

"Mistah J?"

"Yes Harley?"

"Who's Winston?"

"Winston is a very old friend of moi. He has a specialty in tailoring, the best in the city. Most of his clientele is Gotham's rogue gallery but hell, he makes good business. His subtlety to his clients information is what keeps him alive, that and he has the most unique collection of fabrics to choose from."

"He must have great taste."

"Yes well I haven't meet a gay guy who hasn't, hahahaha."

"So Mistah J after the fitting where are we going next?"

"Now pumpkin if I would tell but that will ruin the surprise. Be patient my love, it will be worth it." He said with a passionate kiss to follow.

"Yes Mistah J."

They drove deep into the Bowery district, most of the rouge's gallery had clientele and specialists that earned quite lucrative earnings from them. Winston was the man to know for custom attire. The shop was simply called Fabulous. It was a small building on the corner of Otisburg Road and Narrow Boulevard. It was painted black and grey with a maroon neon sign attached to the window which titled all sizes are welcome, it sort of gave a hipster vibe to the atmosphere.

"All sizes are welcome? Huh is the sign meaning…."

"Well it's kinda a two way road sweets. Think whatever you like, but I know what you're thinking right now."

"Really, then what?"

"What to expect when we walk inside that door. Ohh and my size is always welcome, hahahaha."

"You got that right puddin.", she kissed him. They arrived to Fabulous and entered through the door. Harley was dumbstruck by the environment around her. There was so many different types of fabrics, from silk to cashmere and nylon to polyester, all ranging from multiple hue's. Fitting rooms to the nine's, apparently the building was much larger from the inside. The decor gave a Great Gatsby vibe mixed with a little Radiohead. Actually they were playing the Rainbow album at the time. The two were welcomed by a little filipino man in an Armani three piece suit in a smoky grey hue.

"Good morning sir and miss, do you have an appointment with Winston himself?"

"Yes we do my good man. It's under the name of Mr. White because duh." pointing at his powder white skin.

"Of course Mr. Joker, my mistake it was the hair that confused me." The man replied with moderate sarcasm. "I see you have a lady friend, what's the occasion?"

"We're going to the Iceberg Lounge today to show off my special gal." He swirled his Harley in a circle and she made a giggle to his signs of pda.

"Excellent sir, I'll let Mr. Fabolous know you two are ready."

"Thanks." The little man left to notify Winston. The couple we're waiting for his arrival.

"Mr. Fabulous really?" Harley said lazily.

"I know what gave it away, the Elton John playing in the background or the hot pink David replica next to the vibrant green flamingos."

"But you call him Winston."

"I give him excellent business. I also invested in his company a few years back so I get some special perks." He said with a low chuckle.

"I'm curious to know what I'll look like after this experience."

"You'll look the same, breathtaking."

"Awww Mistah J." They kissed for a couple minutes. A man eventually coughed to break their kiss. They turned to him and there he is, Mr. Fabulous.

"Helloooo, aren't you two such a lovely couple."

...


	8. Chapter 4,1

Chapter 4.1: Fittings

"Winston." Shouted Joker as he hugged his dear business associate. Winston was an middle age Englishman from Liverpool. He was average height of 5'7", dressed in a luxurious baby blue suit. Joker invested in his business when he arrived to Gotham, not knowing anyone at the time, he couldn't refuse a helping hand.

"What can I do for you lovebirds today?" Winston asked saucily with his hand on his hip, examining his perfectly manicured nails.

"Hahaha, Winston, we need a custom tailored gown for my lovely Harley Quinn here." Joker laughed, extravagantly twirling his blushing female companion. "Only the best for my Harley".

looked at Harley, glancing up and down. "32 inch bust, 18 inch waist, 27 inch hips. I can have this done in a flash, honey bun!" Harley's jaw dropped, letting go of her Puddin's hand and looking at WInston with wide eyes.

"How did you knoooow?" Harley asked incredulously. Everything that the flamboyant tailor had said was completely correct.

"After 13 years in this business, sugar plum, I can tell everything about everyone's body with one look!" He looked slyly over to the front of the Joker's pants, then look back over to his new female client and winked. Harley giggled, clasping her Puddin's arm. Winston had definitely made a great first impression, and she knew they would most likely be friends in the future.

"Enough girl talk, you too. Hahaha!" Joker smiled and hugged his Harley, kissing her forehead before looking over at . "I have some things to tend to in the city very quickly, so I'll leave you two to the fitting. She looks stunning in red and black."

Harley gave Joker a worried look, pouting at this news of him leaving. "You'll be fine, sweets, don't worry. I'm just making preparations for our outing and a surprise I have planned for you later. I know Winston will treat you right." He kissed his love, shook 's fabulous hand, and strolled out of the building with confidence. "I'll be back in about an hour, Harley! If you need me before then, just give me a call. Winston has my number."

"Sooooo, time to get you razzlin', dazzlin', and ready to party! Come on cupcake, let's start with lingerie!" Winston let go all airs of professionalism and took Harley's hand, leading her into one of the back rooms as if they had been friends for years.

"So Mr. Fabulous…" She was interrupted immediately by the man's velvet nylon gloved index finger.

"Sweet pea please call me Winston. Any friend of Jay is a friend of mine but in this case I believe looover rolls off the tongue better." He winked at Harley to which she winked back. They both laughed at their silliness but hey it's a start to a beautiful friendship.

"It does, what can I say Winston I love the man. He makes me see the humor in life I thought I loss a long time ago. My heart aches every time I don't see him. I feel complete when he holds me and doesn't let go. To know he loves me makes me beatific and I don't want it to stop."

Harley didn't notice that Winston shed a couple tears, not of sadness but of joy. "I'm sorry Winston, I didn't mean to make you upset."

"No it's fine sugar I just get a little emotional at such beautiful words." He hugged her to which she accepted it.

"You know true love doncha Winston?"

"Yes Harley I had. His name was Lamichael, such a generous individual. We meet at Oxford during our early years. I majored in fashion design and he majored in social sciences. We shacked in a little apartment in Winchester for a couple years. He showed me the bright side of life and how someone so special can make even the most dower man smile. I woulda gave my live for him no matter what. Unfortunately life doesn't follow by your schedule. He was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. I was with him until the end and he never broke down emotionally. He always kept the warm smile I feel in love with. Even as I stood as his bedside when he breathed his last breath, he looked at me and said, "I love you.", said with a cheery smile before his heartbeat ended. But to make a long story short yes, I know what true love is. I still think about his everytime I wake up from bed."

Harley shed a few tears from his words. He immediately grabbed a hanky from his suit coat and gave it to her.

"Thanks Winston." Blowing into it.

"No problem honey. Follow me." He showed her the fitting room, it was so luxurious. It looked like Jay Gatsby's private office. "Now we will give you fitting's for the lingerie and don't worry sugar plum it's on me because you're so sweet and understand."

"Thank you very much." She was really enjoying today and excited that her puddin said there's more to come including going to the Iceberg Lounge for dinner. She perked up at the thought of being with Mistah J again and giggled because of them doing the lingerie fitting."

"Now from my experience with fitting Jay, I can tell that he's a dominant man in the bedroom so we'll want something that's easy to rip off you." He winked to which she remarked, "Ahh you dog but you are right my puddin can be a little rough but hey I've got some kinky tastes."

"Ohh I'm the dog? You dirty clown girl."

"You're not wrong. Hahahaha."

He fitted her with a sexy crimson corset exposing and giving her a bigger bust. Slim fitting black suede stocking. Along with a pair of scarlet, high open toed pumps giving her height but she knew it her Jay would still cast a shadow over her. Custom forearm length gloves in a blood red hue. Winston created a thin black mask to conceal her intentions.

"Ouuu Mistah J isn't go know what hit him."

"I probably get a bonus from this."

"Trust me Winston you will. And I'll be the winner and receive my big prize."

"Big indeed girlfriend. You're not the only one to see the man without the suit but I won't tell if you don't."

"You are such a slutty girl." Harley smacked Winston playfully to which he replied, "It happens naturally."

They continued with fitting the dress but you'll have to wait and see at the Iceberg Lounge.

Joker came back from his errands. Apparently four hours have passed and it was 1:00 p.m.. He entered Fabulous and said,

"Hoooooney I'm home." Harley ran and jumped into his arms.

"PUDDIN.", snuggling with her clown and purring even.

"Awww did my Harley have a good time?"

"Yes sweetie, Winston is an amazing stylist. It was so much fun."

"I'm glad, Winston is everything ready?"

"Yes Jay they are and believe me when I say you are a lucky man."

"Trust me Wincy I know, thank you for the fittings."

"My pleasure Jay. She'll be ready for your nightly events, both of them.", he said saucily. All of them laughed.

Joker and Harley turned to the exit in humor. "Have a fantastic day you love birds."

"Thanks again Winston.", Harley said as both left the store in plan for the next stop on the this gracious day together, her with the love of her life.

...


	9. Preparations

Chapter 4.2: Preparations

As the Rolls Royce was driving down Bristol district in lower North Gotham, inside in the back Joker and Harley were in each other's embrace. Joker had Harley on his lap. She was a little sleepy even though it was afternoon, (considering the pounding she got this morning before and after breakfast. Not to mention doing a project runway fitting with a high maintenance Mr. Fabulous). He didn't notice she was napping because he was in such a trance with her. He loves her so much, can't get enough of his little harlequin. Starting to kiss her luscious lips it wakes her up. Her eye's lit up like fireworks, she returns it heavily with angst.

"I'm sorry did I wake you? Hahahaha." Chuckling together she winks.

"Well Mistah J I love it when you kiss me."

"So how pumpkin's day going so far?"

"It's magical puddin. I felt like such a princess in my beautiful dress."

"I bet pooh. Let daddy see it."

"Not yet daddy.", she said playfully. "You'll have to wait until dinner." She kissed him lightly to tempt him. It was working by feeling his monster through his suit pants.

"Mmmm you little tease." He was getting harder as she started grinding against his cock.

"Daddy you're so big." She rubbed her hand against the poly-cotton blend covering her lovers massive shaft.

"Ohh you are so getting it tonight for teasing me. You will be sore after I'm done with you."

"I'm already sore Mistah J. Shoving your pole in me is so tight and so pleasurable. It will take a while until I'm used to your penis."

"Well practice makes perfect I always say." Joker chuckled with a low tone. He groped Harley's ass making her moan. Thank god the screen divider was up.

"Daddy." She said in a whiny tone.

"Pooh." He said mockingly. Still continuing to play with her ass. Harley was tempted to ride his pole but she showed restraint. Jumping off his lap he complained obviously.

"Harley you are such…..", His voice was silenced by Harley's yearning mouth. Joker couldn't complain anymore being connected to his Harley.

"Just be patient puddin. It will be worth it I promise. What I have for you tonight, you won't want to leave the apartment."

"I never want to leave you Harley, I can't get enough of you."

"Awww Jay."

"It's the truth baby. You are the most special girl in the world and you bring extra meaning to my humor now." Harley kisses him deeply with so much passion.

"You are so riding your Harley tonight puddin."

"I was planning on it pooh." The two just held each other not wanting to ever let go. The car stopped near the end of Bristol district. The building was a old mid-century gothic design townhouse. It was in great shape for its age. The stonework was impeccable to say the least. Joker and Harley exited out of the car. She was a little confused at where they were but she knew Jay would fill in as always, ha.

"Mistah J, where are we?"

"One of my various hideouts in this down spiral city of ours sweets, hahahaha."

"Ohh it's so elegant and fancy baby." Joker was staring at her and licked his lips.

"Yes it is." He quickly picked her up bridal style into the townhouse. Joker yells to Vince.

"Just drive, I'll call you when we're ready."

"Sure thing boss." Vince automatically drove down the street and didn't stop. Joker entered his hideout with his Harley in his arms. The hideout looked renovated and very modern.

Purple and green walls obviously. Clown material for decor and theme. A nice shatuo but it could use a woman's touch.

"How much money do you have Mistah J?"

"I've honestly lost track.", he chuckled a bit and she joined in. "So pooh, you like my shindig sweets?"

"Very much so, I love the clown setting."

"Well I should take you to my loft next time."

"You have a loft?" Harley said a little surprised.

"Ohh yes, I will have to show you it sometime." He kissed her, inhaling her entirely. Drawing away to catch her breath.

"Mmmm I would love that."

Joker carries Harley into the bedroom, lays her gently on the king bed like she was the delicate thing in the world. He pulls her in for another kiss on the lips. Tongue is fully used in the connection between lovers. Minutes pass by, time is non-existence when the two were intimate. He pulls away, "I have a gift for you my love."

"Awww puddin, you didn't have to you've already given me so much."

"Well I never had someone to enjoy my jokes and laughter. I just want to show you much I love and appreciate you."

"I love and appreciate you to Jay. You are the most important man in the world to me."

"Close your eyes.", said smoothly and with calmness.

"Yes puddin."

He left the room for a couple of minutes. She grew giddy with angst. It was getting to the point where the bed was shaking. She heard footsteps coming in the room and her smile widened.

"Open your eyes pooh." There was a semi-loud chuckle to his command. She opened her eyes to which her jaw dropped quickly. Jumping on the bed repeatedly made Joker laugh. It was a pretty gift wrapped red box with a black bow. She had her eyes glazed to the box.

"Well? Open it beautiful." Grabbing it out of Jay's hands. She ripped the the colorful wrapping paper to show the naked box to be the color of violet with vibrant green tape. It had a message attached to it. "To my dear little harlequin."

A few tears were shed from just the message, "Aww Mistah J." Opening the naked violet box showed a black metal container. She opened it and it glowed brightly in her eyes. They were wide as can be. A harlequin blood diamond necklace made with titanium and rose gold. A pair of matching earrings to go with it made this a perfect addition to her dress and also the lingerie, hahaha. Speechless, all she can do was grab her beloved clown by the collar and throw him to the bed with her laying on top of him and covering him in kisses.

"You like pooh?"

"I love it but I love you more Mistah J."

"Ohh I love you more pumpkin."

"Nuuuuu"

"Yesssss."

"Well I love you mostest." She starts untying his bowtie.

"Mmmmm, I know you do sweets. I'll show you how much I love you." He pulled up her shirt and started rubbing her breasts through the bra.

"Ouuu daddy." She rips the bra off to which he began sucking her nipples with intense passion.

"Like that pooh?"

"Yessss puddin. I always like it when you suck my nipples. God you have such a long tongue."

"It's a gift sweets." After playfully sucking her tits he grops her tight round ass.

"Wanna eat out your Harley daddy?", said in a teasing tone.

"I wouldn't have it any other way toots." Pulling down her pants he sees her red silk panties. She pulls them down showing her neatly trimmed pussy. Joker licks his lips with desire, to taste her was truly orgasmic. He lowered himself on top of Harley. He kissed her down lower and lower to the point he kissed her clit sending a massive wave of pleasure through her nervous system.

"Ouu fuck puddin that feels good."

"So will this." He starts to lick Harley's soaking wet pussy, all the while Harley is screaming in pleasure.

"Oh god, Fuck."

"Be patient pumpkin, you'll get the pole."

"Yayyy." Continuing to play with his Harley, he begins to undress himself. Harley notices and starts to assist, (she wants to be fucked by her clown so bad). Everything was thrown off except his pants. The anticipation was killing her. He noticed her yearning face and he chuckled.

"Want my shaft Harley?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes daddy."

"Good girl. You shall receive la cock." He pulled his pants down seductively, all the way down and there it was. Harley's mouth watered at the sight of his meatpole. It was so big and throbbing just waiting to be sucked and fucked. She wanted it rammed in her pussy. Their first time was so magical and euphoric. His beast destroyed her, she had a hard time getting up that following morning. It's just that moment he filled up her tight little cunt with his spunk, she knew she could never get enough of his love. Grabbing his shaft and tugging it some he point's it at her.

"Want to lube it up so it fits in easier honey?"

"Sure thing baby." She grabbed the snake to which she tugged but at the same time spitting on the head to lube it. Joker then shoved it in her mouth without warning but she didn't withdraw, she took in his beast. Swallowing his cock to the point of gagging on the pole, Joker hissed.

"God damn that feels great." Harley continuing to gobble on his rock hard cock Joker began rubbing her clit with his hand. Later he fingered her with such ferocity. She screamed his name.

"Oh puddin."

"Want it Harley?"

"Mmhmm," nodding with angst.

"Time to fill the hole." Shoving his lubricated dong in her wet cunt, she's in heaven. It still hurts like a mother but she doesn't care, she want's daddy's dick.

"Ugh fuck, you have my dick in a vice, toots."

"Well, you should fuck me more often."

"Oh believe me sweets I will. You'll learn to adjust to my bleach colored dick."

"It's so throbbing puddin."

She pulls her leg up to give him a better view of her pussy. There was a gaping hole in her pussy. It's still warm and moist. She grabs his pole and sucks for a minute. Then she forces it into her pussy to which both moan in pleasure.

Thrusting continues for a good hour with Harley climaxing over and over again. Joker was happy his little doctor is a squirter. He still hasn't cumed yet and she was begging for it.

"Cum for me daddy." She cumed so much now she wants to taste his.

"Time to fill up my Harley." Continuing to thrust deeper in her vagina, he's on the verge of climaxing.

"Oh fill me up with your cum daddy."

"Here I CUM!" Joker filling Harley with his baby batter, she cums one more time before she passes out from the orgasmic sensation.

"Oh don't go to sleep yet toots, we still have that dinner to attend to."

"Yes Mistah J." She yawned a little. She took Jay penis in her mouth and sucked it clean.

"Tastes good."

"I bet pooh. Your a delicacy I can't get enough of."

"Thank you sweetie." Jay looked at the clock and saw it was 4:30 p.m..

"Come here beautiful," Harley jumped into the Joker's arms with much affection.

"We'll have a late dinner, say 8:00 p.m.. Does that work for pumpkin?"

"Do we get to cuddle?" Her eyes were so wide.

"Yes princess." His response made her scream with giddiness.

"Yaaayyy." She kissed him repeatedly.

"Hahaha, my dear harlequin."

...


	10. Dining with Puddin!

Three hours later….

Together in their bed, they were holding each other not wanting to let go. Their bond was so strong that it will never be broken. Joker opened his eyes and noticed it was 7:30. He started to move out of bed.

"Mmmm puddin, I wanna stay in bed with you," said Harley while holding onto Jay's right arm.

"Me too toots but I'm famished," his stomach growled something indescribable. "See sweets," pointing to his stomach. Harley giggled at him, "Oh you pooh thing," she kissed him over and over.

"Now pooh it's time to take a shower together."

"Yayy." The Joker carried Harley to the bathroom while she smothered him with kisses.

"Now now sweets, save some of that for the shower," he chuckled wildly to which Harley joined. He puts her in the foot deep victorian tub.

"Such a deep tube puddin, where did you get it?"

"Let's just say dear old Maxie Zeus owed me a favor," his devious smile showed gave Harley a smirk. She turns on the water for the shower.

"Daddyyyy," Harley whined. "Come to me."

"Well pooh I cumed in you if that's any consolation," he said jokingly. Harley smacked him playfully.

"Ahh you dog." Jay kissed her cheek and she gave him a look of loving adortion. He entered the shower to join her in the moist embrace.

"Scoot over pooh."

"Yay, wanna wash your Harley Mistah J?"

"Ohh you have no idea sweets," Joker grabbed the scrub and squirted the suave body wash and started lathering it all over her perfect curves.

"You have the body of a goddess."

"Well, you have the body of a god puddin," she said grabbing the other scrub and started cleansing his toned chest.

"Sorry about the lack of shampoo," he said pointing at the lack of variety of cleaners.

"I haven't exactly expected to have company, especially a female companion but I'm glad I did," he kissed her cheek.

"Aww I'm glad too Mistah J," Joker continued lathering his Harley. She was purring with joy. As they were both scrubbing and all soapy they sprayed each other using the water jets.

"Ahh that feels so good Mistah J," she said soothingly.

After 30 minutes more in the shower, the couple dried each other off with the same towel. The pheromones and emotions released as they stared into each other's eyes was making them both tempted to ride one another.

"Wanna fuck me some more daddy?" grabbing his crotch he moaned with excitement.

"Hahahahaha I would love to pumpkin but look at the time," Harley made a quick glimpse at the clock to see that it was 7:15 p.m..

"Oh shit."

"Yep exactly, we have to get ready pooh," entering the bedroom Joker started dressing in an vibrant black tuxedo. Harley assisted him with getting dressed, looking in the mirror, "You look so handsome puddin."

"Well you look astonishing sweets."

"I'm not wearing anything sweetie."

"Exactly," kissed her head, she giggled. "Puddin?"

"Yes my sweet."

"Mind going to the living room baby? I don't want you to see the dress just yet. I want you to see how beautiful I'll look."

"But sweets, you'll always look beautiful in my eye's."

"Awww baby," she kissed him passionately on the lips.

"Okay pooh I'll be waiting."

….

30 minutes later Joker was waiting and getting slightly impatient. Sitting on his purple leather couch he started doodling on a green notepad. He was drawing them fucking furiously. In his head he thought, "Ahh Mistah J."

"Yeah take it all sweets," outside his head though a voice grasped his attention.

"Sweetie," said with suave and comfort. "Oh sweetie, I'm ready."

"Please come in sweets, let's see my Harley."

"Yes Mistah J," Harley walked in the living room seductively and Jay's jaw dropped completely. Harley's look was a harlequin jester costume. The outfit was skin tight and complimented her curves. Red and black of course was her colors with harlequin diamonds set on different spots of her outfit. She was holding a mask to top it off in her hand but her head was done with white face paint. Adding some blackish-red lipstick gave her lips Joker's yearning desire to bend Harley over the couch. Harley leaning on the door frame, "So whatcha think puddin?" Joker was completely speechless, he couldn't believe a woman could look so breathtaking. He felt like the luckiest man in Gotham to have the most gorgeous woman in the world leaning on his doorframe. Blood continued to flow to his groin. He wanted to destroy her.

"Ouuuu you do like it, don't cha puddin?"

"I can show you how much I like it."

"Daddy, we have to go to dinner," Harley came to Joker and kissed him full tongue was inserted. She teased him leading him on while giggling.

"Dammit Harley you little minx," Joker said breathing heavily. She rubbed his crotch making his erection grow. He grabbed her arm and took her in his embrace. Harley laid back on the Joker to which he held her arm and waist, both were smiling madly and truly in love. (This pose reminds me of an Alex Ross cover :p)

"C'mon pooh, it's time to eat."

"Okay sweetie." Holding each others hand while exiting the Joker's town house, the Rolls was waiting for their return.

"Hello boss, don't your two look ravishing," said Vince starting the car.

"I appreciate the compliment very much Vincy but I need you to step on it right now before we're late," Joker said with a deep change in tone. "You know how much I hate being late," Jay said darkly.

"Yes sir," Vince stepped his lead foot on the accelerator, he didn't stop for anyone. In the backseat the Joker was kissing Harley's soft silky arms from hand to forearm and even higher.

"Puddin stop it," whined Harley. "You're making me blush."

"Good, you'll be doing it more often after dinner." He fondled her breasts through her dress.

"PUDDIN!"

"Sowwy honey," Joker said mockingly.

"Such a dirty clown."

"But I'm your dirty clown sweets."

"Yes you are Mistah J." They locked lips the entire way to the Iceberg Lounge. It was located at the far end of the Founders district in Gotham. It is where the city's social elite come to mingle as well Gotham's rouge gallery.

Vince opened the door for them, the two walked together, Harley wrapped around Jay's arm.

"Follow my lead sweets, we're not taking the main entrance."

"Why Mistah J?"

"You'll see pumpkin," Joker takes her to the side entrance on the right side of the building. The door was a velvet red hue with silver buttons covering it. Before Joker pushes the door he turns to Harley.

"Welcome to the underbelly of Gotham city sweets." What Harley saw was unbelievable.

A luxurious view of divine restaurant decor. To Harley there was too much of a penguin theme but being here for the first time was exciting. The centerpiece was a giant ice sculpture of poseidon with a giant circular pool around it. It was the playing area for so many penguins.

"How many I help you Mr. Joker," The host's voice broke Harley's train of thought.

"Yes, reservation for two clowns."

"Ah yes the prestige setting, right this way sir."

"Excellent." The two followed the man to the second floor for a private room for the clown couple. The room had marble walls and columns, the place couldn't be more white. A oak wood custom crafted table with two matching chairs. Joker pulled out a chair for Harley.

"Ma lady."

"Thank you puddin," Harley took a seat and Joker follows. The host hands the two menus.

"Enjoy your evening you two." With that the host left.

Harley made a quick glimpse at the menu and her eyes shot wide.

"Dam Mistah J, this place is so pricy."

"Don't worry sweets, money is never an issue." A waiter came by and started pouring wine.

"Ah yes the signature grape juice I love to consume," Joker said and Harley stared at her glass.

"What is it Mistah J?"

"A delightful Merlot from Tuscany bottled in 1939, that year rings a bell I swear." Harley takes a sip and makes a sour face.

"Fuck that's strong." Joker laughs at her words.

"So are we ready to order sir and miss," asked the waiter.

"Well I'll have my night special and my love will have…?"

"Ohh sorry, I'll have the penne rustica with an order of truffle fries."

"Excellent choices, I'll have your orders sent to the chef and you'll have your food momentarily." With that said the waiter left and the two were staring in each other's eyes both smiling.

"How's the dinner going so far pumpkin?"

"It's lovely puddin, thank you so much sweetie."

"My pleasure love." He grabbed her hand and kissed it, she smiled so wide.

A man walked by flipping a coin a caught the eye of Jay but what was different was he had company.

"Jay?"

"Harvey is that you?"

...


	11. Two-sided conversations

"Joker what are you doing here? I'm surprised they let you in here after last time," said Two Face humorously.

"It's not my fault that Happy Feet couldn't handle a joke. I gave him a lovely white dinner jacket that he didn't refuse."

"That's because he hadn't realized that the coat was made out of rare Antarctic albino penguins," said Two Face nonchalantly.

"Well Pengers and I sorted it out and I agreed not to burn this lounge to the ground," Jay chuckled. Harley found the appearance of Mr. Dent to be a little unsettling. The burns on his right side made her want to gag a little. It's ironic due to her being in love with a man who has the looks of a clown but he was her clown and nobody else. "Oh where are my manners, Harvey this is my special girl, meet the clown princess of crime Harley Quinn." Harley reached her hand out to greet the disfigured man.

"Hello Mr. Dent it's a pleasure to meet you…" she was cut off by the burnt individual.

"Please Mr. Dent was my father's name, call me Two Face," Harvey shook Harley's hand. "Now this is funny."

"What is?" Harley said curiously.

"I had no idea Jay had female companions."

"I'm Mistah J's only woman. Is that puddin?"

"Of course sweets you know I only want you."

"Aww Mistah J."

"It's nice to see a happy couple in this bachelor cesspool. I'm here with Pamela for our date night."

"Ohh how lovely," said Harley. "Who's Pamela?"

Joker and Two Face both answered in unison, "Botanical fanatic."

"Huh descriptive."

"Yeah she's something," said Two Face smirking. "I'll go get her, she's probably at the bar bickering about men."

With Harvey leaving the two the waiter appears with the truffle fries. Placing them in front of Harley her mouth waters.

"Um can I have some ketchup."

"Of course miss, I'll be back." The waiter leaves and Joker remarks, "That's what the terminator said and look what happened." Harley chuckled.

"You're so funny Mistah J."

"I try," he gave her a wink to which she blushed a rosy pink hue. She was enjoying the dinner and it the main courses haven't even arrived.

"Your ketchup miss." The waiter's voice broke Harley's trance.

"Thanks."

"Your welcome, both of your main courses will be ready shortly." Leaving again, Joker stands up.

"I gotta make a phone call sweets."

"But baby, the food will be here shortly," Harley said with a whiny tone.

"Don't worry pooh," He went to Harley and kissed her on the lips fully. "This will be quick, I'll be back pumpkin."

"Okay daddy." She smiled as he left the private room. Thinking of her puddin made her smile even wider. Grabbing the merlot she pours herself a generous glass and started chugging it rapidly. Time was flying when during her intoxication. She started playing with the truffle fries and poured the ketchup over them like blood. There was commentary to the bloodshed.

"Nuuuuuu not the fries." At the center of the table there was a couple salt packets. Grabbing them she scattered the salt over the dead truffle bodies.

"I guess their feeling salty," giggled Harley.

"Ouuu whatever's in that bottle I want some," said Joker as he arrived to their room.

"PUUDDIIIN." Jumping out of her chair to hug her clown.

"Well honey you're drunk." Joker grinned madly.

"Why aren't you."

"Because one of us has to have our inhibitions at normal range."

"Okay Mistah J."

"Don't worry beautiful, you know what this means?"

"What?" Joker leans in and whispers in her ear.

"I have to tuck my little Harley in bed tonight." Harley's eyes gaped wide.

"Yayyyyy," screaming like a little girl almost deafening Jay.

The Joker places her in the chair. She starts eating the fries and she moans from the dish. "Ugh puddin this dish is soooo good."

"I see those fries are giving you a foodgasm. The main course I can only imagine. Tonight dessert will be on the house sweets." He leaned kissing her neck tenderly. She was getting turned on instantly, he could always get her wet.

"Ah puddin you just got Niagara Falls running."

"Excellent." The kissing went on even after the waiter placed their main courses on the table. The plate of penne was intoxicating to her taste buds, she didn't see what her puddin ordered. Her mouth was watering for some sustenance in her stomach.

"Puddin dinner is here."

"Yes yes just three more kisses," Joker pecking her lips, "Mwah, mwah, mwah."

He sat back down in his chair they begun their meals but Harley looked at the dish, but it wasn't a dish it was a white box.

"Ugh Mistah J?"

"Yes pooh."

"What's in the box?"

"I'll show you," he opened the box to show her. She was surprised to see what he ordered. A smaller red box with a gold smile in the center of it.

"McDonalds?"

"No, a happy meal," he chuckled to which Harley joined.

"You're a goof Mistah J."

"True, true." Jay took out a double cheese burger with a small fry. He took out the toy and what do you know, it was a Joker action figure.

"It's about time they made a kid's toy in my image, I'm a role model to all the boys and girls hahaha."

"Ouu can I keep it puddin."

"Sure, here you go pumpkin," handing it to her. "Want a fry?"

"Yes sweetie," her loving clown feed her a fry seductively, sticking the fry in her mouth with his index finger. She was adoring his compassion towards her and never get enough.

"How's it taste."

"Lovely," She then takes a bit out of her penne rustica and smiled. There was a satisfaction to the taste of the cream sauce. The pork and chicken worked exquisitely together.

"Want a bite puddin?"

"Sure beautiful." She pressed her fork into the noodles catching the sauce with the prosciutto bits. She feeds him seductively, swirling his tongue around her fork. He winked at her making her blush.

"How's it taste daddy?"

"First class," she giggled from his response. The two were enjoying their first dinner date and the moment was perfect. As time passed they ate, they drank, they joked, they laughed. After their main course was finished, the waiter came by, "Are you ready for dessert sir and miss?"

"Well I have dessert covered," he winked at Harley to which she giggled overly (she's plastered), "But I would die for a slice of belgian tiramisu heavy on the rum my good man." The waiter wrote the request in his notepad, "And miss?"

"Hmmm lemmme seeee," skimming through the dessert menu like a bat out of hell. "Ah okay, a New York style cheesecake with a cherry drizzle no I want that bastard soaked," she handed the waiter a piece of penne.

"Okay wise choices the both of you, It will be ready soon." The waiter left with the expression of holy shit.

An extra presence appeared from the curtains. It was Harvey again but with his date.

"Hello, you two look like you're both having a swell time." Harvey said smirkingly.

"Yeah Harv we're both intoxicated," Joker giggled. "Harley is fully loaded with Merlot and Yellow Tail. Giggling like a schoolgirl."

"Daaam straight Puddddiin." she burped multiple times after her response.

Harvey not knowing how to respond to that. "Okay, well here's my special lady: Pamela Isley."

Pam a little peeved from how he titled her.

"It's Poison Ivy now." Harley gave a ditzy response.

"Did you say Poison Oaky?"

"POISON IVY." Her face as red as blood

"Geez sorry, your face makes me want to call you red now."

"Ohh were gonna get along I can tell." Pam said sarcastically.

Harvey interrupted, "So that was a good little chat. Pam had more schnapps than she can handle and she's a mean drunk."

"Hey I'm right here."

"I know."

"Pammie and Harv, as much as I enjoy these moments I need to take my little Harlequin home to have some dessert." Harley happy and jumping out of her seat.

"Yayyyyyy."

"See what I mean guys," Joker standing up out of his chair. Picking up his Princess of Crime he heads out of the private room, "I'll give you two a call later, give Pengers my best."

As the lovely couple was heading out the door, Joker paid the waiter in the lobby and gave them their desserts to go. Exiting out of the Iceberg Lounge the Joker plopped Harley on her feet then walked her to the parking lot. Harley was confused

"Puddin?"

"Yes pumpkin."

"Where is Vincy with our ride?"

"Well I was in the mood to take you to our home myself." His answer struck Harley with those two words.

"Our home?"

"Indeed my love." She jumped in his arms and spread kisses all over his chalk white face.

"OUUU MISTAH J." She started tearing up but Jay held her tighter.

"Shhh honey let's go home."

"Yes puddin. So where's the car?"

"Over here." Joker took out his phone and clicked on an app that started a car near them. Harley was dumbstruck by the car.

"Woah."

"Oh yeah." He had a smirk forming.

"What do you call it Mistah J?"

"Purple Lamborghini."

...


	12. Late night interruptions

**"** **...Cocaine, white Ferrari, I'm in the fast lane, Every day was life or death, that's when the cash came…"**

 **Driving down the streets in the Founders District of Gotham city, was a luscious purple race car. It was going 75 in a 40 speed zone. Driving at midnight is a time the crazies come out to play but a time for heros to earn the title.**

 **"** **Purple lamborghini, purple lamborghini wokin.." Harley singing tipsy to the lyrics in her head.**

 **"** **Appropriate choice of words pooh," Joker tickling her chin in amusement. She can't stop giggling from his touch. His affection was turning her on immensely. It was like a drug she couldn't get enough of. As the Joker drove past some traffic down Ayer Dr., he turned and handed Harley her new handgun.**

 **"** **Here sweets."**

 **"** **What's this for puddiiiinn? You wanta to use this on me when we get home?", she winked lustfully.**

 **"** **How did you know?" Jay said smirking. "But first we'll be delayed unfortunately."**

 **"** **Huh?" Harley…..(made a sound that couldn't be translated).**

 **"** **You'll see." As Joker blazed through another intersection a black cruiser that was iconic to anyone that saw it swerved the corner to start chasing the Lamborghini. Joker starts laughing hysterically. "And here we gooo."**

 **"** **MisHAt j is that Batman?"**

 **"** **Ahhh yes." The batmobile is gaining speed to the lambo. Harley can hear the engines revving coming closer to them. She's starting to grasp the situation in full from her intoxication.**

 **"** **Dammit bats you're ruining date night," she points the revolver at the batmobile out the window and started shooting rapidly. He's not going to take away her puddin. The shots she fired created halting turns for the Batman. He continues to persist because he's Batman.**

 **"** **Take the wheel sweets," Harley slides on Jay's lap to grab the wheel. Her thoughts racing through her mind during the chase filled her circulation with adrenaline. Joker laughs and begins to have an erection from Harley's positioning.**

 **"** **Daddy you're poking me."**

 **"** **This is what happens when you sit on daddy's lap pumpkin. Now it's time to get home."**

 **In the backseat of the car was a green metal case titled: The Killing Joke. Opening it Harley saw a portable minigun in a dark purple metallic hue. He popped open the moonroof forcefully jumping straight up. Pointing the gun he yells to Batman,**

 **"** **Hey batsy, for tonight I leave you with a bang." He presses the button down immediately to unleash a hail of lead projectiles on the black beauty. The batmobile taking damage from the large caliber rounds. Joker was chuckling hysterically, ironically was still louder than the incessant booming. He aimed the gun at the wheels to blow them out. Taking 50 plus rounds the front two wheels blew out. The vehicle crashed into an atm which was apparently owned by Wayne Enterprises. He obviously didn't need the money as you can see. But this won't be the last encounter that was for sure.**

 **"** **Next time clown."**

 **…**

 **When the couple escaped Joker stuffed his gun down back in the case. Once he turned around Harley smothered him with kisses. Not rejecting it, in fact he was enhancing the intimacy.**

 **"** **I'll take the wheel."**

 **"** **Okay Mistah J."**

 **The intensity in the car was ecstatic. The two were ready to fuck each other so hard it would break the bed frame. Finally reaching the loft Joker exit's the car, walks around to open it for her intoxicated lady. She jumped out at him and continued to smother him with full blown kisses. Holding her up and walking up the cobblestone stairs. As he enters the loft with his Harley in his hands one phrase will be self explanatory,**

 **"** **It's time for bed my love."**

 **…**

 **This is a intermediate based chapter. Just starting school again so I'll try to be vigilant about making more chapters for the fans. I can't thank those enough reading my first story. Thank you all and to all a good night, hahahahaha.**


	13. Life

"I need to say something that, just isn't my feeling of the world that I once knew. I always gave the world an existential perspective that bordered on the pessimistic side but in reality that's been my vision since I was a little boy just trying to make the world a more happy place. To give me a reason to live without making some cheery knitwit out of myself. To not feel helpless in a world surrounded by those who don't care but you are different then the rest."

"I grew up in a semi happy household with a mother who wanted nothing but to have me smile and be joyful with life, to always look at the world with a positive attitude. I was her special boy ever since she gave birth to me. But to every ying there's a yang like a matching pair of socks you despised every Christmas morning. My father was a man who was influenced by the religion he followed. To do everything their beliefs mandated from birth to death to get a seat to the ivory gates. Now as any parent would teach to their child, they give you the mindsets and themes they learned from their journey to prepare you for the long walk. He gave me teachings that I never truly forgot even after what happened, everything one-sided leaving the other half out as leaving porch furniture outside to rust with time. But with time you try to follow it just to satisfy his goal for modeling his only son as a true son of god. To follow a religion as corrupt as all the others, flawed in so many ways. But you just accept that people are bedded in the influences your parents had experienced before you. A cycle that crippled my beliefs even to this day as I speak to you today."

"My mother just stood there, she knew I didn't want to follow in my father's footsteps. She helped and supported me the best she could but she was still my father's wife, it's not she could have said that I didn't want to be a believer like him. No that was a choice I had to make myself but I never found the courage. I had the angst to tell him as young as 9 but at the time I knew that he would of been crushed. Actually in all honestly I wasn't sure how he'd respond to that message. Whether anger with spite, shame and depression, or just shune me as a lost cause. A failed attempt to make me the best man I could be. I was too afraid to tell him how I felt and it's something I've always regretted. I've never told you the joke of it all the part that made me gasp with relief."

"They say divorce is always hardest on the children, well who ever said that was only half right. It made me relaxed with my life. Granted it wasn't a walk in the park but I didn't cut myself over it well not yet at least. To not have to pray every day, no eating restrictions, no one-sided lifestyle, no more lying to myself. I didn't fully process the divorce in the beginning but for a time I felt something that was lost from me for so long, my ability to choose how I wanted to live. I tried to stay strong for my mother, to not show that I was weak, to not need support, to show that I was capable of being a strong independent young man. It worked but I shut off how I was feeling on the inside for a while. I'm sure you could see where I'm going with this."

"I was never the popular kid even before the divorce. Hell I never told anyone about the split except for a handful of people. I was a little ashamed of to be in that old outdated statistic. To not see my father until two years later was reflecting on my social skills a bit. To not get connected with people because you know you'll lose them, that's just inevitable in life no matter how much you deny it. Sure they're there now but never when you truly need them. All but mother, she was always there for me but I never truly appreciated it, to be blind to someone that would die for you and does nothing but love you wasn't something I understood fully. But with you I understand."

"I tried to play the fool with people. I made jokes to make people laugh and they did which gave me that title of humorous and sarcastic. I had a serious expression on my face that still appears from time to time you, know what I'm talking about. But I still was a young boy who had to become the man of the house. With that weight and holding myself was to much to bear to the point I cried myself to sleep every night for a couple weeks. To have the intention to hurt myself through self abuse. To feel something real again, by that time I was desensitized to my encoursens for years. On the outside to people I was just angry looking kid who hated everything and had no real assistance on how to process my true emotions. On the inside I was smashed vase that took time to put together, even after being put together the glue shows where I cracked mentally. I didn't care about anyone at that time because I felt alone. No I don't have to be alone anymore I have you. Someone that understands me."

"Being an outcast was a set place for me, I had few friends who meant well but never really grasped the full picture of what I was going through. The rest were business associates so to speak, people I would never see after college but that's for another time. I was used to being alone and with constant depression, it was a great combination like sweet and salty or salt and pepper. I know that there are people who were worst off than me but at the same time there are those who don't know the feeling of sheer indescribable sadness. Being put in that middle ground pissed me off like being the middle child in a family. I was set on an interesting path after that well you could use your imagination."

…

"No, your files have nothing recorded before the accident."

"Well let's say I gave you a first time memory of me and my past."

"Thank you for sharing with me Mistah J, that must not have been easy for you."

"Actually sweets all it takes is someone that's special enough to understand and listen to one's problems."

"I'll always listen to you Mistah J you're the most important person to me. I love you puddin."

"I love you too Harley Quinn. So much that I feel like I'm going insane."

"Too late daddy."


	14. Back to Basics

_Writing at night never really sounds like a good idea unless you suddenly have some random spark of inspiration. Well this isn't exactly one of those times but I think I can make it work regardless so fuck it here we go._  
 _  
_

 __

 _There once was a girl named was dower at a young age. She didn't have many friends and those she did have weren't exactly the most reputable of characters. No sense of respect and hell didn't really care about one another. So in a way they weren't really friends, they were more like acquaintances. Anyway being a straight a student she wasn't engaged in the social contract of society. Her looks weren't giving her any favors either. Short with glasses and braces but the industrial kind to fix the jaw line. You see where I'm going with this. All she was determined to do was to get out of school and go off to college so she can make something of herself._

 _Her parents were a annoying bunch of irresponsible fuckups. The father was in prison for grand theft auto and endangerment of his children not to mention abusive to his wife from time to time. The mother drank and smoked away here problems, not wanting to face reality much anymore. Little Harley wasn't given a role model to look up to. She had to grow up at a age where one should being able to act like a child but no we all don't have such luxury._

 _She found it hard to laugh for a long time when she was busy trying to build a life beyond her troubled past. The feeling of validation from others was established due to a lack of it from her parents. She has scars on her wrists to show for it that tell stories she never told anyone. Well sometimes it's good to let people in so you can receive the support you need. All she wanted was for someone to listen to her, someone to actually care for her, someone to make her laugh again,but most of all;someone to love her._

 __

 _Jay, well not much is remembered from his point of view. All there is to tell are from lies and mocked tales of his upbringing. He was just a boy wanted to make the world smile from his antics. Suffered from the cruelness of his environmental growth. He had a destructive path in his record. Local psychologists would test him from his young age to now under very different circumstances. Jay would smile with little words said. This was all a game to him. From throwing cyanide pies at widowers to setting fires in fire stations he just wanted to have fun. He knew no one would understand him. Many screamed and a couple were killed by collateral. That was the price that was paid to have a good laugh. The police weren't doing much by sending Jay to Juve, he would just start riots we the inmates. He always end loved a divine audience. They kept him in holding to the point where they had to let him go for insufficient evidence of certain crimes. He became more subtle in assorted affairs throughout his adolescence. Doing drugs and shipping guns were fun but he wasn't finding the thrill anymore to the cause. He felt lonely before his transformation. Before he claimed to not needing anybody. He was a solo act. At first that would work in his favor against a future enemy but eventually even clowns such asourselves always want someone to share a laugh with._


	15. Morning Greetings

Mad love is a feeling that seems enjoyable and sparks fly with fireworks. Being with your significant other gives you the new perspective on life with such pleasantries that you never care about anything else in the world at all. Movies and TV give that impression to our society but actually finding someone that means so much to you that you can't even describe it to anyone is the true feeling of enlightenment. Especially when you never discovered that feeling before in my life. Only feeling despair and loneliness, not connecting together with others. But when you lose so much hope turns into an empty word with little to no meaning. Ending towards a life of complete nothingness I continue to feel self pity. No one cares, well some do it's just you don't realize it until it's too late. No one really understands but I digress it's the existentialist in me. I just miss her so much. Happiness was an intermediate to my deprived emotional schema. I miss everything about her, her scent, her smile, her voice. God when she called me puddin my heart melted like a first time lover. Funny this is she was my first love. Done anything for her enjoy, her company from my couch downstairs to the children's hospital in Hershey for surgery. She was something special, not your average teenage girl but I never wanted something average. I just want her. Such a sexy little minx beneath the sheets. To hold her in my arms once more and hear her beautiful voice say those three little words would make me smile truly once more. I could die with a smile on my face and it would be magical. All I want is that and nothing more in this life but sometimes hope isn't always available for everyone. Death seems appealing in my current state but what seems appealing to one won't help others that care about me. I'm sorry.

….

"Jack." A mysterious woman calling his name.

"Genie." He doesn't understand who she is.

"Jack." She's starting to fade.

"Who are you?" Everything is going into a flash

…...

Jay waking up from his abrupt dream. Sweating a little, he doesn't understand who she was. He sometimes had dreams like this. He didn't realize what they meant and they confused him greatly. But something now distant himself away from his distress, his harley.

Staring at his little Harlequin he smiled genuinely. She was wrapped around his arm not letting go for hours. She glommed onto him while she slept like an angel in his eyes. For sleeping alone for god knows how long, he was getting used to his little girl in his bed. This isn't the first time they were bonded together in the sheets but he just looks at her and feels complete. He never felt so together, in a way he was a little scared by the thought.

He was feeling reassured by the natural smile that formed on her lips. Her luscious red lips so irresistible to him. Smirking he leaned toward her breathtaking face, even when sleeping he felt like the luckiest man in the world. To have someone who wants nothing but love and affection he felt like he could actually care for another human being. Kissing her lips gently not trying to wake her up suddenly. He couldn't get enough of his toy. The kiss was a minute long no more no less. He returned to his position in which he woke up. Turning to her once more he says those three little words.

"I love you."

Not opening her eyes she simply replies:

"I love you too puddin."

...


	16. Responsibilities to attend

Let's start again.

In the morning at 8:30 a.m. Harley woke up in their bed. She felt different though, alone. Not feeling her clown hold her like usual she looks to her right and see's vacancy.

"Puddin?" She says out loud. Her voice echoes through the loft.

"Huh." Getting up out of bed Harley started searching for Jay.

"Mistah J?" There was no response. She became worried, they haven't been apart much at all lately. Was he tired of their little romp? No that's not it. Right?

"Jay?" Now searching around the loft she discovered a box of mint truffles in the pantry. They looked imported, neatly intricate designed green box.

"Ouu." Harley is impressed just by the box. As it is opened inside is handcrafted mint truffles that made her mouth water. Grabbing one she takes a bit and her senses are overloading with sugar. They tasted so good, Taking a handful and shoving them in her face.

"That's sweet." Said with sly humor. "Ah my puddin always know how to treat me." Accidently she let the box fell and note appeared. Looking at it, multiple scribbles of clowns were drawn on it. As well as a message.

" _Enjoy the truffles sweets, I just had to run this morning. Don't worry I'll return beautiful. I'm sure I can make it up to you when I get back, hehe."_ _\- J_

Harley was getting wet and also hungry, well at least one can be satisfied for now before her love returns. Making some scrambled eggs quickly siding the meal with some artisan bread with an olive oil drizzle (real Mediterranean choice). Entering the living room she sits with her plate and starts to eat. Turning on the TV and puts it on the news. Munching is drowning out the noise. Turning up the volume and a breaking report is being listed.

"I'm Vicki Vale and here's the breaking news: Gang violence is on the rise with the continuing tension between the Falconie and Maroni crime families. Playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne is taking up the mantle of reinventing the slums of Gotham to bring the city to the 21th century. Multiple reports of people found murdered with a disturbingly wide smile carved into their faces with what seems to be a switchblade. These are linked to the Joker's latest doings. He's been notorious for appearing with the most desire for the spotlight. But recently the self entitled clown prince of crime has been less public with his actions. Some speculate that he's been having a love affair with a mysterious doctor. This stories will be covered more tonight at 11 stay tuned Gotham."

"Yes yesy yes your right Valet my Mistah J is seeing a doctor and that doctor is moi." She smiled thinking of her puddin cutting up the faces of those suckers. Some people just can't take a joke. Now they're always smiling. Maybe he was out today for that same reason. Anything is possible with her clown so unpredictable she loved that about him. Finishing her breakfast she goes to the bathroom to take a shower.

"La la la lah laaaahhhh." What appeared to be singing at least it sorta was, honestly no one really knows. Harley sometimes like to make own little melodies. Sometimes she would just sing random lyrics.

"I'm just a pool boy nobody loves me. He's just a pool boy from a poor family." "All my friends are creepers they explode." Feeling the warmth off the spray was so loosening.

" _Thump"_

The noise made Harley pause. Later she dismissed it and continued to sing her own tunes. "I'm walking on sunshine ohhhhh, I'm walking on sunshine."

"I've got you under my skin.", he sung with a performers tone. Harley giggled waiting for him. "I've got you deep in the heart of me." his voice was increasing. Coming closer to the bathroom. Opening the door walking through, "So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me." Already naked seductively slipping into the shower. Whispering into her ear while rubbing her shoulders, "I've got you under my skin."

"Hiii pudddin." Feeling whole with her love. "I'm missed you this morning."

"I know sweets but daddy had some small affairs to attend to and you looked so peaceful in my arms when I woke up I didn't want to wake you pumpkin."

"What was it that you had to leave so early in the morning Mistah J?"

"You'll see my dear, it's a surprise.", kissing her neck. Harley just feels euphoric when he embraces her.

"Yes Mistah J."

"I missed you when I was gone sweets."

"I missed you more puddin."

…

Five hours earlier in their bed together.

Joker was having little insomnia lately with his little Harley in his arms night after night. But even with a loved one old habits die hard. Waking up in the very early morning seeing her pretty smile it killed him that he had to leave but he had his hobbies and responsibilities to take part in.

Getting dressed in his custom purple suit, he grabbed some of his trusty Joker toxin to paint the town green.

"I wonder how many smiles I can make tonight." Before leaving the loft he checks up on her one last time before he leaves to fulfill merry joy to Gotham. "Don't worry sweets eventually I'll take you on a field trip one of these nights hehe." Kissing her lips he's off to the "Playground."

4:30 a.m.

In the burrows of Gotham the clown prince of crime and a couple of his associates were hunting randomers down to send a message later to a caped crusader.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." A man screaming from the pain of having his foot cut off with a rusty kitchen knife.

"Dam he just won't shut up."

"No fucking shit Rico now put more duct tape around his mouth before the whole neighborhood hears him."

"It's not the neighborhood you should be worried about. I think the bat is more of a problem Peter. Now pass me another clip." In the alley way the Joker was checking up on how the lap dogs were doing.

"How are we doing Pete?"

"Don't worry Boss he's not talking right now. He recently passed out on the pain."

"Well don't worry it will only get worse." Pulling out his switchblade he puts the knife in the man's mouth. "Why so serious?"

" _Slit, slit."_

The guy's blood was starting to gush down his dead pale cheeks.

"Whoops looks like I cut too deep. Well at least you'll die with a smile on your face." This case was starting to bored Jay. Now he want's to get to the next adventure.

"C'mon boys let's go. Time to meet some old friends."

….

5:57 a.m.

Joker goes to the underground courthouse. Talking between old friends but as usual things get out of hands all too quickly.

"Boys boys please let's calm down, you're foreplay is not satisfactory."

"Jay shut up"

"Harvey you remind me of a over baked muffin, burnt and crusty."

"Fucking original you over zealous pain in the ass."

"Look we need to show the families who owns Gotham. Are you in Harv because everyone else is with the me."

"Even Pamela?"

"Well I figured you could do that task, if anyone could persuade that overbearing feminist, it's you."

"That's true it won't be easy but I think she'll be in with us."

"Excellent. Now can one of your little drones get me a scotch."

….

7:32 a.m.

Outside of the Ace Chemical plant near the outer banks of the city the Joker takes a morning stroll. Walking through the valves with nostalgia.

"Oh such fond memories. I wonder what life would have been I didn't take a swim in the green bath that made me the happy man I am today." A dark figure appears from the shadows.

"Funny the only memories of the this place I have give me regret."

"Oh bats you'd think that after all these years you would realize that I am the only thing that gets you out of bed in the morning."

"Puting monsters like you and the others in Arkham get me out of bed in the morning. This city needs someone to stand up to evil and fight it at it's core and that someone is me."

"Well honestly I didn't expect to deal with you today actually. I was just enjoying listening to the peace and tranquility of bubbling compounds."

"I'm bringing you in Joker. You choose how this will turn out."

"You say that but frankly you're not as much of a priority in my life anymore, I've met someone very special and she's going to wonder where I am and there's I a couple more things to do before I see my sweets. So I will have to politely refuse."

"I'm not asking Joker." Batman starts to walk in Jay's direction. He pulls out a pair of titanium cuffs ready to take the Joker to Arkham.

"Don't worry batsy I won't stop making the people of Gotham laugh. You will still see me but I just need some space right now."

" _Screeeeeech"_ Batman turned to see what was occurring but was cut off by a gunshot piercing the centerpiece of his armor.

"Agh dam." It didn't breach the titanium tri weave fibers but the impact hurt like a bitch.

"Sorry bats but I know you. You are just too stubborn." Aiming his Bang pistol at the dark knight once more. Shooting his gun til the clip was empty. Batman dodged a couple of the bullets but he staggered from the impact of those he didn't.

Joker walks towards the ledge of the plant. Before jumping all he can say as Batman stood in pain and starred, "Take a picture, it will last longer." Off the clown went into the river swimming to the shore where he meet up with the some of his goons he called earlier before his confrontation.

"So gentlemen, take me to Zorro's I need to make one more stop before I return to my loft."

"Yes boss."

"But first I'm drenched did you pack a spare suit David."

"Always sir." David goes to the trunk of the Range Rover to pull out a fresh black suit with a vibrant green tie and purple dress shirt.

"Ahh just the one I was thinking of too." He starts to change, besides him and his lackeys no one is one the beach enjoying the sun rising. "Everyone turn around, I know I'm irresistible but I don't swing that way. I'm watching you Chuck."

8:42 a.m.

The Range Rover makes one quick stop to Zorro's Fine Establishment in the corner of the city. It was painted black and stood out compared to the other businesses but it was known to house treasures but evil entities as well. It was very exclusive, hell only a few of the rogues were allowed to shop there for personal items.

"Here's what you've selected Mr. Joker." Zorro was a small old man with grey hairs styled to make him look like he casted in the Godfather. He had class and values which Jay respected. He was the only man he trusted with this request. He comes to the clown with a little black box. Opening it Joker is stunned by the craftsmanship and designed.

"Well?"

"It's perfect."

"She's a lucky girl Jay."

"You have no idea Zorro." With that he left and told his driver to take him home.

 **"I need a shower, she's probably about to take one it's already nine. Probably singing Bohemian Rhapsody."**

 **"Mama just killed a man..."**

….


	17. An aggressive couple and analysis

Changing a scene of venue we see Two Face in his attempt to persuade his constant ex Poison Ivy.

Harvey went down towards the botanical gardens near the abandoned Gotham conservation range. Vines every which way covering the rusty steel gates. Thousands of species of flowers and plants. A true botanist's wet dream. The way the old gothic architecture went with the glass paneling, the beam entangled with white lilies. The building was abandoned for over three decades. No complex reasoning, corrupt mayoral politicians cutting funds to supply their annual profit margin. That was the set standard for anyone holding office but I digress (wink wink). Anyway Pamela couldn't refuse the perfect place to grow her babies and let them spread. Harvey hasn't been to the garden in a couple years because of his incessant desire to burn half of the plants. Binary can be a bitch. But Pam has been closed off lately. She's been acting out a bit with her need to keep her plants strong and ready for her own plans for Gotham's demise.

"Dam she needs to get a life.", Harvey couldn't help but stare at the complexity of the roots for this large oak tree that has to have been at least three hundred years old. They had to stretch for at least a hundred feet. His curiosity however did not work in his favor. A mutant overgrown rose wine grasped at Harvey's feet. Pulling his feet up and hanging him high up in the air. The vine brought Harvey to the main center where Ivy ascended from a genetically modified Middlemist Red. Wearing nothing but a thin leaf gown revealing her stunning smooth bareback giving Two Face some pretty kinky ideas.

"Hello Harv, how's it hanging."

"You're funny."

"What are you doing here Harv? You know this is where I like to unwind having some alone time."

"Yeah technically you're not alone with all these vines snatchng up everything and everyone."

"Only who I want them to."

"I'm flattered Pam."

"You should be you unappreciative bastard."

"Oh fuck off you stuck up bitch." Pamela kicks Harvey in the chest three times before he twists while she is in mid kick making her stumble over. He tries with all his effort to grab the pistol in his side where he starts shooting rapidly firing shells into the mutant wine. It was injured to the point it's grasp on the burned man is no longer possible.

"How dare you? You come into my home trespassing and now you kill one of my babies."

"Well it's not like I was here to kill you. No I came to offer you a proposition but no, you had to go full metal bitch." Ivy punches him square in the jaw.

"You don't understand women."

"No I understand women, you on the other hand are on outlier"

"Am I supposed to be insulted?"

"No."

"Come here." Ivy has a smirk forming on her lips. He knew exactly she was doing. She was walking toward Harvey and gave him a full kiss that stuns him entirely. He was trapped in a paralyzed stature discovering that Ivy used her special neurotoxin lipstick to entice him. So irresistible to him, he wanted her but he couldn't move for shit.

"Oh men are so easy. So tempted simply by a woman touch."

"You know I'm not normal like other men."

"Yeah you're extra crispy."

"You are such a cunt."

"You can't keep yourself away from it though Harv."

"You are no better Pammie, that kiss wasn't something subtle. You slipped in some tongue. I can tell you have the craving for man again but not any man though. Only I can satisfy your thirst Pamela." Harvey starts to regain control of his motor functions. Slowly he grabs her head, forcefully taking her in his mouth. She moans with pleasure not having his touch in weeks. The dry spell is over for the ginger.

"Where's the bedroom?"

"I'll make one.", using her powers to shift the plants around to make a queen size bed. Harvey takes her to the bed and starts lustfully kissing her legs down to her feet. She tries to keep strong with her femininity but sometimes the fern needs to be watered. The only one that has ever been able to get her off was a man obsessed with binary.

"Harv, I need you."

"I know you do and hell I need you too." The two lock mouths for so long they lost track of time. As they took off each others clothes their bodies were connected and wouldn't unbind for hours to come.

….

At Wayne Manor...

Inside the Batcave Alfred Pennyworth delivers Bruce his dinner. He grew worried about Bruce's health. Choosing to stay down in the cave for a week without rest. He's just been staring at the Batcomputer for profiling the Joker and the mysterious woman he's seeing. He hasn't been himself lately.

"Your dinner sir." He placed it on the counter next to the Batcomputer.

"Hmm." The small grunt was all Bruce could muster.

"Master Wayne please, this isn't healthy. You need to rest."

"I need to find out what the Joker's next objective is Alfred. This city doesn't need another disaster to endure."

"Of course sir but how will Batman protect the people of Gotham when he's down here giving himself constant eye strain?"

"..."

"Bruce?"

"Joker told me he's taking a break."

"A break sir?"

"Yeah I wasn't buying it either, but making my flights around the districts I have found little to no evidence of his presence. Bodies with his disgusting smirk carved into their mouths were discovered but they don't seem to lead anywhere."

"How can you tell sir?"

"I've ran the victims through the Batcomputer for further analysis. Identification of the victims were listed under low end occupations and in the Narrows." Alfred looks at the pictures of the victims.

"I see their bodies were discovered in the Playground."

"Yes, that area of the Narrows has been used by many of the Arkham inmates. It has been given the title of "trash collection" due to the villains disposing their victims there. Last week the Riddler was taking homeless people to test his electroshock riddles. His ego was ultimately his downfall when he thought I couldn't solve the mechanisms of his enigma coding." Alfred takes a look at his recently used batsuit.

"What about the burn scars on the cowl sir?"

"Well he wasn't exactly playing by the rules."

"So there aren't any possible motives for Joker's sudden lack of attendance in the limelight Master Wayne?"

"Before he started firing he said there's someone special in his life. Supposedly he's having a relationship with a woman."

"Interesting, I wouldn't have taken the clown to be a romantic."

"Me neither, I always thought he was incapable of emotions besides his sadistic tendencies. This infatuation is something I never would have expected."

"And yet you don't seem convinced sir."

"He's too unpredictable for me to be convinced. I wonder where this woman came from? How she can fall for someone as sick as him? He's not the kind of person to get distracted in the interest of others."

"A women can have that effect on a man."

"That's true but I think he's up to something bigger. I can't imagine what those two are up to now."

….

At the happy couples loft...

"This is Vicki Vale with the 11' o'clock news. I'm reporting from the Ace Chemical Plant where police are investigating the events that occurred between Batman and the infamous Joker..."

Harley and Joker were together on the couch, assuming the normal position of her laying in his arms, they were watching the news like an old married couple. He never saw himself as ever being like this but sometimes everything just works out for the best. When you find someone so special that the world is one giant fun ride. Time slowed down for them not caring about anything else.

"Puddin?"

"Yes sweets?"

"Why were you there this morning?"

"I was reminiscing of a simpler time this morning, just a stroll in the place that made me the happy man you know today sweets.", he kissed her nose, she giggled. "Yeah Bats was following me thinking I didn't noticed and we discussed some things. Long story short he tried to toss me back in Arkham, I shot him in the chest multiple times, he was badly injured and I took a swim in the Gotham River."

"I'm glad you made it back. I couldn't imagine being without you sweetie."

"Don't worry pumpkin, I'm not going anywhere.", kissing her neck.

"... We've found the Joker hasn't been spotted lately in the spotlight contradictory to his character. Only found evidence of his appearance are victims with a cynical smile carved in their faces in the Playground. Some reporters claim that the Joker has been busy lately with a more emotional affair. Whether this is all an unexplained spectacle, the self proclaimed clown prince of crime has a girlfriend."

"Ohh she's much more than that."

"Ya got that right puddin.", kissing her clown, tongue included.

….


	18. I can't help myself

Have a lemon ;)

Come to Daddy

Harley awoke shocked, she can't see anything. She was blinded by a dark cloth bag over her head. The sensation of panic filling her conscious mind. Wondering where Jay is, not feeling safe unless he was with her but now she just had to keep calm.

"Hello?"

"Anybody?", No echo heard.

" _Thump"_

"Who's there?"

"Don't be worrisome beautiful."

"Puddin what's going on? Why is there a bag over my head?"

" _I'm in the mood to play."_

"Ouu you wanna ride your harley Mistah J?"

"Indeed sweets, I've even bought something I know you'll love."

"What is it?", she said eagerly.

"Be patient pumpkin, waiting will make it even more worth your while."

"Yes Mistah J."

….

Back in the past

Harley discussing with the Joker in the beginning about life and his past that no one not even him can truly remember. Asking him more and more Joker can be cooperative and sometimes not so helpful. This was placed as short memory.

"What is it that drives you Mr. J."

"Oh you are such a nosey nelly aren't you?"

"Why do you answer every question with a question?"

"Why do you think I answer every question with a question?"

"You're trying to avoid opening up to me."

"But honey I've told you more than I told any other doctor and I haven't strangled you but I'm sure you like that." He winks making her blush.

"And I appreciate it Mistah J but these sessions aren't games."

"But doctor, you should know I can't refuse games. I don't want to miss out on all the fun."

"Sessions are meant to be taken seriously Mr. J. I want to understand what makes a man like you tick."

"Someday I should take you with me on a field trip to see high function this clown is."

"As lovely as that sounds Mistah J you're kinda locked in here."

"You'd be surprised how often they leave the door unlocked. It's like they want us to leave."

"I don't want you to leave.", she grabbed his arm.

"Ah sweets, you're the reason why I keep a happy kick in my step. Every time I see those stunning azul eyes a smile forms on my face."

"Awww."

"What can I say, I'm a romantic, hehe."

….

"Uggh Daddy." She said while being spanked with his belt.

"Yes pumpkin.", keeping a sly grin.

"Keep going, I've been such a bad girl." Her ass was red and sore with welts forming almost breaking the skin.

"Manners will get you further in life sweets."

"Please puddin." She leans to him taking him in her mouth, playing with his tongue he was helpless. Even during submission she still had some control over her clown. Attempting to get her way she grabs his rock hard cock and lubricates it with her mouth while jerking rapidly. All while she keeps her eyes looking big and wide. Such a naughty girl.

"Aw pooh you do give a persuasive case. When can I ever say no to those azul oceans you possess."

"Yayy." He pulls her over her knee and starts smacking her more and more.

"Fuck puddin." She's dripping from the force of her beloved's bare white hand.

"How's it feeling pumpkin?"

"Satisfactory sweetie." She's in ecstasy to his touch.

"But wait there's more, hahaha." He pulls out a can of whip cream and starts spraying cream around her neatly trimmed pussy.

"Yesss eat my pussy daddy. Pwwweaseee." With that request he lowers down to her on their bed. He licks the cream around her clit making her blush immensely. He was teasing her a little.

"Puuuddiiiinn." she said in a whiningly manner. He responded by inserting his full tongue into her pussy. She was moaning with the octaves of a fire siren.

"OH MY GOD YES, YES, YESSS, MORE!"

"Such a greedy girl.", he chuckles. Continuing to eat her out she's speechless, like she just can't do anything in this state of euphoric pleasure. Finishing off the cream she squirts on him. She giggles, all he could say was "Good aim." She wants to make him cum a fat load inside her now. She switches positioning in the bed. She climbed her clown.

"Now it's my turn Mistah J." Grabbing his meatpole she shoved it in her gushing vagina both moan simultaneously.

"Ahhh so fucking tight." Joker said in complete pleasure. Every time he enters her, he feels completely connected to his Harley. Two bonded into one. They both needed each other like needing oxygen to survive. Up and down as the thrusting continued both were on the verge of climax (well again for Harley). She truly is a squirter.

"My my Harley, you're cuming like a fire hydrant." Cumming on his erection was only giving Jay more ferocity and energy to fuck her brains out.

"Well puddin, you are irresistible."

"I try." He grabs her voluptuous breasts with want. She gasps at his firm grasp.

"Yess play with my boobs Mistah J." He sucks one nipple and pinches the other. "Fuck keep going."

"Let's take this up a notch." He stands while fucking her. Multitasking is a key skill. Bringing up the rope, he ties her to a sex swing in their room.

"It's time to fuck that tight ass of yours." Grabbing his monster, stroking with lubrication from her pussy juices. He rams the head into her tight little asshole.

"God that cock is big." She hasn't been used to him using her backdoor but god did it feel good. She was cumming faster with his penetration.

"I'm about to slip on the floor."

"Cum for me daddy."

"Almost there sweets." He switches holes, back to the pink. Pounding harder and harder to the point Jay was losing sensitivity in his legs.

"I'm about to cum.", he said hoarsely. He starts spraying his baby batter into her tight pussy. Feeling him filling her up she cummed on his cock one more time. He didn't pull out in fact he pressed in making sure took in every drop. She couldn't get enough of his love. Eventually when he pulled out his flag pole a fair amount of cum abruptly erupted. He shoved the residue on his cock in Harley's mouth. She licks the deeds off sensually like she's licking her favorite lollipop. He unties her. She starts to push out the remaining cum out of her pussy. Trying to taste every bit of her puddin's pudding.

"How does it taste love?"

"Perfect."

….


	19. Sleep

"I'm in Harv."

"Actually I was in 10 minutes ago."

"No I mean I'm in with Jay's plan even though you still haven't told me what it was yet."

"Well if you'd let me explain before those vines of your's grabbed me I would have."

"I first wanted this first though." she winked at him.

"You really were thirsty."

"I'm only human."

"Get over here." He gave her one more full kiss on her orange lips before he went to the bathroom. He had his cell phone with him. He called Jay.

" _Ring Ring"_

"Yeah.", He said on the other line. Joker sounded tired ;).

"Pamela says she's with your initiative."

"Do you know what time it is Harvey?", He looked to the old cuckoo clock above the door and saw it was 2:17 a.m..

"My bad Jay, I didn't mean to wake you."

"You got laid didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"I thought I heard a change in your tone."

"You're funny."

"I've been told." Jay was feeling a movement in his bed. "Puddin?", she said very tiredly.

"I'll talk to you later Harv.", Joker turns his phone off. Harley wakes from her slumber in her clown's arms.

"Who was that sweetie?"

"Harvey called me about future endeavours. The bastard didn't consider the fact that we were sleeping. I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep sweets."

"It's alright Mistah J. Let's just go back to sleep."

"Yes sweets." The two got back into the cuddling position and fell back into the starting stages before entering REM sleep. Imagine what can pop up the mind of an insane person.

….

The Pale Man

Static is shown until a random pizza delivery boy who identifies as an attack helicopter appears out of the white dots to pull down a large pepperoni with cyanide dipping sauce inside his warming oven full of knowledge.

"Oh look dinner.", said the pale man with a lack of enthusiasm.

"Jack." A voice was spoken which seemed to appear from any direction.

"Who's there?" Turning around he see's a lavender colored club as you'd see on a playing card.

"It's me your unconscious presence."

"This is some unsatisfactory exposition."

"Ah Jack you're two cent's are always appreciated."

"How is it that you keep calling me Jack. I prefer Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime, or the Ace of Knaves."

"That's the name you're mother gave you when she first saw those vibrant green eyes you own."

"This is just fresh, you think that I care about that. You do realize that my memory isn't exactly stellar, It tends to happen when you take a swim in toxic chemicals."

"What about Genie?"

"Who's Genie?"

"Your wife."

"That's not true, I've never been married. I have some plans for Harley but that's not until the right moment hits and all my plans are put into play."

"She was pregnant Jack, she was electrocuted from a defective baby bottle heater she wanted to test out for your first born son."

"Now this is where I end the conversation.", Joker grabs an AK-74u from the air and starts shooting the apparition. The bullets penetrate and it bleeds purple slime for blood. The last words before the club dies was whispered: "Red Hood." Immediately he was dropped onto a wooden train track with black background showing vast emptiness. Joker can't see normally, his vision was red from the hood that was stuck to his head. He was being chased by a giant floating man-bat demon hybrid. He pulled out his razor sharp deck and started throwing them. He made the bat bleed then it disappeared from existence.

"Batsy, you I can never forget, you made me. I'm the other side of the coin to your duality."

"Are you sure I made you or did I just exploit your true ugly interior as a human being?" Batman was all he could hear. But he keep on with the trail.

"What would be without me Bats? Me, Harvey, Pammie, Jonathan, Jervis, Freeze and so on, huh? You need us because how else would you satisfy that urge to keep your mind at ease from whatever trauma you experience that you can never truly repress?"

" _Silence"_

"That's what I thought." Climbing up a ladder, he can see a vat of an unknown mixture of chemicals giving it a nasty green hue. Standing at the edge he stares at it. He doesn't realize that the bat spawn pushed him in. He starts to suffocate being in the pool of acid for a minute until the hood slips off like butter was rubbed on his head. He traveled through piping that lead him to a road in the industrial Boiler district,he sees his reflection in the puddle from a pothole.

"Well hello handsome." Admiring himself with his signature look. All he could do was laugh.

"And here we start the cycle.", said the Bat.

"At least you have something to keep you busy."

"It's nice to have a life as well though."

"Oh Bats you're not the type to have a life, you enjoy our company to much."

"Putting you freaks away and keeping Gotham safe is enough for me."

"You have it all wrong I want Gotham to laugh and die with a smile on their face. But recently someone took that focus away."

"I know, the mysterious woman I haven't I.D. yet. I've had your acquaintances to deal with lately."

"Yeah I'm not the only fish in the pond but I am the biggest."

"Then why aren't you performing your usual actions against humanity?"

"Because there's someone in my life. Someone that is there for me no matter what. She gives me this feeling that was foreign in the beginning but with time it manifested into something I could accept and appreciate. She gives me all her love and frankly I want that. I don't know how I really functioned all these years without it. I actually care for another human being. I actually have an emotion besides laughter and pain. I love her and I always will."

There was a prolonged silence.

"See ya later Batsy, don't worry you'll see me sooner than you think. I need to see Harleen."

And with that everything went black.

….


	20. Inside the doctor's head

"Where am I?" Harley said looking for anything, a sign even to give her clarity. Walking around a black square in space she see's a neighborhood out in the vast distance. It has the spherical shape of an orb but this was not starting off to soundly.

"Huh, that's not exactly in the right place." She see's that the distance between the neighborhood and the floating black square she's walking on is quite far. Suddenly she notices that the square is starting to shrink. Before deciding between vast emptiness and what she should make for dinner tomorrow, she jumps for self preservation. Looking around there's nothing but the neighborhood in front of her. The jump took her higher off the ground than expected. Gravity was lacking for now but it worked in her favor. She can feel the realm sucking her in.

"Oh boy this is gonna be interesting." A popping noise is made when her feet touch the grass. Looking around it had a familiar look only Harley would recognize.

"This is my grandmother's house in Long Island, The house was a victorian original piece with handcrafted stone. There were wide open windows that gave a full view of the property. It was where her family went every winter for the Holiday's to celebrate Hanukkah for eight days. A small tear is formed in her left eye.

"I miss her." She wipes the tear and starts heading towards the house. She enters the front door to see the elegant marble setting to the main hall. Her memories are starting to form with her dream but is paused by a noise.

" _Hehehehe."_

She recognizes the that laugh from anywhere. "Puddin is that you?" As she walks inside the main living room all she can see is a happy little family. Something was different though, it was her family. She sees Jay and herself, they were a little older in appearance but what caught Harley's attention was the little two kids sitting with them.

"Wait we have kids?" She says with much excitement to the idea of having beloved clowns children. She looks at herself well her "future" self. There was something having a sparkle hitting in the light on her left hand.

"Man I need to get contacts." It sparkled again in the light fixture from her great aunt Abra Quinzelle.

"Okay kiddies time for dinner." Jay said to their little rascals. As the children ran into the decadent dining hall he grabs his Harley by the arm and pulls her around her waist. "Happy anniversary sweets " he says opening a thin red box showing a pearl necklace. He places it around her neck and holds her sensually in the moment.

"Ohh puddin I love you."

"I love you too." The two share a passionate kiss that only lovers can relate to.

"Eeeeek. I can't believe I'm married. Mistah J proposes to me, yes yes yes. He's so gonna get some now."

In her bursts of excitement, she notices that the noises didn't cause a reaction from the two clowns in this dream. Wondering how far she can take this, she decided to test this theory because why not.

She randomly picks up an old priceless vase that belonged in the family for generations. She threw it against the wall and nothing changed, no one bat an eyelash or flinched from the sound of the impact.

The happy family were set together along the polished oak dining table. Jay stands up and starts carving the golden brown turkey.

"Wait is it thanksgiving?" She turns to the calendar in the kitchen to notice that it was indeed November 28th. "So Mistah J proposes to me on Thanksgiving. Awwwwwww. Not what I would suspect from him, I wonder what kind of joke deals with Thanksgiving?"

" _Thanks puddin."_

She returns to the dining hall and sees the happy family again. Technically it's her future family but she still had to keep it in the back of her head that this is still a dream. "God I hope this how the future goes. I love this dream. Even if it's not exactly the same, I just want to be with my puddin."

She glances at the two children with so much adortion. The one sitting on the right end of the table was a little girl. She looked to be the youngest of the two. She had blonde pigtails that made Harley weep a little.

"It's like a mini me." The weep was escalating but she had to keep strong, the was just a dream after all right?

"Daddy can I have a big piece please?" The little girl asks.

"Of course Arleen." Jay carves a big piece of turkey for the growing daughter. He stands and brings her the plate. "Here you go princess." Jay kisses the top of her forehead. Arleen chuckles like her own mother making Harley's heart swell.

"I need to leave before I flood the house with tears. This isn't certain though, none of this can happen. Or all of it can happen just exactly as how I saw it. I guess we'll just have to wait and see." She looks at her skinny stomach and holds it. "Someday."

A white flash covers the dream into light and nothing else.

…

Harley plops up in the air with her eyes wide. She turns to see Jay still sleeping with a full smile.

"Awwww." She said in a low tone. "My mind is so dysfunctional."

"That's why we're perfect for each other." He said lowly twisting and turning needing to finding the right position. "How was your dream sweets?" He coddled her in his embrace.

"Oh it was nothing puddin. I was pretending I was a T-1000." She gave him a peck on the lips.

"I'm looking for Sarah Connor, "unexplained noise"." Jay said with an Austrian accent.

"Hahahahaha, ah Mistah J I bet your dream was a hell of alot more interesting."

"Yes...of course." She noticed the hesitation in his answer.

"Was there something that happened in your dream?"

"I saw the vat of acid. A demon man bat threw me in leaving me to drown in with a red vision as my last sight before the darkness consumed my sense."

"I'm sorry puddin." She held him tightly. He was paralyzed by the support he has been receiving lately. He never knew how deals with these new emotions. All he could do was muster one simple phrase, "Thank you."

"I'll always be here for you Mistah J, I love you."

"I love you too Harleen."

…

And with that all I can say is Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good night.


	21. Temporary Allies

In an abandoned warehouse in the shipping docks of the Cauldron District of Gotham.

"We all take this meeting to order NOW." Joker yelled humorless.

"Excuse me but this isn't the norm, look at us. What the hell do you think order is you childish nitwit." Scarecrow pointed out.

"Look at you trying not to be profound. How about use some adult words to give your insults more momentum Jonathan."

"Jay why call us to this warehouse now at midnight, Batman is patrolling the skies at night searching for trouble?" Two-Face asked.

"What's wrong Harv scared of the big old Batman?" Ivy mocked while sticking out her tongue.

"Oh you are such a bitch." Harvey pulls out a gun to aim it at Pamela.

"Bring it on meatsack, my plants will enjoying you as compost for next years harvest." Pam aims her custom gauntlet crossbow right between Dent's eyes.

"Well this is quite awkward, if you don't mind keeping the noise down we're having tea." The Mad Hatter enjoying his specially brewed black tea with The Riddler and Manbat.

"What? Where did you get that table Jervis?" Joker asked a little dumbstruck.

"Oh my dear Alice suggested that I bring it for the guests isn't that right gentlemen." Both simultaneously nodded a yes. "See."

"Oh for the love of…" Joker rubbed his nose in frustration. "You placed the playing cards on their neck didn't you?"

Jervis said nothing but continue to drink his tea nonchalantly.

Jay simply said one word to his lack of a response "Croc." Killer Croc went to the table examine Edward's neck. There was a Joker ironically adhesively stuck to his back neck.

"I don't have time for this shit." Joker threw Jervis out of the warehouse. Croc peeled the playing cards off of both necks. Jervis had his coat tattered and his table was thrown at him. "Jervis, old pal you're welcomed back when you control that nasty little desire of your's. Remember that was a "grown" man and an actual human bat you brainwashed, not a little girl." Before he closed the steel door he gave him some advice, "The Playground is 30 minutes west of here, too da loo." He made a quick glimpse at Eddie and Langstrom (Manbat). They were starting to gain their free will again. "For an old pedophile, he is slick and quiet. Now the next situation to resolve was the "happy couple". "Excellent just one more bone to break." Joker snuck behind Pamela and pushed her into Harvey's chest. "Your welcome."

"What the hell is your problem clown?" Pamela was pissed, more than usual.

"Look I'm no psychologist but I am having sex with one and honestly you two just need to release pressure." He made some rather disturbing hand gestures.

"What is wrong with you man?" Jonathan asked rhetorically.

"Hey maybe you could also benefit from some relaxation. I'm sure Jervis can assist you, hehe." He gave a throated chuckle.

"We have a completely platonic relationship."

"Do alcoholics drink?"

"What?"

" _Bang bang bang bang."_ Joker put away his gold 9mm. "Now let's get back to business at hand shall we?" Everyone gets back in their seats as originally planned.

"I believe it's time we finish off the crime families of Gotham.", said Penguin smoking his Cuban cigar.

"Oh Pengers you took the words right out of my mouth."

"This will not be an easy task Joker." Riddler inquired. "Falcone and Maroni have deep ties to Mayor Hill and Commissioner Loeb."

"Yes with the GCPD in their pocket, we'll need to work together." said Harvey.

"What about Batman?", Scarecrow mentioned.

"Don't worry about Batman." Everybody gave him a shocked expression. "What?"

"Jay it's just you seem to be connected to Batman." Harvey pointed.

"Yeah an unhealthy connection, more of an obsession." Jonathan added.

"Almost to the point where people thought you were in l…"

"I get it." Joker interrupted Ivy. "Batman will be taken care of I assure you. He's not on the top of my list of endless priorities for now."

"Dam Jay she must have really gotten under your skin."

"You have no idea Harvey."

"I don't remember her Harv."

"Well you were pretty drunk Pammie."

"All courtesy of the Oswald's legendary hospitality." Joker said lazily.

"I'm a man of professionalism."

"More like a bloodthirsty parasite with the pursuit of absolute power." Riddler whispered to Jonathan.

"WHAT WAS THAT YOU FILTHY RAT?" Penguin set the edge of his cane blade to Nygma's neck.

"ENOUGH!" Joker shot the blade out of Cobblepot's hand. "Oswald you will keep the weapons caches off the records besides the eight of us. The availability is key to wherever the destination is set in the city. Ivy, your plants can set toxic spores that will cover half of Maroni's turf in the Woodland regions. Harvey, I need that binary mentality of yours to decide how we are going to kill Falcone and Maroni. As well as ways to kill the boys in blue. Eddie, the possibilities are endless. Hacking is a skill you have certainly proven to Gotham Bank. The objective for you is to intercept GCPD communications, send them off the beaten path. Jonathan, fear, simple enough. Maybe tamper with Gotham's water supply sounds familiar huh. Croc is muscle and Manbat is our eye in the sky."

"Okay that should do for now Joker." Scarecrow simply said.

"What about Harley?" Harvey asked.

"She'll have her own part to play, everyone has to start somewhere." He simply noted. "Now I will set up another meeting soon for future affairs but until then I have something very important to attend to." With that he left the warehouse and entered into his purple Lamborghini. "Ah the memories." He pulls onto the Gotham Freeway pulling 100mph. "Good thing it's midnight. I wonder if sweets is sleeping?"

….

Back at the loft.

"I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)

I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah." Harley was singing in the shower getting ready for bed. "I hope my puddin is safe. I can't sleep without him." She always worry for him but hey love does that to a person. Sometimes that's all that matters in life.

After the shower Harley puts on her pink cashmere robe and sits on the bed. The door is opened in the living room. "Honey I'm home." Harley runs into Jay and gives him a death hug.

"PUDDIN!"

"Miss me?" He chuckled.

"Always."

"Time for bed pooh." He carried her off to bed for some well deserved slumber.


	22. Happy Holidays To All

December in Gotham City brings an unspoken tradition of care and nurture to one's fellow man. People were under a different mind set during this magical time of the year, take away all of our differences we are all the same species. Men hold the door for women, shop keepers bring in the disadvantaged for a hot meal, and even the most cynical person can show some basic human compassion for the world despite his or her true nature.

In the Joker's or now the clown couples loft, the two were setting up the place to "represent" festivities of the end of this interesting year. Let's just say Jay wasn't exactly accustomed for what his little girl had in mind.

"Why are we setting this up Harley? It seems a little out of place." Harley has been let's just say a little festive during the merry season. The loft contained a mixture of christmas and hanukkah decorations that somewhat went together but he had to admit she was a cute.

"My mom was catholic and my dad was jewish so I decided to take the best from both worlds." All said while she put a silver star of David on top of the Christmas tree. "This doesn't seem politically correct does it?" She asked putting a menorah in a Jesus like figures hands.

"Not unless you assume it's gender but lets save that topic for Reddit." Harley grabs some tinsel and begins wrapping it like tin foil. "Ouuu shiny."

" _Heh."_ Jokers half-laugh made her pout mockingly.

"What is it Mistah J?" She walked to him slowly.

"I find it amusing how people can put so much for these business driven holidays."

"There's more to it than just profit margins. It's about spending time with those you want to be with." She pulls out the mistletoe somewhat subtle. "With who you love." The two lean in but she trips over a rabbi nutcracker. He catches her with swiftness.

"Maybe lets finish the "unique" decorating later pumpkin okay?" He tickles her under arm making it impossible for a grin not to show, especially a chuckle.

"Yes puddin." Joker carries Harley to the couch in the living room. It faced the frame that overlooked the courtyard of Gotham's nightlife scenery. The snow started to fall gradually setting a soft layer on the surface of the city. The loft had only candles lit for the mood. The happy couple were together in each others embrace and the night couldn't get any better. A sudden ding caught the attention of the clowns.

"That's the timer."

"Watcha make Jay?"

"You'll see." Jay ran into the kitchen to put the late dinner together as a closure for the night. A few minutes later he brought a random tray into the dining room. He felt quite proud of himself with this dish. He noticed Harley tracked the scent of their meal and her stomach growled. Jay grinned.

"Ouu it smells delicious."

"Voila sweets." Revealing the dish to be was a plate of pesto on top of farfalle noodles with a pinch of parmesan of top with a side of breadsticks. Drink of choice is a nice Riesling white wine with a high alcohol content. During the meal laughs are exchanged as well as quite a few kisses.

"These breadsticks are tasty puddin." She washes down the baked bread with some more wine.

"I saved my breadstick for dessert sweets." She spits out her wine giggling insanely. He joined escalating the noise of the laughter.

"Ah Mistah J come here." He gets up and walks to her side of the table. He knows slips on a dreidel that had crucifixes painted on each side of it.

"Fuck. Eh at least I didn't feel that." Now looking at what he tripped all was said was: "Now I'm not a man of god but that feels a little sacrilegious pumpkin."

"Hahahaha." She slipped the glass to the point most of the Riesling met the floor. "God this is so sweet tasting."

"Okay now I'm definitely taking the bottle from you. You can't handle your alcohol sweets." He picks up his ecstatic clown who starts babbling random phrases.

"Whatchu mean hooooowwww?"

"It's time for bed beautiful."

"You wanna know how I got these scars?"

"Now that sounds like me with some tequila."

"Daddy?" She asks with innocence.

"Yes love?" Oh he couldn't wait for what she was gonna ask him.

"Do you think the ocean is salty because the land never waves back?"

"..."

"Puddin?"

"I believe we should take a shower to freshen ourselves up a little."

"Yaaaaaa."

In the bathroom he undresses her slowly and seductively. Unclipping the bra with his teeth sent waves of anticipation throughout her body. Heat returning to her pale cheeks from his movements. It was like she was putty in his hands with his foreplay advancing to her nether regions. He can feel the moisture in her panties starting to gush with anticipation.

"Was dinner that good?" He asked with a wide grin. But suddenly he noticed a single tear escape her eye. "What's wrong sweets?" She became a little emotional.

"I'm so happy that I get to spend the holidays with someone I love."

He pinches her nose playfully. "Me too pooh. This time of the year I would usually be leaving explosive gifts for the little boys and girls of this fair city ending their year with a bang but now that feels less important because I have you in my life. I never asked for anything during the holidays because I already have everything I ever wanted." She pulls him into the tub and started ripping off the suit off his back. This is a shower where you feel dirtier coming out than you did coming in huh.

"The body wash was a nice substitute for lubricate huh." Jay asked Harley in their bed both panting heavily after the act of love making.

"Ohhhhh yeah." She was now tired and needed more than eight hours of sleep.

"Goodnight pumpkin."

"Goodnight puddin, I love you."

"I love you too Harleen." She wrapped herself around her clown for warmth. He welcomed her clingy nature. Even though he couldn't stand the holidays she made it tolerable with that giggle of hers. Slowly closing his eyes and seeing nothing he felt peace knowing that she would be there next to him in the morning showing her smile that enticed him in the first place.

4:27 a.m. the Joker's eyes open like they were preprogrammed to. He noticed that Harley's grip was still strong but he quietly untied himself from her. "Don't worry pooh I'll be back in a jiffy, keep the bed warm for daddy's arrival." He pulled more of the sheets over her to keep her warm, the loft could get cold during the winter. Joker heads to the garage and enters his purple lamborghini and drives to one of his black sites. He decided that Miagani island was a great place for setup. To an "abandoned" warehouse he presses a button on the dashboard which opens the gate. Parking outside he enters the dark building with a devilish grin. "It's Christmas time for the proud citizens of Gotham city." Grabbing lots of presents he places them in a gigantic sack and ties it. He open the roof of the warehouse to give an open view of the falling moon. The sky reached that perfect light-dark blue hue that makes you want to take a picture so it will last longer. He walked to the corner of the warehouse a pulled off a comically sized cloth that covered a big metal object. Under it was a hijacked batwing from one of the many romps the two endured over the years. Even though it was shaped from the dork knight he renovated it with a custom paint job that had green, red, and purple all over. Multiple Ha's and bloody smiles carved in the hood of the " _Winged Jester"._ On the side was a little phrase engraved that fit the style of the aircraft: " _It's gonna be one hell of a ride."_ Putting the sack in the back he starts the ignition that brung the engine to a howling roar.

"Oh batsy is sooo working the holidays this year." Lifting up the lever the Winged Jester levitates to the sky and takes off at near supersonic speeds. Flying for a couple a minutes to get the handle right, he begins to drop the presents through the back hatch. They fell thru windows of skyscrapers, light poles, and a few that rolled down into the Metro tunnels. Don't worry he didn't want forget the suburbs too. Flying thru the valley the gifts goes into the chimneys of multiple homes and establishments. Looking at the sunrise he should head back to his Harlequin. He heads back to the warehouse to place the Winged Jester back in hiding. Levitating over the warehouse the snow stops for a brief minute. "There gonna be some bloody snow in today's forecast." Placing the cloth over it he heads back to his car. Taking his sweet time driving to the loft he sees no one in the streets, for only this time of the year the streets of Gotham are quiet. It's one of those rare times he appreciates the silence. After a few relaxing strolls around the district he reached his home. Parking the car in the garage he stumbles up the steps. "I underestimated how fast Mach 3 was hehe." Taking off his clothes to get back into bed with his Harley he grabs her arms and wrap them around him. He took a quick glance to the clock on the wall to it was 8:00 a.m. "Time to unwrap the presents.", he whispered to not wake her up. All the presents had a timer set at 8:01 a.m. for a morning surprise. Staring at the clock the big hand moved and the magic happened all over Gotham except for their district of course. The explosions were heard for miles and screams traveled further. Ironically it wasn't the devastation outside that woke up Harley, it was Joker's "attempt" to suppress his laughter. His smile was the first thing she saw and already she was off to a happy day. His laugh was truly intoxicating.

"Hahahahahahahaha."

"Merry Christmas Harley Quinn." The two shared a passionate kiss that made the day truly start with a bang.

…

Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night.


	23. Doubt and Revelations

"Sometimes I wonder what my purpose really is for this city now. What occurred in my past as a young child sparked the ambition to save innocents and the victims of this diseased city. The trauma was enough for anyone to grab a shaving blade and start playing connect the dots showing the distress I faced in the beginning after their unfortunate demise. It only escalated with me standing on the edge of a gargoyle looking down at the river beneath me. It was simple, all I had to do was just step forward and I would be back with my parents. I wondered whether the impact of the water would break my neck or the fall would cause a heart attack due to the height. A step forward seemed easy but I knew I couldn't do anything, I froze with realization. No matter what I choose, it wouldn't bring them back. I whispered the word justice under the cold breath that night. Justice seemed improbable, hell impossible at the time but with their case unsolved I had the obligation to catch the killer and give myself some closure. The man was a low life, he was popular in Blackgate and had connections with underground operations in Gotham. At my age there wasn't alot I could do. My influence in the city didn't arise until I took control of my father's company. I kept the family legacy going for the time being but retribution never left my mind, it was only temporarily delayed. Later I left Gotham for almost a decade to travel the world and learn my current skill sets from some extraordinary men and women. When I came back there was some improvising for some of my nemeses.

This wasn't all for one man, this was for a promise I set before I saw the caskets slowly descend six feet in the ground. I promised that one day this city would be cleansed of the vile that circulate its veins. Nobody would be afraid to walk the streets of night in fear of meeting their creator, thieves and criminals would be faced trial for their actions to show the citizens that I wasn't judge, jury, and executioner. Law and order still had a position in this corrupt city. The original goal I intended was that no child would ever have to watch their parents be gunned down by a petty man with no disregard for humanity. With time it became so much more than that. I caught the man who created what I am today and all I could say was "thank you". He looked puzzled by my phrase but without him none of this would have been happened. Without my second identity I wouldn't be saving people from the darkness I face every night in our modest world. There would not be a universal symbol that sent chills through criminals backs. He expected me to kill him as he saw the vengeful expression on my face but I knew I had to withdraw myself. Death would be a gift to that man, to end his miserable existence from this unforgiving world but how would that make me any different from him. Only closure I seeked was justice through the Gotham judicial system and now he spends every day in an iron cell wasting $50,000 of taxpayer money every year.

Now today things are not the same as you know. Most criminals I fight now are no longer gangbangers and weapon dealers. These meta humans aren't a phenomena anymore. The rogues never seemed like a speck of grass in a field, now their becoming full grown weeds that I have to chop down. Falcone and Maroni have had their differences over the decades but with new enemies rising to take the mantel of this city they can no longer hold differences between them in the war. Together their a strong coalition however I'm not sure they will make it through. Unfortunately communities are ravaged from these controlled attacks orchestrated from a man in purple and green."

"What are you plans to prevent further bloodshed Bruce?"

"I hope Luscious will have a new toy I can try out tonight when I visit the discarded district of the Narrows."

"Well Bruce thank you for sharing with me today. I'll be expecting a follow up next week. Good luck Mr. Wayne."

"Don't worry Dr. Tompkins I'll be around soon."

...

"What is it that drives a man to perform such acts of heroism? Many would consider him a hero but I consider him to be a liar. To think that he can save everyone from the natural state of our conscious: insanity. Now before you abjure my previous statement take a second to think of his methods, he drags me and many other to this institution to become rehabilitated and become "functioning" members of society. I can't speak for the other guys but moi has to object to the notion of society. Many believe the two sides of that table. Right and wrong, good or bad, light versus darkness, etc. One who performs acts against humanity are to be punished by those who be deemed worthy of assigning said punishment. There's no punishing those who are truly enlightened. Insanity is the "sanity" society misinterprets. Once you are free from the shackles of the depressing sanity you try to cling to every morning, you'll look yourself in the mirror and a smile will appear on that pretty face of yours.

No dear you're gorgeous, I can tell however that you're afraid of showing the world your true nature but don't worry, your secret is safe with me I promise scouts honor. There's nothing wrong with taking a leap to true sanity. Now that smirk means that you still wish to listen. Others won't smirk, their scared to face life without hesitation but not me, no I grab the bastard by the balls and laugh at it's expression of mercy holding fear of what they don't understand.

Ah you're laugh is a little intoxicating I'm not going to lie. If only Batman would deem my humor funny as well. He has daddy issues I'm sure. He had to experience some trauma in his life to dress up as a bat and beat low lifes to a bloody pulp at night. How can I judge him you ask? It's simple actually, his actions lead nowhere. Turning us into this gothic mansion for "treatment" only to escape by slitting a couple orderlies throats is quite repetitive and boring. Don't get me wrong I live for these sessions beautiful.

He won't dare kill any of the "lost and damned" because he will taint his image of pure justice and the "incorruptible" light that shines on the darkness of this black city.

Oh no love I never considered killing him, well the thought crossed my crazy brain sometimes hehe but I never found passion in the potential act. He's just too much fun to me. The others would probably disagree but he amuses me. To watch someone fight when in the end it won't make a difference in this city is the biggest joke of all. Yes there's influence but hell we all have influence on individuals. I'm sure I've swayed you on certain topics " _wink"_.

It's okay to blush sweets, I can have that effect on some of the young nurses. Don't worry I'm not interested in those kids, I find their boss enticing. Okay now I definitely heard that soft chuckle that makes grin. Your attire is sending me signals I swear. Obviously red suits you very well and that pencil skirt o baby I'm a believer."

"You're quite the charmer Mistah J." said in her natural Brooklyn accent.

"There's the harlequin I hear."

...


	24. Time for Preservation

There's a lack of presence of her clown to assist her with the busy day before the new year. We see her at the Costco down with a shopping cart full of a variety of imported wine to celebrate with her love. She wondered where he was but this wasn't the first time he dropped off the face of the earth. There was an understanding that being the most intimidating man in Gotham had its responsibilities. She knew she was being somewhat clingy however he hasn't refused her impulses lately, instead he welcomed it and she's has been loving it. However the thought of him in a store buying wine was outlandish. Just imagine the teenage cashier serving him, he would shit his pants scared. The joke was that he'd probably kill the kid with a seven pound block of gouda. Talk about a cheesy death. The image, seeing him with his hands bloody after brutally murdering an individual was starting a little trickle of excitement in her velvet red satin panties. She started rubbing the cork of a bottle in her cart. (God she hopes he'll be home soon. And hopefully some tender domination will be given).

"That will be $184.30 miss." The pimply teenager told her. She tuned in from a zone out. Reaching her purse to grab her debit card, good thing she was a paid psychiatrist with money to burn. It wasn't like she had a family to support. Not yet at least hehe. Swiping the debit card through the machine she begins to hear a family behind her, the baby was crying and the mother having a peeved expression. Only Harley would keep a wide smile around babies no matter what scenario. The thought of having her puddin's baby or potentially babies made her tear up a little.

"A tissue miss?" Harley grabbed the tissue from the employee and wipes the few tears from her cheeks. She then finished the electronic transaction.

"Thank you." Blowing her nose she hears the receipt tear and grabs it from the cashier. Taking her cart to the front entrance she feels a little disappointed that she didn't have younglings but hell time is unpredictable, anything can happen. Maybe she forgets to take her birth control and has her puddin give her a large cream filling to her pastry. God he is so gonna need an oxygen after she gets her hands on him. Exiting the store a midnight purple Acura NSX pulls up in front of her with a black Cadillac suv following. She was a little confused until the sliding door from the driver side opened and her beloved pulled out (this was the only time he was pulling out tonight) of the sleek car.

"Hello darling." In one of his many custom suits. This time it was gunmetal silver with a dark maroon shirt.

"Mistah J!" She ran to hug him and he embraced her gracefully. He savored these moments but he had to be quick. A Costco in daylight isn't discrete. He noticed a couple shocked expressions but they wouldn't dare say anything because...do I really need to explain this again?

"Sweets come with me."

"What about the wine…."

"David's got the groceries."

"And the Audi in the…"

"Blaine has a replica of your keys and he will drop it off at the home. Blaine if you scratch the car you will receive some scratches from moi, you get me?" He said darkly but keeping a permanent grin.

"Of course sir. The car will be just how she left it."

"Good now everybody go, I have a new year to spend with my harlequin of hate." With his lackeys leaving the two Joker takes Harley to the passenger seat of his coupe. Starting the car, roaring the engine made gear heads turn a shoulder. He puts the gear in D4 and revs the car to spin off to the city in Founders Island.

"This is a bitchin car puddin, whereja get it?"

"From a discrete dealer I pay with hush hush money. This world is too focused on currency. Honestly if you want something just snatch it before someone else does."

"Looks like I snatched you up than Mistah J."

"Yes but remember I snatched your attention the first time we saw each other."

"Yeah, you were so different from the news reports on the tv. So stunning, still stunning of course but I was dumbstruck by your appearance."

"Same sweets when I saw you staring at me through the glass I became mesmerized by those azul marbles you possess. How can a woman be so beautiful and work in a dingy insane asylum? I knew by your astonishment that you seeked something more in life, actual thrill and adventure, something to end your abysmal routine schedule, someone to put a smile on your face."

"And I love you for it." She leaned to give him a peck on the cheek. His reflexes made the kiss mouth oriented.

"I love you too pumpkin. Wanna know why I picked you up?"

"Yes actually, I was just about to head to the loft to set up for the magical night." Her intentions were already planned in the Costco. She can't have the idea of being a mother out of her head. He is going to be so drained tonight.

"I have a stop or two for you because I believe you, the one who truly understands me should enter the next and final step of your impeccable transformation."

"Awww puddin ya shouldn't have." This day is gonna be incredible. She had no idea what was waiting for next.

Driving down to the docks next to Gotham Bay he parks the NSX behind the warehouse on the far end of the docks. The Joker had many establishments set up across this so to become fallen city. Opening the door he leads her in and turns on the lights. There was a person with a black sack over his head. Appearance showed him to be beaten badly and bloody.

"One of my gifts to you my love, your first victim." Harley was a little timid of taking a life but he had to hear him out.

"Who is he?"

"A very bad man, one who takes advantage of anyone that comes in his path, one who murders women and sexually assaults children. He puts on a mask when he faces society every day but shows his true nature when no one looks. This is an example of how putting on a mask is pathetic. I see so many people in this city put on a mask and it personally makes me sick to my stomach. I don't wear a mask, trust me I'm all natural baby. I show the world who I am and don't hold back from acting with the one I love no matter what anyone thinks, I never cared about what anyone thought of me. That was until I saw you walk in with your pretty attire showing society that you were apart of them. You never were, you kept yourself hidden but soon with time and some help from daddy the harlequin arose to the surface and she makes me feel emotions I thought were completely erased from my mind from the accident. Here's the last step, my little girl has made so proud to be alive and kicking. I love you Harleen Quinzel." He hands Harley her revolver and she checks the chamber. One bullet, one man, one less damaged soul to hurt others. Lifting up the sack she see's the man, terrified, crying, regretting his life choices. She backs up to her clown. Turning to him she says with a look of complete adortion: "You are my world."

" _Bang."_

A bullet hole in the head showed some smoke lifting into the air as well from the barrel. His smile couldn't be more wide, reminded one of the cheshire cat's grin.

"Come with me." He pulled her outside of the warehouse. She was a little concerned of what he was gonna die but her nerves calmed when smacked his lips with hers. This action was never denied, she never missed the chance to be connected with her clown prince of crime. Once the kiss braked after ten minutes both shared the look of fiery passion growing. "Let's go home." Both ran to the car. Driving down Gotham square Jay had to be slightly cautious, hitting someone at 90 would ruin his car. Harley didn't exactly help by some deliberate teasing. She reaches her hand down his pants and starts rubbing his growing erection, let's say he had a distraction. The roads had minimum to low traffic. She wanted him to get them home so he can drive her home. The thought of him fucking her was really starting the sprinkler. Noticing a unopened lollipop in the side door storage she grabs it and starts sucking. He punched the roof of the interior out of slight sexual frustration.

"Oh you little tease, you're so gonna get some." She seductively licks the lollipop in response and smiles.

"Yes daddy."

Reaching the loft he parked in the garage and jolted to the other side shocking her. Picked her up bridal style to the shower, undressing each other their kissing becomes more intense. Fondling her breasts she releases a soft moan. He licks one while pinches the other nipple. Her left hand buried itself in his sleek green hair and the other started tugging his pole. The speed grew just as fast as the heat in the room. Beware of friction burn. Pressing her against the _wall_ he licks her head to toe, she spit on her hand lubricate his hard cock. The licking centered at her clitoruos making her clench against the tiles.

"Ouuu daddy I want you cock inside me."

"As you wish my sweet." Adjusting her position she grabs the metal bars set up across the shower and held a tight grasp. He aims his rod and forces it inside her tight wet pussy. The support helped take it all in, all of his love.

"More." His thrusting continued but the little girl wanted more.

"Goddam your pussy is pure bliss." Pounding increased with momentum as time passed to which his Harley squirted. He felt his own climax coming but he wanted it to last longer but he knew it wouldn't be the last time tonight. His moaning grew heavy and Harley could feel his hot sticky sperm inside her moist pussy. He pulled out and she licked the cream off his meatpole. Both laid on the shower panting, Jay simply said: "Let's begin the New Year's celebration." He dried off his Harley and she dried him off. Today isn't over yet hehe.


	25. Happy New Year

Earlier that day Jay strolled in his Acura NSX to the Bowery heading to Fabulous to retrieve something special for his little harlequin. Upon entering the building he stared at the decor of the establishment's interior, "This place has more statues than Cobblepots mansion."

"And he never lets that down, I swear he is such a drama queen." Winston said appearing from the fern back entrance.

"Yeah but you are biggest queen in Gotham's underworld."

"I try Jay." The two head to his office on the second floor. It was made completely of black marble, windows overlooking the harbor and a couple built in wardrobes for his dresses and costumes for certain unorthodox activities. "Okay honey I sized it to the measurements you gave me earlier last month and the designs you suggested but for the purpose of this suit I wanted to send the world a message." He searched through his cabinets for the Joker's order.

"I believe you."

"WAIT!" His abrupt outburst grabbed the Joker's attention.

"What is it Winston?"

"I need to but some triple A batteries for my New Years party tonight." Jay smirked to his comment.

"Should I guess or does the ball gag on your desk give it away?" Winston pretended to look embarrassed.

"Oh no how did that get there. I was beginning to start a checklist of tools I needed for tonight before you showed up. But I digress, I think I found 's suit." Pulling out the suit Jay was absolutely astonished from the design. It was a skin tight suit tailored to Harley's measurements. The color schemes were of the binary approach with red and black. The color design split up into three section. This included the headpiece, as one side was red the other was black and in vice versa. Three harlequin diamonds in red on her right left leg and two black harlequin diamonds on the left arm. The headpiece had two tails for her beautiful pigtails. The endpoints had white plush balls. The balls were also attached to the tails on her neck piece. The shoes to go with the suit were robin hood esque but were red and black. This was perfect for her.

"So what do think Jay?" Winston couldn't suppress his smile.

"Did you also make an extra for the bedroom?"

"Of course, that would be just awful if your clown fetish wasn't utilized." He pulled up a replica but this had more zippers installed. "I also have some pumps to match with these as accessories. Included with the rest free of charge."

"You a genius Winston."

"Oh stop sugar you're making me blush." Jay wrote a generous check for his friend. "This is too much Jay." Looking at the number of zero's.

"Consider it my New Year's present."

"Give Harley my best."

"I will Winston." Before he left he gave Winston a hug. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year Jay." And with that Joker heads home to hid his present in the bedroom. After everything was set up he called some of his henchmen to follow him as he drove to the Costco to pick up his Harley.

"Mistah J what are you doing here?"

...

The happy couple were setting up dinner in the kitchen. He was teaching her a few techniques with cooking their meal.

"Pass the Allspice sweets."

"Thank you for teaching me how to cook some of your dishes."

"My pleasure, it benefits the both of us. I get to leave you some culinary knowledge I've learned from my past and we don't consume charred "edibles" for breakfast." He grinned to her darting her tongue out in his face.

"I know I'm not a great cook. My mother never cared to show me how to do simple things. Martha Stewart tried but she was guilty of tax evasion."

"Yeah when I began my life in Gotham after well you know," He points at his face. Harley comes up to him to give him a kiss. "I had nothing at first, using old pots for soup and stolen dishes for casseroles. The oven I used was around during the depression. Two out of four burners defective. I felt defective during my campaign of endless humor, being a criminal was new and exciting, still is exciting but I struggled with my urges of the dark passenger in my preconscious. That was until I met someone special, someone with masochistic side, someone who understands me and what my purpose is in life." Harley had a couple tears forming in her eyes.

"Dam these onions." Cutting through them quickly Joker grabs her hands gently.

"You complete me." The two didn't break eye content. Both felt their bond strengthen from this. A relationship is something that takes work, from both sides. But it all starts with two who are destined to be together. In this case the Harley to his Joker. The Joker to her Harley. Life would never be the same without each other. When you give yourself to someone, it can be to pretty intimidating but in this situation there was no fear, the two were madly in love and nothing can break a bond of that magnitude.

"I can't live without you puddin." She said weakly with a tear escaping her left eye. He took out his handkerchief from his suit and dried her arising tears. He gave her a look of sincerity he could give to no one else.

"I'm not going anywhere sweets, I'm always here for you." Both locked lips in unison. Neither ever grew tired of their lovers taste. To someone who never experienced the real untainted, unmanufactured, unsynthesized feeling of the emotion of love this seems a little fluffy but in a world of unpleasantries, it's never impossible to have a reason to find someone you could live for, someone you would die for, here is an example of that emotional connection that brings these two together and enjoy life with one another. Granted the two are insane but hey love can make anyone insane (Ah life). Joker uncorked a bottle of Moscato from his wine cabinet. It was a vintage bottle, it was worthy of the occasion. With dinner almost ready Harley set up the plates and Jay hid in the bedroom to check on his new year's eve present. It was just right for her.

"Puddin I need your help." Harley called out from the kitchen. Jay ran to see what she needed. "Which spices do you use again for the beef?"

"The secret ingredient is in the beef already, but we can't forget a pinch of tarragon and a hint of rosemary."

"God this smells great puddin. I bet taste will be even better."

"You're in for a treat pooh." He tickled her chin.

"Hehehe."

"Okay the beef is tender enough and everything else is ready to go. Let's eat." With that the two wet to the dining room table and began their meal. Tonight the main course was kobe beef medium rare with some pink in the middle. Served with parmesan crusted red potatoes and some fresh grilled asparagus.

"Was this dinner your way of a New Year's gift because this is working for me."

"Oh no sweets there's a couple things left, dessert is a _two part meal_." He said while in his signature grin."

"Yesssss." She licked the tip of her steak knife. He was thinking in his head, "I'm glad I bought whip cream earlier."

"Pass the Moscato puddin pwweasseee." Harley twirled her glass in his face which broke the Joker's thought. He kept the bottle away from her due to her underestimating her alcohol tolerance, a light weight for her age.

"I need you functioning later tonight pooh." He chuckled a little. "The night is going to end with a bang."

"But daddyyyyy I promise I won't over do it this time. I'm a sucker for sweet wine not the earthy variety."

"True." He pours her another glass. "Just don't pass out pooh."

"Yes Mistah J." She had her own little gift for him in set. The night truly will end with a bang.

With dinner ending later both were content. The two stared at each other with the need to move. Jay slipped out a remote, clicking a button a record from his stereo started playing.

" _You make me feel so young…"_ He picked her up and the two began their romantic tangle. It was slow dancing to Sinatra, time was beginning to slow and so was this moment. She leaned into his neck inhaling his scent that calmed her nerves. Nuzzling her head across his chest he couldn't help but lower his head to hers and transfer his love. "This is such nice night puddin, thank you."

" _...every time I see you grin I such a happy individual."_ Their kiss made everything else in the world pause. He had to get his present but this dance was soooo heavenly, just give a minute or two. " _...and even when I'm old and gray_

 _I'm gonna to feel the way I do, today because you make me feel so young."_ This night was magical and tonight it will end with a bang. Still slow dancing when the record stop playing music (yeah that long) Jay breaks the relaxing silence.

"Wanna go outside? I have something for you."

"Of course Mistah J." Harley skipped with so much excitement to what he got her he headed to the bedroom for the black and red gift box. There were two but he wanted to have her try on the fun one hehe. Appearing on the balcony Jay enters.

"Close your eyes pooh." Harley couldn't help but peek.

"Ouuu I can't wait." He hands her the box and leans into her ear, "This will be used in tonight's activities."

"Mmmmm." She thought about what it was. Opening it she gasped. In a split second she screamed with happiness to the gift.

"Happy New Year my dear Harley Quinn." She grabbed his face and started devouring it. In the background fireworks were launched in the sky and sparks flew to be seen by the eyes of millions.

"I love you so much puddin."

"I love you too sweets." Harley showed her grin when looking noticing the zipper outline around the posterior.

"I want to see your face when I'm wearing this."

"To the bedroom." He carried her quickly as if he was being chased. She went into the bathroom to get changed while Jay waited in the bedroom naked and ready to rip her suit off.

"Mistah J I'm ready."

"Let's see you my dear." She appeared from the door leaning on the frame seductively.

"Well what do you think?" Her smirk made him chuckle.

" _Come to me."_

" _Yes daddy."_ Showing him her dirty voice made his blood pump faster. Striding her way to her clown she rubs her tits slowly. The suit hugged her slender form perfectly. The suit really complimented her natural bust in the front and the back. The look in the Joker's eyes were filled with desire. She climbed him and began smoother him in kisses. He rubbed her pussy through the suit while she began jerking his monster.

"God puddin you are soooo fucking hung I'm having a hard time taking it all in my hand."

"Let me give you a hand then." He helps lift up the pole in her mouth but she kisses the tip teasingly. He moans heavily from her actions towards his cock. "Let me give you some encouragement." He pulls the lower zipper down revealing her pink pussy, he plays with her clit and she becomes weak to his touch. He could feel her pussy producing juice.

"Fuck puddin." He inserts his fingers deeper in and breaths become deeper. he reply was going down on the Jokers flag pole. Taking inch after inch he moans to Harley's satisfaction. Performing a swirling motion with her tongue Jay becomes putty in her hand. Lifting her head up she begins the jerking motion again. "How's that daddy?"

"Hahahahahahahaha." He grabs her ass and turns it to his face. Pressing his tongue deep inside her made Harley scream with pleasure. This 69 was a great way to start the new year. Slurping on his throbbing shaft, slurping the juices flowing from her neatly trimmed pussy. Trying to multitask he pick up a bottle of whip cream and started spraying inside her walls. She was surprised, the air still stimulated the nerve endings of her vagina.

"Yes puddin yesss, please have some dessert."

"Don't mind if I do pumpkin." Licking the whip cream off her clit nearly made her faint from the sensation. To which she was tossed the bottle and sprayed the cream on his shaft began tasting the sweetness of his throbbing cock. Heavily focusing on the tip, there was still jerking motion to the base of his shaft. She wants his cum so bad. Finishing off the cream in her pussy he thrusts his pole deeper in his mouth. She gags and slobs the excess saliva to use for lube and boy did it work.

"Want to feel all of me sweets?"

"Mmmhmmm." She couldn't reply verbally, she was busy.

Moving around in positions she sits on top of him and begins inserting inch and inch of his pulsing rod. "Ouuuuuu DAADDDDYYYYY. FUUUUUUUCCKK." Enjoying being fucked by her clown she twist around on his cock to look in his eyes. The twisting was a little hard but it resulted in good feelings. With the two not breaking eye contact the thrusting increased in momentum and force.

"God your pussy is gonna be the death of me."

"Your cock is gonna be the death of me." She leaned in kissing him tenderly. Her climax was making him pound harder. Spraying more of her cum on his cock he pushed her down on the bed thrusted inside her mouth to make her choke. Pulling out he plowed her pussy again. Harley couldn't help having multiple orgasms.

"OH my GOD I can't stop cumming." She kept rubbing her clit while Jay fucked her good. "Can I have some cum daddy?" She gave him a look of innocence (naughty girl).

"Ahhh I'm getting close sweets." She played with his balls while he went deeper and deeper. On the verge of climax he utilizing two holes tonight. Pulling out quickly Harley quickly began a fast jerking motion and licking his cock. His legs were shaking and he grabbed her head and thrusted fast. "I'mmmm CUMMMMING." He sprayed his baby batter in her throat and pulled out and gave her new suit a nice coating. Not finished, he gave his Harley a full creampie with what whip cream was left in her destroyed pussy. Pressing his body forward to make sure his little girl received her daily dose of vitamin D. Eventually pulling out once more she swallowed his cock one last time tonight and began eating her puddin's pudding from gushing pussy. Both to tired to shower they assumed positions together in their bed.

"Goodnight sweets." Kissing her cheek she smiled.

"Goodnight Mistah J. Happy New Years."


	26. Dream

" _You can't run from me forever. I'm a part of you JACK."_

"I don't believe you. There is no more Jack and there never will be."

" _No one can truly escape their past, you should realize that."_

"Those chemicals... changed me, in ways I've never experienced before. The stinging left some scarring but it wasn't the first time I felt pain. To be reborn, awakened from the dull miserable existence of white collar life. A simple formula was made for people like me in society, get a job, meet someone, buy a house, have some kids, and die old and weak. But no, I wasn't going to live a plain boring life. Back there was nothing that fulfilled my true desires at all."

" _And you think being a functioning member of society is a bad thing? Now Jack what about your comedy career? You had such potential."_

"Seems a little redundant to talk about blending in. For someone who claims to be a part of me you should know that I'm not the average human being, hell I'm not human, I'm the Joker."

" _So you think but your past life isn't gone forever."_

"Oh yes it is. I only see visions like before I saw you again, there usually the same, Ace Chemicals running through the hall into the vats. The red hood gang begun firing on the guards. Somehow the bat was patrolling the facility that night of the bust, fighting a couple of the members and incapacitating those who were left except me. I was wearing the infamous red hood, he looked at me with anger and pursuit. I felt an emotion that I thought I lost after the accident: fear. Backing up without noticing the bent railing and…well you can guess what happened next."

" _You said fear wasn't lost after the transformation?"_

"Yes but no, fear never occurred until recently in my life. Robbing banks, killing mob bosses, blowing up police stations, and fighting the bat, life couldn't have been better. Life is the set up for the biggest joke in the end, death. It can happen anytime and most times we never see it coming until BAM. I stared death in the face many times from a couple of heists and schemes I devised for the dork knight and I dart my tongue out at him every time. His scythe is more for show, I think he's overcompensating for something else, hehe."

" _Where has this newly formed fear arise from then?"_

"...Sweets, god she's gonna be the death of me. Not unless we both die from a massive orga…

" _PLEASE STOP. I know where this is going."_

"Awww come on, where's that old sense of humor Jack. Don't be a prude, sex is a real stress reliever."

" _Yes I recall, Jeanie was definitely a pleasure."_

"Who?"

" _You're wife."_

….

"What!" Standing up in his bed rapidly a little sweet trailed down his body. Turning to his side he notices his better half is missing. This doesn't seem right, usually she's glued to him, especially during the winter months. Standing up he heads for the kitchen for some refreshments. Entering the room he grabbed a glass from the cabinet. Pulling some milk from the fridge he chugs it like this was his last. Looking around area showed nothing but empty space.

"Huh Harley isn't out here either. Now this is becoming troublesome." A unpleasant twitch spread through his spine with a cold chill being blown in the room. "Harley." He shouts but no response, turning around he faces the mirror in the kitchen. But what was reflected wasn't a mirror image, it was the an unknown man. He wasn't smiling nor frowning, just despondent. He touches the inside of the mirror and smiles to Joker.

" _Hi Jack."_

"How is this possible?"

" _It's not, I'm a figment of your subconscious."_

"Where's Harley? She doesn't seem to be out here in the living room."

" _You didn't check the bathroom, accidents are so common and unexpected there unfortunately."_

Joker ran quickly to the bathroom in their bedroom but the door was locked from the inside. "Harley open the fucking door." Pressing his foot through the wooden door when heard no response, what he saw was something he never could process. "I'm so sorry, Harleen." The amount of blood in the tub made him sick to his stomach. Everything went black and silence filled his mind before awaking to his nerve twitch.

…

4:34 a.m. brought about a open wide eyed clown and his harlequin wrapped around his chest.

"Fuck my mind." He whispered to himself. This dream brought out fear, genuine fear. Even though it was a dream he couldn't deny the pit forming in his stomach. Thinking of his Harley gone from this mortal world would be to much to handle. Would he be able to live after such a tragedy? Does this show how much he actually needs her? Taking joy in one's company has become a custom. Before her he never needed anyone, human interaction was the least of his concerns when he was causing endless laughter. Now when he aims his pistol to his enemies, there's someone to pull the trigger with him.

Growing attached to her is a double edged sword. In his form of business she can become a liability. His associates can target her to get to him. Having a potential target painted on her head will cause the two to be cautious. There will be contingency plans in place for his organization starting tomorrow. Is this what you do for someone you love?

Staring at her face made his smile stretch, such a stunning woman he thought. She will be perfect as his partner in crime. Holding her tighter she moaned happily in her deep sleep. His heart could never deny it, she was a part of him. He can envision a future with her. Not exactly the house in suburbia with a white picket fence and a Kia minivan but some kids weren't entirely out of the picture. Focusing on the future isn't a fool's dream in this situation but not everyone has the luxury in our world. It's never a certainty for anyone, what's now is the present. And with the blink of an eye that can no longer be true anymore.

...


	27. Women

With the start of the new year crime doesn't take a holiday in Gotham city. As those start setting their resolutions others begin timing when one stops in the progression of reaching unachievable goals. Sometimes we plan for the best scenario but reality doesn't always allow our best intentions to take charge. One man can try to undertake the weight of the world on his shoulders but when it becomes too much to handle we all collapse. In the end all we have to do is look in the mirror and smile because life can be the biggest joke of all, so please laugh, chuckle, and enjoy.

...

"Alfred, do you have the coordinates set?"

"Yes Master Bruce, I've sent the address to the Batmobiles GPS. Hopefully you'll make it before it's too late."

"I do to Alfred." Revving up the engine creating a fiery exhaust, the Batmobile begins speeding through the Bowery district. Dodging traffic and pedestrians are easy when gangs have been fighting in countless wars over territory. But that is a subject for later time. He needed to get to the roof of Elliot Memorial Hospital to grab the package that the Joker has left for him. Unfortunately the package was being held by an innocent woman with two snipers pointing .50 caliber Barretta's at her head. If there wasn't enough at stake there was a timer set for 15 minutes until the snipers will take her out. He won't let that happen.

Heading down the wide scenery of Second Street gave a clear view of the far end of the road towards the hospital. Speeding down the street sounded clear until a tank shell made impact with the right side of the Batmobiles frame. The impact made Bruce sustain symptoms of shock. Spinning out of control the Batmobile crashed into a closed restaurant. A group of thugs ran to the damage "car" to surround it. All their guns pointed to it. The dark environment clouded their sight but they carried night vision goggles to see their target, he expected that. He could hear their voices and the tank upcoming from the backroad to assure it's target was hit. His ears were ringing loudly making his next actions more disorienting but he had to save the civilian from an unsavory demise.

"Joe where is he?", One of the thugs asked out.

"We got him right where we want him." The other thug reached into his pocket to grab a walkie-talkie. "Boss what's our next objective?"

"Don't lose contact on the bat. I know he's planning something, I can flip on my odds. Heads I kill the bat with my remote tank and tails I use the grenade launcher." Harvey tossed his coin in the air. Before it dropped in his hand smoke balls were launched by the crippled Batmobile. With the armed thugs trying to deter the smoke one by one were grappled in by the darkness.

"No no no NO." A thug screamed before being struck by the dark knight. When Harvey was all that was left he began shooting randomly at anything that moved around him. He started to scream.

"Where are you Batman?"

"Here." With Harvey turning around his light were knocked out instantly. "I'll let the GCPD to pick you up along with the rest of your friends." Placing a transmitter on the chest of the handcuffed Two Face he had to continue and do it fast, only five minutes remained. He heard the tank beginning to move again. "Someone must have took remote control of it but who?"

The speakers on the outside of the tank began screeching a scratchy transmission as if it was bouncing off multiple frequencies.

"Salutations foolish dark knight, It is I your intellectual superior the Riddler and I am here to kill you." He said so surely. Batman pressed the right side of his combat gauntlet.

"Is she ready Lucius?" Speaking into his comms.

"The new prototype is combat ready for you Mr. Wayne." In a split second his new Batwing zipped through the street quicker than a blink of the eye. The tank tried to shoot at the Batwing but it pulled a G6 before going straight into the clouds.

"Activate Annihilation." The voice command launched the Batwing to take a nosedive towards the tank. The gyrating machine guns began firing on the hunk of metal. Instantaneously the tank exploded from the intense hail of .80 caliber shells. "I'll relay Edwards radio frequencies to find his location when I get back." He signaled the Batwing to pick him up. He'll focus on the Batmobile after he saves the woman. The Batwing hovered and jolted to the hospital in a flash. He jumped out in the air with 30 seconds left. Time was of the essence. Centering himself in the position of where the potential casualty is standing he grabs two aim targeted batarangs from his belt. Dropping in altitude he sees her shaking from the idea of meeting her creator. Having a clear aim of the two snipers he throws the batarangs at the two men. Less than ten seconds left the batarangs were reaching the snipers and Bruce was about to reach the rooftop. 3…. The snipers are incapacitated, 2…. Batman hits the ground to reach the victim, 1…. She hands him the package, quickly opening it revealed a message. " _Women are so unpredictable aren't they?" - Joker_

"What?" He hadn't realized the feeling of a hypodermic needle piercing his back. His vision started going black, turning around he sees the woman. She was smiling wickedly, almost like him. "You…."

"Sweet dreams sucker."

 **...**


	28. Unexpected

She walks into the loft wearing a thin laced red nighty. She sings softly to herself. "I feel pretty, Oh so pretty…" Starting to tiptoe to find her clown she looks into the bedroom, no one around. "So much for location," she frowns slightly. "Maybe the basement." Heading down the stairs she hears noises she can't explain. It sounded as if someone was wailing. Who was crying, this doesn't make sense she thought. Finally descending to the final step she opens to the basement living room. She see's the Joker crying on the table. Running over to calm him, "Puddin honey it's alright your Harley is here." He seemed unresponsive to her words. "Mistah J! Please calm down sweetie." Jay was twitching but reached his palm onto her panicked face.

"Harle…." He passed out before finishing out his sentence.

"Puddin. PUDDIN!"

…

The pale man walks through a dark forest path into the entrance gates of an abandoned insane asylum. The darkness and vines creep up on him. No amounts of running could escape his inner demons. Passing the gates, what lies ahead was not a pleasant sight. Rotting corpses in the brown grass, maggots and crows having a snack on the blueish green flesh. He wasn't phased just plainly stagnant. Going up the cobblestone steps he glanced at the mosaic glass door covered in blood. It seemed to be fresh due to the nice crimson hue it held. The man dragged his finger across the blood and took a little taste. " _Mmmmmm tangy."_ Turning around he squinted to the far side of the manor, the demon was watching. Deciding to go in he cracks the glass to enter the void of potential nothingness.

Running through the narrow corridors he spots the checkered floor tiles changing positions. What was more disorienting was the random white flashes that consumed the Pale Man's sight. Was this light hope? An inspiration of awakening in his mind? Maybe higher forces at play or simply the illusion of what many think they have in life: Awareness.

"AHHHHH." A scream arose from the end of the east wing of the institution. Following the sound made him smile with delight, " _I wonder who that can be."_ Turning over the corner of the courtyard he headed towards the barbed wire section of the asylum, Intensive Care. " _Oh this has to be good, hehe."_

Upon the first door to his right we see a boy, well a teenager more like it. He had sleek black hair and was wearing a red suit. It had armored plating to it, as if he was fighting before ending up in this descent of a mad man's imagination. A cape was a part of the kid's design. The boy's signature look was a nice yellow bold R above his heart. The Pale Man couldn't quit staring at him. The boy wouldn't have noticed anyway, he was blindfolded with a black bat cowl. Having his hands tied to a knot connected to the ceiling he was hanging like a piece of dead meat.

"Hello Is Anyone There?", The boy cried out. The Pale Man was tempted to respond but was delayed from a happy visitor.

" _Don't worry Jason. Dear uncle J is here to make the pain go away."_

"Fuck, you sick bastard." He spit blood into the Joker's face.

" _Why so glum child? Look at it from my perspective. I now have my very own sidekick. The bat doesn't care for you. It's been three months, here I have something for you."_ He pulls down the blindfold and shows Jason a picture of Batman gliding with a small child dressed in similar attire to his.

"No.", said weakly.

" _Oh yes, he's replaced you Jason. My deepest condolences, I can only imagine how hard that must be to see that he just gave up looking for you. To search for someone new, younger, better…."_ He paused from hearing tears being shed. " _I know how to turn that frown upside down."_ Going behind the light he pulled out a rusty steel crowbar.

"Where are you clown?" Feeling the fear creep through his skin, he was going insane from the silence.

" _Right here."_ He struck Jason with the crowbar from behind and the room went dark. The Pale Man began giggling from the past memory.

" _Ah good times. It's funny to see how he grew up to be such a promising citizen."_ He entered the hollow cafeteria. Looking for something to eat he noticed a piece of laffy taffy on a table. " _Ouu sugar."_ Once in his mouth he immediately spit it out. " _Damn it's banana flavored."_

"Psst." A random entity appeared.

" _What the hell do you want?"_

"Nothing." The grey ghost simply retorted. "Enjoying the visit?"

" _This is a visit? I just simply walked through the gate while being stalked by a demonic bat, seeing a memory that would make a killer cry and now talking to a ghost. So yeah actually it's quite relaxing, except for the choice of taffy, yuck."_

"Don't worry there are more things to see, times to recapture from past excursions, and if you decide to stay I promise we will have a more pleasing variety of foods to chose from."

" _You sound convincing but I see to be having the urge to leave."_ Pointing out the window the ghost saw the black figure with a menacing demeanor. It wasn't moving, just watching the Pale Man. " _We'll see ya casper, bye."_ While only speed walking to the hallway on the other side, the flashes start again, " _I need to stop."_ Unfortunately the bat got a hold of him. Holding him up in the air we see the bat screech in the Pale Man's face. All he did was chuckle, " _I thought pengers breath was fishy."_ The bat threw him across a window into one of the interview rooms. Waiting for the demon to return he stood up but was alone or so he thought.

"We need him to tell us where the hostages are. I don't care what Batman does." Turning his head he saw a table with two chairs. Commissioner Gordon left the table with the Joker sitting nonchalantly. Once the door closed Batman came out of the dark corner. The Pale Man stuck out his tongue.

" _Ah he just can give up on me, bless his stupid heart."_

Batman walked towards the Joker and you can kind of guess where this is going. " _I appreciate the attention Bats but frankly I have dinner plans to g…"_ Batman punched him square in the jaw. " _You must be mad,usually you start with some flattery before the foreplay."_

"I don't have time for games Joker, where are the hostages?"

" _If I tell you then that ruins the surprise."_

"You know what I will do to you if those hostages die?"

" _You can threaten all you want batsy but we both know that you will never kill me."_

"It's because if I ever commit such a horrendous act, I wouldn't be any better than those I put away. And I most certainly will never give you the satisfaction."

" _Are you sure about that?"_

"What do you mean?"

" _Well sometimes we let the id take control of the vehicle and have it run over the ego before entering the freeway."_ Braking his cuffs he kicks the table at the bat and covers his ears.

BOOM!

The GCPD was under attack by Joker's thugs and assorted henchmen.

" _My guys know how to make an entrance huh?"_ Batman wanted to throw him through the bulletproof window but a green mist began flooding the air.

"Joker toxin."

" _A new batch of Joker toxin my good man."_ The Joker's henchmen were placing the canisters in the ventilation system. Batman didn't have an antidote for this strain, inhaling the gas he began chuckling madly.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

" _Welcome to the party."_ Joker took out a switchblade and cut a smile into the bats armor. The police were under a hail of gunfire but as fun as bloody carnage was going on he wanted to go home. " _Time to leave boys."_ Joker left the Batman with only minor injuries but left a message on the a piece of paper glued to his chest: _...You better go get that head examined. Medicine works wonders for the delusional. - J_

The Pale Man couldn't stop laughing from seeing that encounter unfold again. " _God how did he not see that coming?"_

"Because back then he underestimated you. He thought you were a joke that would die out quickly and well…." The demonic bat spoke to the Pale Man.

" _I just arrived in the city one day and never left."_

"Back then things were simpler and sound."

" _I could agree you but none of this is real."_

"Yeah but remember that a lesson can be learned from seeing some of these moments..."

" _That I'm soo happy to be the Clown Prince of Crime? Don't be a hero unless you want to get bludgeoned with a crowbar or gassed into insanity?"_

"Life can be uncertain and even the most prepared can be dumbfounded from what comes their way." Blackness covered his vision and soon the Pale Man saw again. He was alone, aching from the previous damage he decided to find a bed and take a nap.

" _Who would have thought that peeking into my own past would be so exhausting."_ Entering the holding cells of Arkham's most notorious. 0801 was his second home. " _God you never change."_ Seeing the blood stained sheets calmed his nerves. Going inside the bed he slowly closed his eyes and began wearing off into a slumber.

Gaining consciousness he awakes in his bed. It was morning outside with blue jay's chirping on the patio railing. Harley was sitting in a cushioned purple chair across the side of their room. She was drifting off a little.

"Sweets." He said weakly. Hearing his voice jolted her to the bed and giving him a death hug he will never forget.

"PUDDIN! What happened? I was so afraid that you were never going to wake up and I didn't know who to call or what to do and if you didn't wake up I wou…" She was tearing up and started to babble. Jay calmed her and rubbed her head.

"Shhh shh, everything is alright sweets. Daddy isn't going anywhere, I just had a mental moment."

"But Mistah J you were convulsing on the floor in the basement, I heard you screaming and crying."

"I'm deeply sorry for scaring you, it was a side effect from a new strain of Joker Toxin I was developing and well I was a little to careless with the ingredients."

"Okay Mistah J." She said lowly. He pulled her head to his and gave her a deep passionate kiss.

"C'mon let's go sweets, I have an idea to make you feel better."

...


	29. Eh

"Dr. Quinzel."

"Please Joan call me Harley, everybody does."

"Have you completed the case work file evaluation?"

"Actually I haven't started it yet Joan."

"Might I ask why?"

"I need more time with the patient to completely input my eval of him."

"Of course Harleen, just be careful. He isn't afraid to show his inner demons." Leland left Harleen's office.

"That's what I'm counting on." Harleen grabbed her clipboard and walked down the hall in her blood red stilletoes to the elevator. She hit the button to level 2. It played that awful but somehow catchy tune that you'd nod your head to. Exiting the elevator she headed to the intensive care section of the facility. The area filled the most dangerous villains in Gotham's history. Each patient behind bulletproof glass just in case, (use your imagination). Most of them just ignored the presence of the doctors and orderlies. She walked to the bottom of the hall. As she stepped closer to the barred door his chuckles grew louder. They were cynical and filled the atmosphere with unease. A part of her knew where this could lead, him killing her in the act to escape. But she needed to see him. He knew something that she didn't and every time she see's him he grins at her with a leading gesture. He's teasing her and she would be lying if she said she didn't feel attached to play in his little game. Only way to find out what would come of this visit is to open the heavy metal door. Slipping her key card in the scanner the light went green and the thick steel bolts inside the door unlocked and pushed the door slightly open. The darkness evading the entrance was a little discouraging but questions need to be answered and he had the cheat sheet memorized in his head. Entering the cell gave a cold breeze across the doctor's face. The lights were off which didn't help the doctor keep a strong stance. Reaching the light switch, the room was instantly illuminated. He was simply standing in the back of the cell and facing the wall in darkness before. Not turning around he smiled from the presence of his favorite toy.

"Mister J." Harleen said firmly. He didn't respond to her, he chuckled. "It's me…" He held up his right index finger.

" _Do you hear that?"_

"No what?"

" _You're alone."_

"What no. What makes you say that?"

" _No doctor has ever had the audacity to enter my cell while I'm not wearing restraints."_ She checked her file to see the cell specifications for the Joker.

"It says you must be on 24 hour restraints in fear of harming yourself and especially others." Turning her head up he was right in front of her. She nearly fell on the floor, she dropped her case file.

" _Did I startle you?"_ He asked mockingly.

"Yes you did Mister J very so." Her heart was pounding from being so close to a mass murderer.

" _I must apologize sweets, it wasn't my intent. However I'm happy I can make you're heart thump heavily."_ Gazing at her he couldn't help but break the semi-awkward silence. " _Please let me."_ He bent down and pilled up the papers placing them in the folder. " _Well well what's this?"_ He noticed a white sheet labeled: 'Patient Evaluation'. " _Aww I'm disappointed Doc, I would have figured you would at least take me on a date before I show you the goods."_ She blushed from his words.

"Ugh Mister Jay I came down to learn more about you."

" _Why?"_

"To understand what makes someone like you tick."

" _There's no one who's been able to dear."_

"I can't believe that."

" _Well when you look at this, what do you see?"_ He pointed to his face giving her a calm sincere smile that always in the future will make her putty in his hands.

"A man afraid, hiding behind his act he shows to the world but only allows himself to see what's really lurking inside. Something that if he ever let out for the world to see, he would feel weak and vulnerable. To show humanity when you've been looked at with none." Once she finished he grabbed her with ferocity.

" _Interesting. It's definitely a different approach than what the previous quacks took. I'm sure you know what happened to them though hmmm?"_ He pressed her harder against the wall.

"Yes unfortunately. You've murdered most of your assigned doctors."

" _Do you think you will be just another victim added to my personal list?"_

"Frankly it doesn't matter really much, we all die a little each day."

" _Wow sweets that got too depressing."_ Relieving pressure she got ahold of herself. " _Ya know here at the facility if you're suffering from depression, we at Arkham can alleviate the troubles you are facing."_ He surprised her with a full kiss on the lips. Her eyes opened with his lips locking with her. She didn't exactly had the intention of making out with the most dangerous man in Gotham but hell what do you. Finally drawing away from the kiss he smiles from her exasperated face, "So what do you want to know?"

…

Hello everybody. Sorry for not writing as much as I could, school can keep one busy. Anyway I'm thinking of starting over with a fresh story featuring the crazy clown couple. I'm open for suggestions. I'm not entirely done but soon I will be writing a new tale with the clown prince and princess of crime. Thank you all for reading.


	30. Sessions

"Honestly, as much as possible."

" _And what are you willing to do for it?"_

"Depends, what do you want?" He grinned, the thought of her on his bed invaded his mind. From the way her blonde waves dropped touching her shoulders to her black pumps complimenting her legs. He first had to get out of Arkham before pursuing pleasurable affairs.

" _I need to get out of here. I know in the past that hasn't been much of an issue. However this time I want to be a little more subtle and quiet. Do you think that's too much to ask sweets?"_ He asked her, hoping she would play with him. All he had was his genuine smile, not the one he shows for the world to see, only to her.

"Okay Mistah J, let's discuss then. Follow me." She led him to her office quickly without the guards noticing. Luckily the cameras were taken down for repairs and upgrades from the mess of last month with a potential coup. What surprised her was his calmness, he was always depicted as wicked and unpredictable. The hesitation consumed her when the contact of his emerald irises meet with her azules. The only noise in the air was Joker's breathing, the heaviness was worrying slightly but there was no sudden movement besides the steady motion of his legs moving with hers. Reaching her office she opened the door for him.

" _Thank you miss."_ Joker sat down on the couch where he could play the common characters like 'the victim' or 'the merciless'. Actually there was no ulterior motive he planned besides escaping, maybe take her along to show the gal a nice time indulging in his lifestyle. Anything is possible in life, more times than not it will make itself noticeable. " _Where would you like to start sweets?"_

"Describe yourself in one word."

" _Tired."_ That was a different response than expected.

"Mind caring to explain Mister Joker." He shrugged his shoulders and scratched his leg. " _Lately I've noticed that my routine has been predictable. Each day I wake up I can picture how it will end, sleeping in an empty bed constantly feeling like I'm missing a piece of a very crooked puzzle. It probably is the piece with the paperboard showing."_

"You only feel tired?"

" _Do you want me elaborate more I'm guessing?"_

"Please."

" _Before I was forced back to the confines of marbles floors and padded cells I was on a side-street. Nobody noticed me at the time, the Halloween Parade is the one day of the year when Batsy has trouble. The time where I become a needle in a green and purple haystack. I just walked around of the city. The sun lowering to the west and city lights began to flicker on. As people were partying and celebrating momentary happiness, I was despondent, emptiness was not vacant."_

Harleen wrote down notes, so far there was no dots to connect. What was noticeable was his seemingly feelings of loneliness. "Jok...J, do you feel alone?"

" _I'm never alone. Hell I share this facility with around two hundred crazy individuals."_

"You know that's not what I meant."

" _Yes I do. Deflection is always easier than to admit that I feel lonely."_ Writing down explanations for his current state connected to why he tries to get the attention of so many people on a daily basis, especially the Batman. The search for something permanent, a friend. Granted their relationship could loosely be described as friends. The violence between them isn't the most inspiring.

"From previous records you have shown no history of depression linking symptoms. Have you been feeling any other symptoms or instances of crisis."

" _Are you asking me if I ever think of killing myself."_ She want's to see how far this goes. "Yes." His hand tremored. It was as if he had ambivalent feelings about answering the question. The man who shares to the world couldn't share this. "J?"

" _Yes. I've thought but never acted upon it. It's not how I want to die. There is still so much for me to do on this earth."_

"Why haven't you reached to any of the previous doctors with this information?"

" _Because I don't trust them with this knowledge."_

"How are you sure you can trust me though Mister J?" He smirked passionately.

" _You're still breathing. I don't kiss people let alone have them see the daylight after my advance. Funny how you didn't seem to withdraw and run for the hills."_ She couldn't deny him that. His touch was enticing, rough but yet soft like he has done this many times. "Can you remember being in a relationship?"

" _No, I've been a single man as long as I can remember. Being alone suits me generally."_

"Oh."

" _Oh?"_..." _That shouldn't be too surprising dear, what sane individual would want to be with an anarchist who enjoys destroying people's concept of sanity."_

"Someone who shares similar ideals, have close interests, and or accepts you for who you are."

" _That last part is very rare to find in this world. Most like to alter themselves for acceptance and approval. Hell they might even get desperate from a crisis of identity. Let me take you for example."_

"Go right ahead."

" _I see someone hidden beneath that lab coat. You have chose to work in a profession that typically deals with the mentally disturbed. Now working in a facility of this clearance and order, you like to maintain a serious but not too stern personality. I've noticed you're accent slipping the last couple of days. That is just a symptom to assimilating to the environment. But you don't have to assimilate, hell you can even reverse the order. Be original and it will result in great fortune, get bogged down social norms and you'll get to sensitive before noticing that at the end, none of this really matters."_ She had nothing to reply to. All she could do was right down the last of his thoughts. " _Hey, do you have any crackers?"_


	31. A

1:00 a.m.

In the cell of the Joker, he stares at the wall. The cracks forming around the barred window became visible as the moonlight shot through. The silence around him was pleasant, too often there was a random scream or spontaneous cry from multiple directions of the asylum. Joker kept calm, enjoy the moment. Nothing else had been favored at the moment. Sleeping was a virtue he had never possessed, planning schemes and frankly psychopaths like him don't need much time to recharge their batteries. The cot's given to the inmates were less than desirable. The sheets had dried bloodstains, not too big, like rain droplets. Yes they were his, well mostly. Accidents are prone to happen in this type of environment. Rolling around all he could do was stare at the wall. The crack has gotten bigger since the last time he has been here. J was doing so well lately, giving joy to the citizens of Gotham and fighting the bat on a more than consistent basis. The smiling, reminiscing the old days before everything started to remind him of how he started here in Gotham. One night and everything became...clearer.

He stood up. It was time that he took a walk. Staring at the wall across of him, a black dot seemed to be drilled in. He placed his middle finger in the hole and curved it. Pulling out a small hidden box, he opened it to reveal a single silver key. He opened the cell door and took a stroll around the halls. The guards never were an issue for him. Most returned to what they were doing when they saw him appear from intensive care. The others who intervened joined his total tally of victims. He knew Batman would eventually come up north to intervene, he was a man who could never take a day off. Time was of the essence now, the time before Batsy showed up is about eleven minutes when driving that monstrous bat-tank he's been using recently.

"Hey J. Mind helping a damsel in distress?" Said Poison Ivy. She was in a special meta-type cell which needed a swipe from one of the guards keycards.

" _Isn't that Harvey's job? He's a guy that likes to water the ferns I believe."_ She became peeved at his insinuations. "I don't know what you're talking about Joker…"

" _You know I honestly don't have time for this, everybody knows Pammie. Don't hide behind a mask when it comes to affection, it can truly make you heartless."_ He slipped by with a pair of tweezers dismantling the central power box and disarming the magnetic lock. She walked out of the her cage with a look of utter satisfaction. "You won't hear this from me often but thank you J." He didn't care, she was going to be Batman's distraction while he tailed it. " _Whatever."_ She was surprised not to receive a witty comeback or a berating verbal assault, this was not that time. All he wanted to do was leave.

1:21 a.m.

Driving back into town was somewhat enjoyable to J. The feeling of belonging was present but clouded by the occupation of negative influences. His desire was only to make people laugh. The only one who seemed to understand that actually is Harley. She is so innocent to the world around her he thought. There was genuine interest displayed in her eyes when he told her stories of his past. Some of those tales included actual information he had never detailed to any of the previous doctors. They only wanted to make a title for themselves, to see if they can know what makes him tick. No one will ever truly know, except for her...maybe. There is the dilemma that he faced. He wanted to see her but there was the fear that consumed him, allowing himself to someone else was a risk he never intended to take.

1:43 a.m.

It began to rain outside in Gotham. Approaching her residency his chest pounded. He knocked on the door. There was hesitation to wait, he had no clue if she was asleep or not. He turned around in the direction of his car. The motions stops when a lock is heard, it's twisted left. The door opened slowly, the lights were off so he couldn't see her face. In the darkness he knew she would be there despite the lack of visibility.

"Mistah J? What are you doing here?" Harley was in a fluffy blue nightgown. To him it was odd seeing her in this attire. The idea of meeting his doctor after midnight wasn't usually an image he thought of much, she did look lovely though. Recently he has been feeling off with inspiration absent in previous performances. It was truly odd to him. Joker didn't come to Harley with nefarious intentions, he just wanted to converse in a room not surrounded with two way glass, built with white cement blocks and floored with gray tiles. Every time he went in those rooms he could instantly hear the flickering of the halogen bulbs. Being asked generic questions and recorded as if he was a test subject. The other inmates were recorded by voice but Joker was given extra attention. The policy changed after he took one of the doctors pens and stabbed him in the jugular, spraying their blood on the video recorder.

He knew what he was capable of. If he wanted to, Harley could end up dead, strangled, and left on the polished wooden floor with her lifeless eyes staring straight to the legs of that teal colored couch that didn't work with the room. He didn't want to hurt her though, the sensation never came to him.

" _Do you want to continue our session?"_ Besides being up far past midnight with work in the morning, she was functioning quite well from little rest. "Mistah J coming here isn't a good idea. I'm sure the police are looking for you already." He smirked, " _The police are never the issue sweets. It's the man who enjoys dressing up like a bat too much."_

"Because I'm your doctor, they will inevitably contact me for insight on your whereabouts." He walked through the door towards her to which she backed up. " _And what would you tell them exactly?"_

"The truth, the last time we meet was during the previous session in intensive care." She went to her kitchen to get herself a drink. "So do you want something to drink before we start?"

" _Do you have any scotch?"_ She smirked. "Unfortunately not Mistah J. That stuff always gave an unpleasant aftertaste for me."

" _You have to get the right bottle, that's the secret. A water would suffice instead though. I shouldn't be drinking anyway. I wouldn't want my doctor to take advantage of me in a fragile state."_ Harley had some pink flushing her cheeks. Despite what he said, he was actually implying information. She went to him in the living room and gave him the bottle.

"Now J I'm your doctor. My goal is to help you process your emotions in a healthy manner with the intention of you eventually becoming a functional member of society. Also to understand you as an individual and look deeper into the man behind the face paint." He looked at her funny.

" _I don't wear face paint love. This a permanent feature that I'm meant to possess till the day I die. All I can do is cover up but it just reminds me too much of who I was before all of this."_

"You don't miss your past much do you?"

" _No. Not for a long time. I can say that the experience was traumatic but I considered it to be liberating. It was the chance to start over again."_

"But why? Why would you want to erase your past in favor of embracing this new persona when a less drastic approach would have been easily talking about the dissatisfaction in your previous life? Perhaps to a loved one, a friend, or even a random stranger.

" _We all have our own reference to trauma and what it lead to. Yes my case was definitely an outlier to most but it happened. How I was brought up had influence to the way I processed information as well as finding outlets to display my emotions so they wouldn't get bottled up and have the cap twisted to the point it burst out from the pressure inside the container. There weren't many in my past who I felt could have been able to be empathetic to my situation."_

"What did you do Mistah J?"

" _It wasn't what I did Harley. Events occurring at the time had a negative impact which lead to choices that many would consider horrid and irredeemable. I considered it to be different but in a good way. I found the men who were responsible for the death of someone I cared for and made them suffer."_

"Was this before or after your transformation?"

" _After. Before I became the man you know, I was fearful of the future. Consequences weighed me down and kept me from reaching my true potential. I couldn't imagine cutting up mob bosses with a dull rusty kitchen knife in the old ACE Chemical Plant if I still contained my humanity."_ He noticed her face, she stopped writing and became entranced in his words. Maybe he was just full of himself, talking to her gave him the freedom to discuss this in confidence. She doesn't seem to take his words with a grain of salt. She took the whole salt shaker.

" _Do you get squeamish when seeing blood sweets?"_

"When I was young I would hate getting my blood drawn for the cardiologist. My grandmother had high cholesterol and other complications so my parents wanted to do all the test to make sure I was 'normal'."

" _Normal. What a meaningless term. As a psychiatrist working in our institution, that word isn't used very often."_

"You know it Mistah J. You've been at Arkham a lot longer than I have. I remember writing a paper regarding you during my graduate years at Gotham University. It's been awhile since then." He giggled. "What?"

" _How old are you?"_

"26."

" _I'm 33. God I feel old."_ She smiled from his dramatic statement.

"You're not old Mistah J. Seven years is not that great of a gap. I've had friends date and marry men older than them."

" _How about you? What is your take on dating?"_ She was a little hesitant on answering. "I actually haven't been out on a date before." Joker raised an eyebrow in disbelief. " _I find that hard to believe I mean look at you."_ She was flattered by his honesty. " _I'm sure you have been asked out before."_

"Yes, I've been asked once or twice before but I turned them down. Those who asked seemed to only be interested in superficial characteristics. Never found that person who I could wake up next to yet. Life is funny that way. Everything eventually is placed perfectly in our path."

" _I can't entirely relate to that statement but maybe you're right. Destiny is inevitable that way. Meeting you has definitely been pleasing in light of recent events."_

"Thank you very much Mistah J. You have been such a gentlemen and kind to me despite what previous records entailed."

" _I'm not afraid to show my true nature around you Harley. I want you to remember that."_

"I appreciate that Mistah J. I hope you can find me to be trustworthy."

" _I'm sure I can. I only have one request though."_

"Sure, anything."

" _I would like to have more sessions conducted in private environments like this, off the record, no third perspective, just you, me, and water."_ He smiled at her. Charming was a quality he possessed and he enjoyed displaying it to Harley. She is the only one who seems to appreciate his charisma.

"Yes Mistah J, we can continue having sessions off the record. I think this will help us make great progress in the future."

" _Oh I know it sweets. Believe me when I say we are going to have some fun."_

...


	32. Gifts

Time and again we wait for that magical day every year. The wind blows through the trees, blinking multicolor lights spread across tacky houses, snow falling from the sky without no indication of ending. The twenty-fifth of December is a day not of gift giving but gathering and celebration of good fortune. A time of when we hold those dearest to our heart and soul. Even when those who aren't with us anymore are still remembered and cherished. Outside the city far out in Finger Forest, calm collective thoughts were the only sound in his mind. A bow was taken out of his quiver. Pulled backed with the string, waiting for the perfect moment to strike down prey of any sorts.

"Come on little one." A pheasant walked down a creek. It couldn't see him but he could see it. "Just a couple steps closer." He let go of the string and the arrow zipped through the air. Time slowed down, savoring the moment as the arrow sliced snowflakes in half. The pheasant turned its head in response to the sound of the arrow piercing through its thin yet muscular neck. In a split second life was taken.

" **Sir did you really need to use a bow and arrow, a hunting rifle would have assured a painless demise."** Bruce reached to his right ear to activate the comms.

"Guns are loud and alert the creatures around. At least with the bow I can hunt the other creatures around and round up dinner."

" **Well sir dinner is actually just about ready, so can I assume this pheasant will be the main course for New Years?"**

"Of course." He tied up the pheasant and headed towards his mansion. A home built by his ancestors with pride and honesty. Staring at the home he imagined his parents standing at the top of the steps, smiling, awaiting him to return back to their house and enjoy a warm meal.

The tall doors opened slowly revealing a view of comfort, a central staircase that lead to an infinite number of rooms, a chandelier from the victorian era shimmered from the reflecting light, and the most important part of the home, Alfred. He stood with a message to tell Bruce. "Dinner is ready sir. Shall I grab your coat?"

"No it's fine Alfred I got it, mind taking this pheasant thought?"

"Certainly sir, I'll prepare it once dinner is finished. You have a recorded message from Miss Kyle." Bruce went to the house phone to listen to the recording.

" **Hey Bruce it's Selina, I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and hope you enjoy the rest of the day. I'm sorry I can't make it to dinner today, I have some personal affairs to attend to and I wouldn't desire to put you in harms ways on such a holiday. I will be sure come by later and give you your gift. Lock the door or not, I'll find a way in. Bye Bat."**

"Cat."

"Should I prepare a plate for later Master Bruce?"

"No Alfred, I'm sure she'll already eat something before coming here. She's not one to focus on these 'elegant' dinners like...what did you make?"

"Venison seasoned with a dry rub topped with rosemary and parsley surrounding it. Served with mini roasted garlic potatoes covered in sicilian parmesan."

"You deserve a vacation Alfred, you shouldn't have to be stuck in this house during the holidays."

"It's perfectly fine sir. I enjoy the opportunity to be a service. Nobody should be left alone at a time such like this." Bruce hugged him and after handed him a check, "Here a Christmas bonus."

"Thank you Master Bruce."

"C'mon, let's have dinner."

…..Back in Gotham

"C'mon puddin let's get something to eat, I'm starving." She said while Jay was cutting someone up. He looked at her with a confused look.

" _Harley you've been 'starving' the last couple of days even though I've made pretty hefty meals recently…..Hell, ate more than me every time."_ He mumbled that last part.

"What was that?!" She pulled out her pistol and blew that tied up victims brains out on the floor. "If you have something to say Mistah J say it."

" _What the hell is your problem love! You've been a little moody lately. From someone like me saying that it's definitely noticeable, isn't that right...oh."_ He suddenly realized the individual's body had his head blown off.

"Well sorry if I haven't been my usual pleasing, hunky-dory self. This time of the year always kind of sets me off."

" _In what way dear?"_ She wasn't comfortable talking about this in a dark dusty warehouse. It would have been better if she told him in their home. "Can I tell you when we get home sweetie?"

" _Okay Harley, whatever you want."_ She smirked. "All I want for Christmas is you puddin." They left the scene and drove back to their home on Sorkin Street. J grabbed a bottle, turned off the lights but kept the tree on and then sat down on the couch with Harley. " _You have the floor love."_ He stared at her, wondering what she had to say. Looking at her beautiful face he couldn't help but smile. She brightened up any room she walked into. In the past he didn't care for the holiday cheer and celebration. It was easy to ignore while he killed. The present he received each and every year was a glass cell in Arkham.

"Puddin. I'm pregnant." He said nothing initially. Processing information for him was easy but this wasn't going through. Facial expression was blank like he was a computer on sleep mode. "Puddin?"

" _How long have you known sweets?"_

"Three weeks Mistah J. I'm sorry I haven't told you earlier. I've been holding this secret from you because I didn't know how you would react to the idea of being of a father. You're the first person I have told if that helps J."

" _I wish you would have told me earlier beautiful. We'll deal with this together Harley, like parents would."_ She jumped him spreading kisses all over his face leaving him helpless but accept her affection. " _I should start working on my pull out game."_ She giggled, "It's a little late for that puddin. I always dreamt of being a mother eventually. Oh boy I gotta tell the girls, they're gonna be so happy."

" _I'm sure they're gonna be just flabbergasted to say least."_ Harley left to go to their bedroom and start making phone calls whereas Jay walked to the patio to drink and think about the future.

" _Damn."_

….Back at Wayne Manor

A knock on the door came late in the night. Alfred opened to see a beautiful lady dressed in evening attire as if she just came from an event. "Master Bruce, Miss Kyle is here to see you." Selina walked in happy to be back. "Good to see you Alfred. This place never ceases to change." Alfred was ready to take her coat but she insisted to hang it herself. "Please let me."

"He can't help himself, helpfulness is in his nature." Bruce stepped down the staircase to hug her.

"Hello Brucie," she whispered. "How was your day?"

"It was quite calm and relaxing, went hunting and brought home dinner for New Year's day."

"Really, I thought you didn't use guns."

"Well I used one of my Christmas gifts." Alfred left the room and soon Bruce and Selina went to the grandfather clock and set it to 10:48. The clock shifts forward and slides to the right momentarily while they enter and advance to the caverns. Bruce activated the batcomputer to do some research on a lead for the red hood gang. "How was your dinner Selina?"

"Well I was about to enjoy a lovely seared brisket when someone blew up my phone."

"Who was it cat?"

"It was Harley, she wanted to tell me she was pregnant." Bruce couldn't believe what he heard. "I didn't know he could even produce sper…" Bruce stopped her.

"Okay I got it. I wouldn't have expected him to be able to conceive due to his chemical exposure but I guess fertility wasn't altered like his mind."

"I guess so. I'm happy for her though, that child will be loved by Harley and I think Joker will follow too with time."

"You really believe that. From the past we both seen what kind a man he has portrayed."

"Yes but a child changes your perspective, even if you're a sociopath." She wrapped his arm around him. "Brucie haven't you ever thought of dawning the title of father?"

"Of course, in the past I never dreamt of continuing the Wayne lineage due to fear of losing them but I knew that possibilities are always changing and that fear should have never clouded my thoughts. Also I always had trouble finding the right woman. There was this one woman that I met though a while back, It was on a boat…" Selina stopped him smiling.

"No no bat, It was on the street."

"Sure. It was on a boat…"


	33. Four Months In

In the bed of the clown couple, 2:44 a.m. displayed on the nightstand next to Joker. The window on the side of the bedroom was open halfway to allow a steady breeze of cool air to enter. So far into Harley's pregnancy it has had its ups and downs. Much like any other couple to be expecting, anxiety and happiness tend to go hand in hand. The exception becomes more noticeable when instead of your wife throwing the tv remote at your head, it was a blade instead, all it took was one fat joke. Yeah notice when I said wife. He proposed to her properly once he was told she was carrying their child. He wouldn't let his first born be a bastard. That chapter will be explored later in time but for now we'll explore what it is like for Harley to carry the Joker's baby.

"Mhmmm." She was beginning to wake up for the third time tonight to relieve herself. "Dammit, the little guy is pressing down on my bladder. Hell I had a small enough bladder before I got knocked up." She turned to see her husband sleeping pretty comfortably. When he was able to sleep, he would be discovered to fall deep into a relaxed state. Before she went to the bathroom she needed something from him.

"Puddin." She tapped lightly on his shoulders but nothing except some shrugging was the response. The purpose of waking him was foolish but necessary. Unfortunately this wasn't the first time this had happen but when the desire surfaces, you can't help but try to satisfy it. Harley used a little more weight behind her method of waking him up. His eyes split open as if he knew what she was going to ask him. " _I know that look and I gotta tell you the answer, no."_ She scuffed.

"Hey you don't know what I'm going to ask Jay. I could be demanding sex from you."

" _No no I know that look on your face, you're hungry sweets."_ Her cheeks turned red. "Hey you try eating for two."

" _Look love, I've had a long day setting up plans and torturing innocents. It can be a daunting task."_

"And you think supporting life is a walk in the park! I have this big bump that keeps growing and it's only been four months. Walking up these stairs just to get to bed is enough to tire me out. My old clothes don't fit and my suit…." She began to tear up. Joker instinctively held her as well as he could. He rubbed her stomach softly. " _There there Harleen. What would you like to eat?"_

"Taco Bell."

" _At least it's still open. What would you like from Taco Bell sweets?"_

"A five-layer burrito, cheesy potato burrito, two cool ranch Dorito Locos tacos, and two chicken chalupa supremes."

" _Okay Harley. I'll get you that food. Please try to stay awake honey, I don't think I can eat all that food by myself again."_

"I will Mistah J. Thank you puddin." A shifting was felt from Harley's bump. A wide smile formed from both of them. " _Are you sure you don't want to find out the sex of our child?"_

"No. I want it to be a surprise. I am hoping that it will be a girl though. Having tea parties, painting her nails, talking about boys, go shop...dammit. I'm getting emotional again."

" _It's fine sweet's, we'll just blame it on the hormones. I'm gonna get the food quickly."_

"Hurry back Mistah J." Joker went out the door. A couple minutes later the kitchen phone was ringing. Harley lumped out of bed swiftly and wobbled to the kitchen.

"Hello."

" _Would you want anything to drink Harley?"_

"Oh. I guess I could get a Sprite, something with citrus."

" _Okay. I'll be back soon. Get ready for 40% beef."_

"Thanks again puddin." Hanging up the phone and realized that her bladder was screaming and she hurried to the bathroom. "Halfway there."

Thirty minutes later…. " _She's probably asleep. I'll be left with all this 'food'. At least it's not Dominos."_ He unlocked the door and upstairs to greet his wife. " _Harley I hope your ready."_ She jumped up from the bed, kinda, more like rolling up from their silk sheets. He found it to be adorable. "Yes yes thank you so much Mistah J. Now I can sleep on a full stomach."

" _Just doing my part as a supportive partner."_

"I appreciate it very much." He opened up the bags and dropped what was inside on the bed. She looked at him with slight mischief. "Mind feeding me puddin, pwease?"

" _Oh I know that look."_

...

In the following morning, plastic wrappers were spread out around the room. The faint smell of ground beef filled the air. Buzz..Buzz...BUZZ! " _Ahh dammit. Why did I even turn you on, it's Saturday."_ Harley turned on her side to face Joker.

"I have an OB/GYN appointment this morning. I believe I wrote it on the fridge."

" _Oh yeah, sorry I forgot. What time is it?"_

"11:15 a.m. A time that isn't too late in the day but not early enough to examine past life choices." Joker takes a glance at his clock. The time was 9:37 a.m.

" _Okay that isn't too bad. There's even some time for breakfast if you're hungry."_ Harley perked up a little. "I could go for some eggs." She lifted her arm up to smell some body odor. "I might need to take a shower before we go. If you join me it'll go quicker."

" _You might leave dirtier than when you first went in."_

"My dirty clown. C'mon you can wash your little damsel in distress to smelling more fresh."

" _We could get lunch after the appointment instead."_

"I'd like that." She undressed him and in vice versa as they walked into their shower. Turning on the shower multiple jets from various angles began spraying water to cover both of their bodies. They kissed while being drenched by the multiple jets. He traced her labia majora lightly.

She moaned softly while using her tongue to tie his. He rubbed her stomach with moisturizer, feeling the life he had helped create, it was indescribable to say the least. Never before has he felt so normal. Her skin is so smooth and silky. Around the sides of her stomach he noticed some stretch marks that form. They weren't very noticeable but he couldn't help trace them. Harley shied away. Jay lifted her head up and gave her a charismatic smile. " _You are going to be great mother pooh. I love that I could have shared an experience like this with you. Without you in my life I would have been either continuing another facade in the face of thousands or fighting to the brink of death with a man dressed like a bat. Time and time again you are the one that keeps me on the straightened arrow. But if it wasn't for my lack of control, I would have never have found you Harleen. Now I have control and its because of you and our child."_ Harley was touched. All she could say was, "I love you so much Jay. You are going to be a great daddy, I know because you've taken such good care of us. When he or she comes into this great big world, we'll welcome it with open arms and affection with all the support we can muster."

Joker looked at the clock in their bathroom. " _Ok love, it's time to dry you. We don't wanna be late."_ He kissed her and turned off the shower head. "I wonder what will come of our appointment."

" _All we can do is hope for a happily, healthy, and loving child."_

...


	34. A Happy Addition

" _Hold tight Harley we're almost to the doctors office."_

"Hurry please Mistah J, I can't hold it any longer."

" _Dammit that was fast."_ The car was speeding along the Greenway to reach the clinic outside of Gotham. Harley's OBGYN was not currently aware of her current lifestyle with Gotham's most feared supervillain.

The doctor was from fresh outta med-school from John Hopkins and wanted to settle a little practice closer back home to Bludhaven. Because Harley didn't want the public to know the Joker was gonna be father she requested Jay to dress up and mask his appearance so he wouldn't scare the other expecting mothers and cause a preventable scene. A part of Jay wondered if she would have known who he was, the doctor didn't exactly follow the news. Either way Harley nor him wanted any potential exposure. He took a couple muscle relaxers to relax his face and add a little calm to a stressful morning. Along with the medicine he took some black hair gel and gave himself a fresh comb over. The last addition to the well thought disguise was the makeup. Covering his pale complexion wasn't uncomfortable or weird, he has done this before to track Batman when resurfacing.

Putting together his charcoal suit he forgot the pocket square. " _Harley dear could you get the crimson red pocket square from the closet?"_ She retrieved it and returned to the bathroom. Seeing him with skin tone was unusual. It was an interesting idea as to what he could have looked like before the accident. Harley neatly folded the pocket square and tucked it into the his pocket. "You look very handsome puddin. Thank you for doing this. I know this can be a process, please know I appreciate you doing this."

" _Of course I would do this honey. I want to be with you when Dr. Zapenski shows us our beautiful bundle of joy inside you."_ They held each other momentarily before a couple little kicks were felt by Harley. "I'm still hoping for a daughter."

" _Well you have a fifty/fifty chance sweets."_

Up the hill in the outer valley the two were definitely beyond Gotham's city line. Neither one of them can remember the last time they went this far outside the city. It wasn't deep country New York but the atmosphere was cleaner with the high abundance of trees and lack of people per square mile. The clinic was positioned here to avoid paying higher taxes and keep a steady stream of certain patients. Like a plant, you have to establish rhizomes. Those roots can connect communities to any persons practice.

They parked their car into the parking lot of this building. The design seemed to be an old victorian estate renovated up to code. The outside had a cream color with cloudy grey outlines around the pillars. Jay helped Harley out of the car. They held hands while entering the building. Once Jay opened the door Harley zipped to the closest bathroom. Eventually she came out and resumed forward. She noticed the first floor was nearly empty except for a few young nurses smiling at Jay. Harley noticed and formed a slight frown. "Step away ladies, he's expecting soon," she muttered. "Ya bunch of floozies."

Jay giggled. " _Don't worry Harley. They may be young nurses but I married the experienced doctor."_

"I know puddin. Oh shit! I need to call Dr. Arkham in regards to my maternity leave soon."

" _Yeah I'd get on that soon sweets. I'm sure your union representative will be of some service if obstacles are present."_

"Excuse me sir, miss." The nurse at the desk got their attention.

" _Ah yes, Mr. and Mrs. Napier for Dr. Zapenski."_ The nurse typed it up in the system. "For 11:15?"

" _Yes."_ More typing was continued. "Excellent sir, please follow me." The nurse lead them down to one of the examining rooms. "The doctor will see you both shortly. Please put this on for the examination. The nurse handed Harley a patient's gown. Shortly after the nurse left, Jay helped Harley undress. Five minutes later a knocking was made and the door opened. A young brunette appeared with a professional smile. "Hello Mr. and Mrs. Napier, how are you both doing?" Both responded at the same time.

"Tir _ed."_

"Well I hope not too tired to see your developing baby for the first time. Mrs. Napier, would you mind hopping on the examination chair?"

"No problem doc." Harley plopped herself onto the chair and placed her feet in the stirrups. "Have you been drinking?"

"No." A slash was crossed from the doc's clipboard.

"Do you smoke?"

"No." Slash.

"Does your family history indicate any patterns of premature birth or disease."

"No." Slash.

"Do you experience constant stress or are prone to stressors?"

"Not recently no." Slash.

"Do you take any sort of medication?"

"No." Slash.

"How often do you have intercourse with your husband in any given week?"

"I think twelve times at least. Especially with my hormones going all over the place, I've been jumping my hubby a lot more than usual." Jay smirked. The doctor wrote in her notes.

"And have you been sticking to a diet in response to your pregnancy?"

"Yes. Fruits and veggies with lean meat particularly chicken. We use olive oil when preparing certain dishes. Sometimes I sneak some bread when he's not looking."

" _Well I notice when the bread pantry is empty with only bread crumbs in the plastic bags."_

"What he knows of at least. I'm sneaky Jay."

" _I know I know."_

The doctor wrote some last remarks and placed the clipboard to the side.

"Okay Mrs. Napier I'm going to take a look and see if anything is of concern."

"Okay Dr. Zapenski." She began the exam and checked the entire area for any growths or bumps. Using her speculum she took a look inside. "Have you been feeling any pain recently around the pubic region?"

"No, I haven't sensed any uncomfortable sensations lately. Is there something wrong?"

"Don't worry there's wrong. Just some redness. It's likely due to having intercourse recently. Besides that I see no cysts, bumps, or anomalies." She took out the speculum and told Harley to take her legs out of the stirrups. "Are you two ready to see your first baby?"

"Yes." " _Yes."_ The doctor took out a tube of clear gel and squirted a decent amount of gel over her stomach. She grabs the transducer probe and turns on the ultrasound. A minute to two passed before the system rebooted. The probe was placed onto Harley's stomach. A grey scale popped up on the screen. The noise of a heartbeat filling the room as silence with the parents watching for a developing fetus. Moving around the suspense was killing them. Up and down, left and right, there was a search but nothing. "Ahh I got it, the little bugger was hiding from me." Harley grabbed Jay's hand. "There's our little guy." She said near the brink of tears. " _Wow."_ Jay felt dumbfounded. The feeling of something huge was finally sinking. " _Our family just got bigger by one,"_ said smiling.

"Actually by two." Both looked at the doctor with big eyes.

"You mean…" A part of Harley was hoping for this. Another person to play with.

"You will be expecting healthy twins."

"Oh my god. What's the sex of them?" Dr. Zapenski looked at the ultrasound and moved the probe. "Girl, both of your younglings are girls."

"Eeeeee." Harley was tickled pink.

" _Oy vey."_


	35. Need, Not Want

On a clear day in Gotham City gave way to the presence of spring flourishing. There was pollen in the air, trees blooming throughout Central Square, children playing in the streets, and the elderly feeding greedy pigeons. The day couldn't have been more vibrant and optimistic if mother nature was given a Prozac prescription.

Down on Timm Blvd., there was a local bar called "The Misunderstood." It traditionally hosted villains and ready to hire thugs within the inner walls of the building. The outer walls of the facility contained the cover of a phone sex operating center. While some were getting erections, others couldn't feel theirs, especially after the fifth shot. The bar was usually packed during this time of the day in the week but even the despicable want to enjoy the weather before summer inevitably hits. There was only a single bartender present and two men sitting on stools swallowing liquid courage.

" _Hit me."_ The bartender poured another shot. "Ya know J, I think you might have a drinking problem." Joker looked at him with a stone face.

" _Which side is telling me that Harvey, Honor or Infamy?"_ Joker was having an existential crisis. "Honor."

" _Well I'm not an alcoholic. In fact I actually can't get drunk, I've tried. Once you've swan dive inside a vat toxic chemicals and survive, you don't tend to become affected by Jane Walker."_

"Then what's the problem then Jay? You don't seem to be your typical cheering, foolish self."

" _It's hard to explain Harv. Lately I've been having a conflict of self. Sometimes I go out to the outskirts of the city limits and stare at the sky scrapers from a far."_ Harvey looks at his glass and pushes it to the side. "C'mon, let's go to the roof."

" _Fine."_ Joker pays for the drinks and follows Two-Face to the roof. Outside on the roof showed the venue of downtown Gotham while the sun released radiant energy. The clouds were coming closer together to add some gray to the over expanding blue sky. "Jay, from one man to another I understand the aspect of an existential crisis. I've had moments of second guessing my actions in the past when taking a score or destroying the image of people in power. The choices we make can create positive and negative effects on not just others but ourselves as well. No one evil or good has ever avoided doubt…" Interrupted by the Joker.

" _I appreciate that Harv. I just wonder if what I'm doing is right or enough. When I first came back to this city I had one singular goal, own it. In a way I achieved that over the years by creating fear from my unpredictability. Also my transformation helped a couple times. But every time I cause mayhem and chaos the man dressed in black comes to 'save the city' even though he's never willing to ensure the safety of Gotham, because he knows he'll be no better than us."_

"The game of cat and mouse does seem to appear stale. Put that on the backburner and let's look at your personal life. You have Harley." Jay chuckles.

" _Yes I do. She is the one person who actually wanted to look through the insanity and view an individual containing potential to offer society more. I do love her, she knows that deep down but I don't say it often enough."_

"Sometimes relationships are unequal. I know with Pam I wanted a commitment but she was afraid of getting hurt again. The last relationship she had left a bad taste in her mouth."

" _Yeah but I see you two mingle during social events. Now that's a game of cat and mouse. Without Dr. Wilson she would have never been the thorn in my backside or your friend with benefits. Harley never had a serious relationship before she met me, she never even felt a man before I showed her how sturdy the couches at Arkham are. When I wake up at night eight times out of ten she has a death grip over me. She has her cute quirks but I honestly never thought I would be discussing relationships, people are terrified of me."_

"But she isn't."

" _No she's not. She adores me. I feel like I put my needs above hers lately. Traditionally I've focused on the destruction of Gotham and owning the Underground. One was accomplished while the other was an unachievable goal. Overtime that desire diminished and frankly I'm tired now."_

"You ever think of walking away from all this?"

" _Yes."_ Harvey was surprised.

"Wow, what have you done with the real Joker?" Joker smirked. "What's stopping you then?"

" _I'm the Joker, the Ace of Knaves, the Harlequin of Hell, my face just like the title is ubiquitous with the city. Gotham is my home, I grew up in this town, I came back when I knew it was time to make a change within the Underground. Despite my destruction and negative actions I do care about this dam city. What would I be if I just left Gotham one night with Harley and never looked back?"_

"A man seeking change but ultimately wanting the woman you love to be by your side wherever the place you seek is."

" _Maybe."_

"All I can offer is my opinion and personal experience Jay. Ultimately it's up to you to decide whether leaving is the better option or just resume your role is satisfactory enough in the long run. No matter what you choose, you'll always have a friend to talk to." The two hugged quickly.

" _Thank you Harvey."_ The sun was turning the other way and the day was slowly coming to an end. Jay left the bar and drove back to the town house. He wrote a note and left it by the kitchen counter. The sun was beginning to set and he knew Harley wasn't going to be back home for another hour. By that time the moon will be full and the atmosphere will be set. He left the home and drove into town to prepare for the night.

Harley came home from visiting her parents. She was looking forward to seeing Jay from being a week apart. Instead she found a note telling her to go the Arkham facilities and meet up with the Joker on the roof. Quickly she got back in the car and drove to the Arkham Estate. Upon arrival to the facility she easily found her way around the security guards and began climbing the emergency fire escape. Climbing to the top of the roof revealed a expressionless Joker staring at the moon. It illuminated the ground around them. There was no presence of sound, no wind, no outside disturbances, no one else, just them. Harley walks up slowly.

"Jay, is everything alright?"

" _When I first met you in the examination room two floors down below us -_ we escaped together."

" _Ready to explore the possibilities that came later together. I knew I'd needed that moment. Just like I need you."_ He came up to her.

" _I'm scared."_

"Jack." Harley was stunned, not sure if what was happening is actual reality.

" _Harleen. I love you."_ He drops down on one knee in front of her. Looking up to her beautiful face he pulled out a small black box. Opening it revealed a platinum engagement ring that reflected light emitted from the full moon. At that moment he knew what he wanted, her.

" _Marry Me."_

...


	36. Cake

On a Tuesday afternoon the sun was partially covered with clouds. The bustling streets filled the ears of fellow Gothamites. Nothing alarming arose in the city, not an explosion, demolition, or massacre. Nope just some local anesthesia.

"Now count backwards from 100." The anesthesiologist said calmly before turning the knob. "This will be over sooner than you know it Dr. Quinzel."

"I better not wake up with a kid on my lap…." Her vision went black and silence ensued.

Immediately the environment changed to show the Joker's penthouse building just placed in the center of a green grass field. It couldn't have been more put out of place. The door was wide open to the main entrance. Walking in there was no one there. The grey marble reflected from the fluorescent lights. A ding from the elevator occurred. What appeared was a dark green balloon once the doors opened. It contained a red harlequin diamond painted around the balloon. There was a purple pin attached to the string. "Ouuu." Entering the elevator she turned around to see a minimalistic button panel, only a blue button with no number listed, just a phrase, _Amare._

The button was pressed and the doors reopened to show the Joker, smiling as ever. He contained the same attire when they first escaped Arkham together. The iris shade of purple for his suit with slate grey colored buttons attached. His undershirt had a flint hue of grey that complimented a charcoal colored tie. The playfulness in his vibrant green eyes were noticeable but an unknown intention was visible as well.

" _Hello love. Happy Valentines Day."_ He handed her a plate. " _Pop it sweets."_

Harley untied the pin from the string. The popping gave off the sound of a clown horn and a cake plopped onto the plate. The cake had three layers with blue, green, violet frosting. The base was blood red and smelled of vanilla and mint. White frosting on the top wrote out 'till the end' with a single candle in the middle. Joker wrapped his arm around her and pulled out a long knife. " _Where would you like to eat this? Try me."_

"Hmmm. The moon." And with that the Joker snapped his fingers and both became weightless on top of a crater. He began to start choking from a lack of air. "Puddin..PUDDIN!"

" _Hahahahahahahahahaha. Aww love, this isn't reality, your not aware."_ She punches his arm. "That's not funny Mistah J. I was concerned, even if this is a dream. Where are you?"

" _I'm waiting for you. The nurse was adamant that I'd stay in the waiting room while your under the knife."_ She holds him. "That's so considerate Mistah J."

" _Ugh love, my knife is in your chest."_

"Oops." Joker took out a white picnic blanket and placed it on the surface. Two plates and two forks appeared. " _Come, sit."_ She laid down next to him. Two equal pieces were cut but the candle was given to Harley. " _Make a wish."_ She blew it out and watch the smoke dissipate into the emptiness of space. At least it wasn't the dark side of the moon. "I wish to see you after this." His held a small genuine smile.

" _You will see me again. I'll always be there for you love, the jester for a queen."_

"The wife to the king." Harley nuzzled her head along Jokers chest. "Mind feeding me the cake. It's Valentine's day."

" _Oh pooh, we did something similar two weeks ago. I can do this any time of the year. All you need to do is wake up."_ Harley was being pulled away from the Joker's embrace.

"Wait no no. I wanna eat this amalgamation cake." The sound of her cries was being drowned out from the sound of a heart monitor.

"Hello...anyone there?", said in a drained tone. Vision was blurred, twitching present in the left arm, an itch on the other. In an expression of need she cried out, "Pudddin!"

" _Harleen."_ Jay come back into the room. " _I'm here love, everything is alright."_ She began to cry.

"Happy Valentines day." Harley said tiredly. Joker was confused and looked at the calendar.

" _Ah sweets, it's June. Look at the grass growing outside, it would be dead at that time of year. How are you feeling love?"_

"Sore. Can you make a cake for me puddin?"

" _Of course pumpkin. I can even feed it to you, my poor patient."_


	37. Curb Your Enthusiasm

Bum bum bum…

"Okay Mr. Napier, today we'll be performing a routine physical before you take the fertility test. Please breathe in and out, in and out, in and out." He breathed as the doctor traced her stethoscope across his heart and back. "Good." She felt his neck to feel for lumps, nothing was found. The doctor took a look inside Jokers ears. "Might wanna clean your ears more often. Okay Mr. Napier I need you to take off your pants." He listened, " _Well it's a little cold in here so everything's a little tucked in."_

"If I got a nickel for every time I heard that." She cupped each ball to feel for any abnormalities. "Relax Mr. Napier."

" _Easier said than done. Women don't have to deal with anything hanging down there."_ She remained stuck on the left testicle. " _Is there something wrong?"_

"Probably not, feels like a cyst. Cough please." **Cough..Cough** "Thank you." She went to the cabinet in the corner in the room. Turning around she gave Joker a plastic cup with a tag on the side. "When you are done with your task, take the cup to a nurse in the lobby."

" _Okay, thank you."_ Joker looked at the interior of the room. It's small, compact, beige, and contains the smell of rubbing alcohol. " _This is unusual. If only Harley was here. Not even a magazine, really?"_ He too out his phone. " _Harley."_

"Hi puddin, how's the test?"

" _It's going a bit slow right now. Would you mind talking dirty to me?"_

"I can't right now Jack, I'm waiting in the office to take my fertility test. You can't get yourself off without my assistance?" He pondered the question. " _Actually I don't remember the last time I jerked off alone. You always seem to give out a helping hand."_ She smirked from that statement. "Just think of the date we had last Friday. All of what….four canisters of Redi Whip used in the process of three hours. The stains still haven't come out of the sofa."

" _Okay thanks sweets, talk to you soon."_ He put his phone on the examination bed and began tugging. Semi-hard and persistent, he turned his head up and saw a small mirror reflection. " _This looks a little ridiculous. I'm fucking her hard tonight."_ That thought gave him his erection back. To continue the process, he imagined fucking Harley's face. **Knock..Knock**

" _What!"_ There was a pause. "Mr. Napier are you done, it's been a half-hour." It was the nurse to obtain the sample. " _No, no, no. I need some more time. I'll be out in a little bit."_

"Okay Mr. Napier, when you finish, I'll be out in the front desk." A couple seconds passed. " _Jesus, I fucking getting annoyed here."_ **Buzz..** He picked up the phone and saw Pamela and his erection became flaccid immediately. " _What do you want Pam?"_ His tone got deeper from sexual aggression and incomplete satisfaction.

"Well you sound friendly, how's your mood?"

" _Oh just tugging along. How's your day?"_

"I just got out of bed. Two o'clock in the afternoon isn't late right?"

" _Not for someone who's unemployed?_ She scoffed that remark. "So what are you doing right now?"

" _Nothing much. Just responding to a general question."_

"Don't you want to ask what I'm wearing?"

" _No."_ He said immediately.

"The answer is nothing but thin laced purple panties." He had a realization suddenly.

" _Harley told you about us trying to have a child didn't she?"_

"She would have passed out from the overabundance of excitement if she didn't, she almost forgot to breath a one point when telling me"

" _Well I'm going to end this phone call. I don't know how Harvey finds your talk seductive. Maybe that's why you use pheromones, its all you got."_ The phone call ended. He went to the photo app look for a picture of Harley. The first hundred were a compilation of Spooktober, Sans, Calcium, and Spicy Memes. He finally found a photo of her in their bed. It only showed her face and silky smooth arms. His erection form and began the process yet again. Eventually he climaxed and shot his load into the cup and quickly pulled his pants up. Opening the door, Joker went to the front desk and handed the cup to the designated nurse. " _Here you go. When should I get the results?"_

"About a week or two. Any questions about the test."

" _No, I'm going to take my wife home. Have a nice day."_ He did not see Harley in the waiting room so he went outside the office to the main lobby of the building. Harley was near the door waiting as she always does. He smiled as he got closer to her. "Oh hi puddin. That took a while didn't it?"

" _Yes it did. I imagined I was cumming in your mouth."_

"Like last Friday, that's nice." They held each others hand as they walked to his car.

Later in the week,

Harley was cleaning around their bedroom. She took a swiffer sweeper and place it around the curtains to catch up as much dust as possible. What followed was spraying the windows, vacuuming the hardwood floor, and cleaning out the nightstands. She opened up the first drawer and pulled out some documents. She reached in the back of the drawer to make sure everything was out. Something felt rigid, especially around the edges. "Huh. What is that?" She pulled out what appeared to be a roll of condoms. "God dammit Mistah Jay. Bareskin condoms, that why I didn't feel a difference last time."

Harley poked a hole into the condoms he's hid. "There, let's see how it feels later tonight." She placed the condoms and documents back into the drawer and exited their bedroom.

The next day, **Knock..Knock.** Harley answered the door. "Harvey, what brings you to our neck of the woods?"

"I wanted to talk to Jay."

"Sure he's in the living room."

"Thanks Harley."

" _Hey Harv, have you come for some dinner?"_

"No Jay I'm in a rut, would you mind giving me those condoms you keep in your nightstand?"

" _Wait how the hell do you know about the condoms?"_

"Ivy mentioned what Harley told her during one of their chat's, she can't keep a secret to save her life."

" _Hey that's my wife your talking about. Only I'm the one to point out her faults, not you!"_ Joker pulled out the drawer of the nightstand and threw the condoms at Harvey's face. " _Here, use them all for all I care."_

"Thanks Jay, I owe you one."

" _You can thank me by getting out of here Harv. Although I've always wanted to ask, does the burn divide reach where the white walkers march?"  
_ "Fuck you."

" _That's not a no."_ Harvey walked out quickly and slammed the door. Joker went to the kitchen to talk to Harley. "Hey honey, Is there something wrong?"

" _I need you to stop telling Pamela my personal information. A person I loath shouldn't know details you wouldn't find on my Wikipedia page."_

"I don't tell her much. When we talk at times it's just about girly things and sometimes our men enter the conversation, it's only natural. You can't tell me you haven't told Harvey about any intimate details we had."

" _I barely talk shop sweets, I just want some things to be kept between us."_

"Don't worry puddin, I will. Get wash up Mistah Jay, dinner will be ready in a couple minutes."

Back at Ivy's late night, Harvey and Ivy finished a couple bottles of scotch and decided to have sex before passing out on the couch. Ten minutes was all it lasted.

"Oh shit I'm about to cum."

"Harvey! Cum on my face."

"Not this time bitch." Harvey came inside her but he used the condoms Joker gave him.

"Dammit Harvey you bastard."

Two days later...

 **.zzzz** Jack picked up the phone.

" _If you would like to make a call please hang up and dial again."_

"Jay you son of a bitch, did you pre-break the condoms you give me?"

" _No why."_

"I got Pamela pregnant."

" _Oof."_

Bum bum bum…


End file.
